Re: 2006:-
!!
Drags this list kicking and screaming out of retirement
2022) You become so immersed in Thief that when someone comes up behind you and calls out your name, you jump 3 feet out of your chair and nearly have a heart attack
2023) You cringe in disgust whenever you see one of those Brinks home security systems commercials on TV
2024) You read a sign that says "Beware of vicious dog", and you think to yourself "why don't those idiots get a burrick instead?"
Whilst taking a break from playing thief because your eyes have started bleeding again, you jump between the various thief forums waiting for people to post replies to topics that you actually have no interest in, just to get a vaguely thiefy 'fix'
2025: You've spent several weeks learning how to hack so you can get at Thief III
2026: You've built a teepee out of flares.
2027: You've built your own Children of Karras...
2028: and burned your house down.
--Shard
2029. You see a security guard wandering around an office building and ask him "Lost your sword?"
2030. You feel that every day should start with a briefing (and Saturdays should start with a cut-scene).
2031. You feel the need to press F11 whenever you've just accomplished something challenging in your life.
2032. You steal cookies from other members of TTLG.
The only creatures who can survive outside the polis are beasts and gods -Aristotle
2033) In addition to #2031, you don't worry about screwing anything up anymore cause you can always just hit the F12 key to turn back time
2034) You attempt to swallow an entire deer leg whole
2035) You patiently wait 30 hours while that 322 mb FM downloads (it was most certainly worth it)
2036) You write a Thief parody called "Kleptomaniac: The Not-So-Bright Project" with lots of inside jokes and allusions in it.
2037) You experience Thief-related deja-vu.
2038) You talk backwards.
Kleptomaniac: The Not-So-Bright Project (All chapters)
2039) You're at a party at the house of some relatives. The party sucks so you just crumple into a seat... until you notice a diamond ring. An evil expression appears on your face as you remember that this type of ring gives 100 loot, and your right hand with its fingers streched out greedily approaches the ring, you're about to say "Since I'm in here I might as well pickup something for myself .
Someone walks up behind you. Scared half to death you throw an imaginary flashbomb at their feet and bonk them with your glass of juice. When they look back puzzled at you, a cloud of dust covers your hasty retreat... whilst holding the ring.
Hey Thiefsie, that one actually made me laugh
Thanx
2040) Your uncle is on a visit at your house. As usual you're playing TDP, ( NOTE: You're very fond of Hammerites and their specific speech and there's an inverted red hammer on the side of your door so no "novices" will bother you whilst playing )
When your cousin silently opens the door, sneaks up on you and starts inspecting your Thief CD carcass you brutally rip it out of his hands and shout: WHAT ART THOU DOING?! SAAYYYY WHO ART THOU!!! AHHHHHH!! A SPY! MAY THE HAMMER OF RIGHTEOUSNESS FALL HEAVENLY UPON THEE!!! and then call your pet cat and say: SWING WITH ME BROTHER! AND END THIS VILLAIN's LIFE!!!!!!!!!
2041) You conduct experiments to determine the probability of being healed by a piece of food (I'm guilty of that)
2042) You've memorized the loot totals for every Thief mission ever created at every difficulty level
2043) You enter the Hammerite temple in Undercover and leave your computer running for 3 years straight to see if Garrett really gets promoted to "elevated acolyte"
2044) You realise that you stand to one side as you open a door so that if there's someone on the other side they won't see you straight away
2045) You realise that you also stand to on side as you open any box or other kind of lid, in case it's trapped
[taffercode] 1d+++1g+++2++3?H+++M++N+R+T+++U+++Z++G++L+O=P++Q=I++K+A+++B+++D+++X+++
J+S=W++Y+C++(MBOP)E+F++V++SWRD+++RTRN+++ESC+++COUR++BLUD++SABO++[/taffercode]
Haze, Head Psychologist and Lagologologist, Clan Foofie! We are the party!
# 710 is really a great one
Yeah, but also 45 and 50 are pretty cool. Try adding the whole piece of the trickster's chant in 50: It' so hilarious: OPEN FOR ME! OPEN MY "WAY" OPEN MY "PATH"OPEN FOR MEE!!
OPEN!!!!!....
2046) Although you own the fastest machine money can buy, you play in 640x480 because it saves a few seconds when loading the game or switching to the map.
Originally posted by Thiefsie Fool
OPEN MY "WAY" OPEN MY "PATH"
2047) You think that ultimate ghost mode is too wimpy, so you invent a new style of play: the "I'm so addicted to this game that I actually think I'm Garrett mode". In this mode, whatever damage Garrett takes, you must inflict upon yourself. Garrett gets whacked by a Hammerite? Take that hammer out of your tool chest and whack yourself on the head as hard as you can. Garrett takes falling damage? You must jump from the exact same height that he fell from (and no bending your knees when you land!) Garrett gets SHAS? You must go to Wendy's and eat 8 double cheddar lovers bacon cheeseburgers so that you, too, have a heart attack.
Originally posted by graywolf
2047) You think that ultimate ghost mode is too wimpy, so you invent a new style of play: the "I'm so addicted to this game that I actually think I'm Garrett mode". In this mode, whatever damage Garrett takes, you must inflict upon yourself. Garrett gets whacked by a Hammerite? Take that hammer out of your tool chest and whack yourself on the head as hard as you can. Garrett takes falling damage? You must jump from the exact same height that he fell from (and no bending your knees when you land!) Garrett gets SHAS? You must go to Wendy's and eat 8 double cheddar lovers bacon cheeseburgers so that you, too, have a heart attack.
-Burt
/me for president
2047) As an addition to Garrett Mode you buy one of those compact conveyor belts so that whilst playing you can run or walk whenever Garrett does in the game.
GREAT FOR WEIGHT LOSS ! LIMITED EDITION !
2048: Objects really do light up in the world when you look at them.
Our eyes left the chamber for but a moment, and when next we turned...the sword was gone...
2049. You buy a plethora of arrows, mines and potions, find a black outfit (upon which you write the name GARROTTE in big black letters), rip out your eye and replace it with a metal one, build a time machine which allows you to reach the Thief world, knock out Garrett, then you stroll over to the nearest Keeper compound and shout "Did somebody say Master Thief??!!!)
The only creatures who can survive outside the polis are beasts and gods -Aristotle
2050) You're still checking out this post!
2051) You have the uncanny knack to smash all banners, posters and just everything that hangs on the wall to see whether there are any secret passages hidden behind them.
2052) You gave up that habit because of your experience with something that looked like a secret switch to you but was in fact some Mechanist thingy called a socket.
2053) You creep on the top of the Eiffel tower on midnight with a chicken egg, jump down, and just before you hit the ground, you throw the egg under your feet, saying "Now I KNOW I am a master thief!"
2054) You actually land softly on a confused chicken.
2055) You have cut yourself and went to the chemist's to ask for a healing potion.
2056) You fall out of the window, breaking your leg, but still look happy thinking "had I played on Expert, I'd be dead. Thanks, Builder!"
2057) You are afraid to look out of the window due to high poly counts.
2058) You usually go shopping Lytha style.
2059) You are honored when Queen Elizabeth herself decides to give you a tour of Buckingham Palace. When she shows you the throne room you remark, "How pretentious can you get?"
2060) She is so offended by that remark that she orders the guards to push you off the top of the palace. As you are falling to your death, you calmly comment, "It's a long way down."
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