Ahhh, a nice fresh thread, lacking the stench of the undead...well its about time I fix it!
LITOQ 2
Act: I (1, for all those taffers who are uneducated in the ways of roman numerals.)
The Meaning of Death:
Our two favorite Haunts; Haunt 1 and Haunt 2, have once again been restored to their peaceful states, free of evil gemstones, Foolsters, brawls, Hauntesses, naked dwarves, mass zombie congo dances and the like. They spend another quiet afternoon watching over their sacred resting place, the haunted cathedral, keeping it safe from harm such as imposters or evil thieves. Undead Benny and Murus talk of future plans for the cathedral. Haunt 1 meets up with Haunt 2 on their nightly patrol route.
Haunt 2- Why do we have zombies?
Haunt 1- What dost thou mean brother?
Haunt 2- Well its called the "haunt"ed cathedral not the "zombie"ed cathedral. And besides they are so slow and all they do is groan and complain.
Haunt 1- We need some form of lower class undead right? And the zombies fill that roll. Besides zombies are easily made so they are our disposable army. They both laugh.
Haunt 2- Why has there been such an influx of zombies all of a sudden though?
Haunt 1- I hear that there's this guy...what's his name? Oh yah! Karrots!
Haunt 2- He's been taking over the living right?
Haunt 1- Yes, but he's killing most of them and then we get all the zombies.
Haunt 2- But why not haunts?
Haunt 1- Don't you remember? A zombie just has to decompose for a long time and all their skin must fall off and decay completely to become a haunt. But most zombies don't live long enough, err die long enough to get to haunt status.
Haunt 2- I don't remember being a zombie!
Haunt 1- That's because once you go through haunt innitiation you forget all your past zombie years.
Haunt 2- What about aparations?
Haunt 1- That's what you become if your body was totally disintigrated so that none of it could be used in your afterlife.
Haunt 2- Oh I get it now! But what happens to burricks and craymen when they die?
Haunt 1- That's a whole different act in itself.
Meanwhile Benny and Murus are having a conversation in the main room of the cathedral. Benny is wearing a shirt that says, "Life's fun, then you die. Then its even more fun."
Benny- Aresh we gonna have another partysh?
Murus- Benny, we just had a party!
Benny- Ohsh, I forgot. Wash it funsh?
Murus- Well you should remember, you were dancing on the broken tables with some zombie girls when you passed out in the unholy punch bowl!
Benny- That wash fun!
Murus- And you spilt mead all over the carpets again. The next time a thief comes he's gonna turn right back around and leave after taking one whif of this place. I'm lucky I have no nasal glands else I'd die if I weren't dead already.
Benny- What wash dat again?
Murus- Oh, never mind.
Suddenly a bomb flies through a window and explodes on Benny
Benny- Flamesh Flamesh, nothing but Flamesh!!
In the cunfusion a big metal beast breaks through the front doors and takes Benny, along with a few zombies. Murus finally comes into consciousness and realizes what has happened, he runs to the two haunts.
Murus- Haunts, we need your help! One of Karrots' metal beasts hase taken Benny and a few zombies!
Haunt 1- Oh no! He's run out of the living so he's turned to the undead! He's gonna make slaves out of them!
Haunt 2- What will we DOOOOOOooooooo?
Haunt 1- We must go after them!
Haunt 2- Well at least something excyting is happening, I was getting tired of harassing burricks for lack of anying better to do.
The two Haunts depart in a hury. Meanwhile, on a mountain top far away Benny is in a torture chamber surrounded by robots and Karrots himself.
Karrots- I remember you were a guard belonging to sheriff Stewart. His loss shall be yours now! I will commense to- All of a sudden a small robot interrupts
Small robot- Please be warned, thy undead soul: Thou shalt hear the words of Karrot's, the-
Benny throws up all over the robot and it shuts down.
Karrots- Look what you did to one of my beautiful creations! Now you shall suffer!
Beny is placed on one of those stretcher devices.
Benny- *HIC* This ish fun!! Pullsh harder! Pullsh harder!
Karrots- I get the feeling this isn't working like it's supposed to! Someone will pay for this disgrace!
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What will happen to Benny? How will Karrots torture him next? Will Haunts 1 and 2 make it in time? Does a few zombies really make a difference? And why in the world did Haunt 2 harass the poor burricks in the first place?
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Co-writer and pic-master of LITOQ! (Life In The Old Quarter)
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MOC2 a.k.a. Revenge
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Marecki 
