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Thread: General Fan Mission Review And Discussion Megathread

  1. #1126
    Moderator
    Registered: Apr 2003
    Location: Wales
    No - don't change them. Em dashes are much more sexy, except keyboards don't do either em or en dashes without some special, magical, hocus pocus.

    I agree about Thor's choice - I'd never heard of it either. Wish I knew where I'd put my TG now - I really want to see that moon.

    And by the way, there's a question here that's looking for an answer. But you didn't mention which particular chapter in your review.

  2. #1127
    Member
    Registered: Jan 2006
    Location: On the tip of your tongue.
    Quote Originally Posted by The Mike View Post
    "it doesn't matter; these are just for fun"
    Fixed.

  3. #1128
    Member
    Registered: May 2003
    Location: Normally I'm in the batcave.
    GAH! Again I'm defeated!

    *raises fist in the air* SEMICOLOOOOOOOON!!!!!!

    I agree with nickie; dashes are much more sexy anyway (even as I betray them).

  4. #1129
    Moderator
    Registered: Apr 2003
    Location: Wales
    Especially as you portray them.

    And I'm looking forward to seeing more in your upcoming review of . . .

  5. #1130
    Member
    Registered: May 2003
    Location: Normally I'm in the batcave.
    Quote Originally Posted by nickie View Post
    Especially as you portray them.
    You know it baby! No one uses dashes with the same reckless abandon as yours truly- and so damn inappropriately too! I read that file you linked too on semicolons...God...no wonder I decided long ago to abandon them completely.

    And I'm looking forward to seeing more in your upcoming review of . . .
    .....If you were setting me up for a segue into a new review there...I got nothin'. I should probably get to work, huh? It's most likely going to be "Wicked Relics" but I need to get into a writing mood again (in other words I need to find where my roommate hid his good scotch, the cheap bastard...).

  6. #1131
    Taking a break
    Registered: Aug 2008
    Location: in your second eyelids

    Reviewing: "Love Story part I"

    Love Story series have been already reviewed by SneakyJack, but hey, multiple opinions are still legal, right? Right?!

    Game: Thief II
    Author: john9818a (John Denison)
    Mission: Love Story I
    Released: 14th Mar 2004

    It felt like a regular mission at the very beginning (probably because of the "you're in jail" scenario), but it got better. In this mission the "bad guys" didn't really seem so bad as usual (some FM authors simply prefer to make them look completely evil) and the aura for most of the mission felt less pessimistic itself. Maybe it's just me... (or the title!)

    The architecture, lightening, textures were all well thought out and the mission was pleasant to look at. I especially enjoyed the first building's architecture at some places.
    The game area was middle-ground, I suppose. After You left the first building, You engaged with many others, but the city ended up smaller than I thought.
    I like when there's special weather in a mission, like snow in this mission, it's certainly makes the mission different - for better or worse. I like it better, of course. I also like thunder, just like it was today. I went outside just to get soak and wet. It's the closest I got to happiness this week.
    I sure could have liked some ambient sounds in the houses and outsides, besides the snow and bad isolation walls , better than no sound at all. Makes the life go away, unless You care that little for music or turn on something on Your own. By the way, in the OM "Running Interference" in 2nd floor was a nice music, which was also used in some parts of the prison You start it, but unfortunately that was about it.
    There wasn't as much of a story as I thought there would be, but it's also a first in the series and for 4MBs - a pretty good one - I think, so I'll hope it gets better and better as the story progresses.

    These seem to be the screens I've chased for this one. Also, I decided to put the cheap-skate comments below the pictures now. Better get used to it before I call the cops.


    This storage room tries to look simple. Not buyin' it!


    Stop staring at me!


    So cool...


    -Don't move! Got it? Seriously - don't move!
    *He didn't listen*


    Almost magickal (this makes me want to sing a song where those 2 or at least 1 of those words was included, lol) (also, I wrote magick that way on purpose, since Arcanum does it that way)


    Don't really have any smart-ass comments on this one. A good view though.

    P.S. I 'effin' didn't finish this mission as well. I had some loot problems, though I did all the main objectivesI know it's not good to review stuff You haven't totally finished, especially twice... In a row... I'll try to finish them both and stop being such an a**h*le in the future.

    P.P.S. I hope this doesn't seem like a potboiler to You guys, my inspiration & sh*t has sorta ran out and I seem to swear more than usual, if I can't even contain myself here.
    Last edited by Thor; 25th Jul 2009 at 08:08.

  7. #1132
    Member
    Registered: May 2008
    Sorry for not being able to keep up completely with the index of this thread until now - I'll be going through the last couple reviews I missed and adding everything to the first post in the thread as per the usual.

    Thanks to everyone that has been submitting reviews - they've all been great and I've had a great time reading them, please continue

    I'll still be contributing reviews to this thread and updating the index as reviews are posted but my time has been severely limited lately and I can't commit to any more projects until my schedule slows down.

    All that being said, lets see some more reviews!

    Edit: Both indexes in the first post updated, fantastic work everyone! I'm definitely not going anywhere or leaving the community anytime soon - I'm just going to be very sporadic in my online time for a while. I'll definitely keep the indexes updated and I'll be reading and contributing reviews though!
    Last edited by SneakyJack; 1st Jul 2009 at 18:40.

  8. #1133
    Member
    Registered: Aug 2006
    Location: Great. Now I can't get back in
    Another excellent review, Thor02 - have meant to comment before this, but I really enjoy your straightforward way of doing them & not sticking to a particular 'structure' - makes it feel sort of like you're talking to us, somehow (can't think of a better way to describe it )

    Anyway, keep 'em coming!

  9. #1134
    Member
    Registered: Jun 2007
    Location: UK
    Thanks for keeping the reviews flowing, people. I've been a bit lax on thief lately what with the job hunting and going out on olde London Towne.

  10. #1135
    Member
    Registered: Sep 2003
    Location: Sioux Falls, SD
    This has been a wonderful thread; we just can't let it die!

    - David

  11. #1136
    Member
    Registered: May 2008
    Quote Originally Posted by Mechs Delight View Post
    This has been a wonderful thread; we just can't let it die!

    - David
    It certainly wont die I think all the reviewers just got a bit busy, myself included. I'll be adding more reviews very soon.

  12. #1137
    Taking a break
    Registered: Aug 2008
    Location: in your second eyelids
    Quote Originally Posted by SneakyJack View Post
    It certainly wont die I think all the reviewers just got a bit busy, myself included. I'll be adding more reviews very soon.
    I'm not particulary (damnit, how do you write that word right!) busy, I'm just taking a bit of break for them plus I did a Thief II OM marathon with 2 fellow TTLGers.

    The Mike and Potato Guy should have posted some reviews by now, though. (this might sound a bit arrogant of me, but I didn't mean it)

  13. #1138
    Member
    Registered: Aug 2003
    Location: Belton Missouri
    I might deserve to be scolded by some, especially the author, for my dark dark secret written somewhere above, but I really wanted to post this one anyway.
    Just noticed I got a review, nice AND im the only TG in this whole thread. Thor if you liked that easter egg, you would probably like the easter egg in Invitation to Castle Morgoth. I think in that FM's thread I turned people off to the flaming skulls purpose saying its not necessary, Im just going to say it. That skull is the way to get into the egg of Castle Morgoth.

  14. #1139
    Member
    Registered: May 2003
    Location: Normally I'm in the batcave.
    Hey everyone! Sorry I've been so quiet lately, I've been busy celebrating the last couple weeks. Firstly for the fourth of July; mostly my celebrating for that has involved a whole lot of drinking and barbecuing (though I don't recommend doing both at the same time, especially if you have a gas grill and value your eyebrows). Also, my birthday is tomorrow, so I've been celebrating that as well. I'm 24, which means I'm officially one year away from being able to legally rent a car in New York state....uh...WHOO HOO......

    Anyway, it's been a while since I've graced this forum with one of my reviews and I know that Mike withdrawal is the leading cause of depression in America. So I present my "Wicked Relics" review: you may now commence rolling around on the floor in a half-crazed state of blissful joy.

    Wicked Relics

    First off, let me say that I've become a huge fan of FM author "Kfort". Why? Because all of her missions are absolutely f*****g crazy. I don't mean crazy like "man, YOU SO CRAZY" either, I mean like "keep them away from sharp objects and electrical outlets" crazy. Of course, me and crazy have a good relationship, so I love every "what the hell just happened and why is it so awesome?" second of them. She first won me over with her FM "Garrett and the Beanstalk" which features giants, drunken dwarves, and yes (much to the joy of my pixie stick snorting inner child) a giant climbable beanstalk. I liked it so much that in darkloader's comment box I left a long glowing diatribe about how much ass it kicked, and even used the word "enchanted" which I've never used before and hope to God I will never be delirious enough to use again. Then she released "Bloodmist Tower" which, basically....if there were such a thing as a drive thru where you could pull up and special order an FM, this is eerily close to what I would order: right down to the rave party that ends with everyone becoming a zombie (they did leave out my side of robots fighting ninjas but I'll let it slide).

    Now in her newest mission "Wicked Relics" she offers up more excellent gameplay served with a side of crazy, and the formula hasn't gotten even the slightest bit stale. Reviewing a Kfort mission is difficult for me, because I feel like in reviewing them I should match their craziness. However, if I were to review this with a bucket over my head while beating the bucket with a large spoon and shouting "WALLA WALLA" repeatedly I would only be half as crazy as this FM is...and frankly at that point I'd be out of ideas for how to increase my insanity level. Also I don't think I could properly type while beating my head with a spoon, let me test that: hello my name is mike....Okay, it seems that I can, but it was a slow process and now my head hurts. Way to go everyone-who-didn't-stop-me-from-physically-abusing-myself, you're all really on the ball today. Trust me though, as un-crazy as this review may be, this FM is a big heaping bowl of steaming crazy and much more entertaining for it. Also if you're already tired of reading the word crazy, I have not yet BEGUN to overuse it. Crazy crazy crazy crazy.
    ....CRAZY.

    But right now you're probably huddled in the corner scared and confused because you have no idea what the plot is and you're worried people are going to start asking you questions about it making you feel socially awkward. Don't you worry sir, I have you covered. You play Garrett- king of thieves, lord of shadows, and the only man who is so badass he can order an apple-teenie and not feel the slightest bit effeminate- who has just learned from his friend and fellow thief "Tricky Nick" that Lord Bradley has acquired the Scepter of Malov and is now keeping it in a gallery in his mansion. Since Garrett will not suffer a McGuffin to go un-robbed, he makes a plan to steal the scepter with the help of his friend Tricky; who will be inside the mansion being as totally useful and probably-not-dead as possible.

    The story is really just a reason to enter this mansion full of crazy things to do and look at and doesn't really take many surprising turns; the mission technically has two plot twists but you will probably see both of them coming if you're half as clever as I am (although I hardly imagine THAT'S the case, if the totally awesome fort I made in the corner of my room out of old bedsheets is any measure of my level of cleverness). It doesn't matter though, the emphasis here is on pure entertainment and unique level design, and dear sweet holy Batman is it entertaining. Every room has something interesting or unusual in it. It isn't always something completely crazy like a guard with a wooden leg or an invisible monster or a dewdrop doll that yells at you when you pick it up, sometimes it's the little things: like water arrows kept inside of glass containers with "break in case of emergency" signs hung over them and a nearby hammer hanging on the wall (go ahead, you know you want to), or a second story balcony with a diving board jutting out of it overlooking a pool (launching fire arrows at pursuing guards and then using this as an especially dramatic escape route makes you 30% closer to being James Bond). I've said it before, but I loved every second of this FM. I mean it though. This FM has given me zombies and one legged guards to fire arrow, the love is real this time. Then there's the easter egg...I'm not going to give it away but let me just say that getting a certain door in the basement open should become the most important of your life's goals. No words do it justice so I'll just make one up: it is sexymazing.

    Of course the mission looks fantastic also. The mansion might not be full of complex architecture, but the beauty is in the details, and in that regard it looks fantastic. I had the enhancement pack on while playing it since, being a man of the blu-ray age, seeing low res textures causes my eyes to burst into flames; it does look great even with it turned off though. You will find a lot of objects have been replaced anyway, and most of the loot is new stuff you might not be used to stealing. That's a good thing, because the mission makes you steal a LOT of loot; in the English measuring system I think they'd refer to it as an "assload". On expert the required amount is 12,000 which is just enough to make most people go "HUH BUH JUH BUH WHAAAAAA??!", but it actually isn't that difficult. At their worst, loot goals become an annoying scavenger hunt while at their best they're an amusing side quest to help you stay in character. Luckily this falls into the second category; also the loot at times looks stupidly awesome, BEHOLD:


    If you don't think this is the greatest dinner plate on Earth, you and me have a problem.

    So basically, I loved this mission. In fact I think I more than love this mission. I feel the same way about it that I think the author of "Bad Debts" and "Disorientation" feels about rope arrows, IT'S THAT SERIOUS. I'm not the kind of person to give out scores based on some kind of number system (that would be dangerously close to math, and after high school me and math decided to go our separate ways. It just wasn't working between us), so without any kind of pre-determined scale to go on I'm just going to hand this mission a "10" and let it decide what to make of it. I hear 10's are pretty awesome though, so it can go ahead and put it on its mantle and be proud of it. This mission is without a doubt worth the download. I was enchanted- OH GOD, I USED IT AGAIN. Well played Kfort...well played.

    And now screenshots, which I now realize are entirely of inanimate objects:


    Much applause and cheering followed what took place immediately after the taking of this screenshot.


    If ever a "Mike trap" existed, this is it.


    You can rest assured that nothing horrifying will happen immediately after grabbing this.


    ...I love lamp.


    UP NEXT: I'm planning on doing something that's more an article than a review- my top five or ten favorite contest missions. Haven't decided on the number yet. Being as I'm lazy count on a top 5 list, though I might go the extra mile (I'm just unpredictable like that).

  15. #1140
    Taking a break
    Registered: Aug 2008
    Location: in your second eyelids
    Yay! The Mike is back.
    Congrats on your birthday!
    I'll be sure to read it.

    Vlad, I'll be sure to replay Castle of Morgoth and maybe review it too. Though that may be in later times, cause now I've got like 2 mission I must play first and about 5 or so of them I must play next xD Too bad I'm not so good at multitasking with Thief.

  16. #1141
    New Member
    Registered: May 2008
    Location: United States
    Great reveiw The Mike! It was very entertaining
    Altough you forgot to mention Kforts other crazy mission "Adventures of Burrick boy" Its really short but very funny

  17. #1142
    Member
    Registered: Sep 2002
    Location: USA
    Quote Originally Posted by Ayra View Post
    Great reveiw The Mike! It was very entertaining
    Although you forgot to mention Kforts other crazy mission "Adventures of Burrick boy" Its really short but very funny
    And let's not forget the contest mission that started it all, "A Mother's Love," my very first mission. Also pretty crazy, what with the pit fighting, exploding fruit, and revenge-crazed mother. What can I say .... I'm a little different.



    Thanks for the great review, Mike! I'm glad you liked the mission and enjoyed my special brand of crazy. It took a long time to get Wicked Relics whipped into shape, but I'm awful proud of the results. WR pretty much distills all my favorite things about Thief, crams them into one mission, and then adds more DewDrops. You can always use more DewDrops.

    And I see you found the lever I left for you. *evil laughter* Sometimes I just can't resist my dark side ... and that sign was begging to be used in an irresponsible manner.


    Happy birthday!

  18. #1143
    Clearinghouse
    Registered: Aug 2002
    Location: Siberia, Russia
    Very good reveiw, The Mike

  19. #1144
    Member
    Registered: Aug 2006
    Location: Great. Now I can't get back in
    First "nerdgasm" & now "sexymazing" - Mike, you really should talk to Mr Webster

    Great review, Great FM.

  20. #1145
    Member
    Registered: May 2003
    Location: Normally I'm in the batcave.
    Thanks for the comments everyone, also thanks for all the Happy Birthdays; YOU PEOPLE JUST...YOU GET ME ALL CHOKED UP. (also I should probably say "Happy Birthday" to you as well Clearing, judging from the other thread near the top of the forum. HIGH-FIVE. High fives are still cool right?)
    And yes StickyFingers, me and Webster have been at war for quite some time. Bastard just can't accept my subtle reworking of the English language. In retrospect my newest word "sexymazing" might be a little too close to my previously invented word "sexytastic"...but what can I say? "Sexy" makes for a surprisingly versatile prefix.

    Thanks for commenting also Kfort, I always like actually hearing from the authors of the missions I review. By the way, when I pulled that lever I somehow survived the subsequent explosion with one remaining health point. SEEMS YOUR MIKE TRAP HAS BEEN BESTED.
    Last edited by The Mike; 15th Jul 2009 at 00:52.

  21. #1146
    Moderator
    Registered: Jul 2008
    Another great review The Mike! Very entertaining. And I too loved this mission, even after playing it close to a hundred times! Kfort did a tremendous job with this FM. And happy birthday, btw.

  22. #1147
    Member
    Registered: May 2008
    I too had the pleasure of testing it (not as extensively as Tannar did though, whew! Talk about a machine!) as I've mentioned before and found myself doing something repeatedly that I had never really done before when testing a mission - looking forward to playing it for the 20th or so time

    Even now after testing it through so many rounds of changes and differences I still could load it up and have a blast - its just one of those missions where the gameplay is so strong and so fun that even after you've tested it two dozen times you can still pick it up and play and have a good time. I find that very few missions hold up that well for me (Pirates Ahoy! and Broken Triad's first mission and The Seven Sisters come to mind immediately) so I love when a mission comes along that can fit into that group.

    Then again I gushed about it enough in my review so I'll leave it at that before I go into another rant about how its a perfect mansion mission and yadda yadda.

  23. #1148
    Moderator
    Registered: Apr 2003
    Location: Wales
    Excellent review as usual, The Mike, though I was slightly disappointed by the lack of dash.

    Happy Birthday to you and congratulations on getting one year closer to achieving the amazing goal of being able to rent a car - it's obviously something dear to your heart. I'm thrilled to bits for you!

    So, if you only manage one review a month, this means we can all be looking forward to another 12 The Mike Specials by this time next year, hopefully followed by a review of a new fm entitled, 'Garrett rents a car'. Marvellous!

    And my thanks also to all the other reviewers I've neglected to thank recently. This is a fantastic thread - great for re-reading in the middle of the night when you can't sleep.

  24. #1149
    Member
    Registered: Aug 2006
    Location: Great. Now I can't get back in
    Quote Originally Posted by nickie View Post
    This is a fantastic thread - great for re-reading in the middle of the night when you can't sleep.
    Are you saying they're so boring they cure insomnia?

    Oh - forgot before - Happy Birthday, The Mike (there's some dash!)

  25. #1150
    Moderator
    Registered: Apr 2003
    Location: Wales
    Ooops - it wasn't meant to sound like that!

    I also re-read the 'Who Are You? thread as well. And no! That's not boring either.

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