1000 clues that you have been playing thief way to much ...

[Keeper Lucien]

2060) you lure your cat into a corner and try to blackjack it whit a stuffed sock

[Keeper Lucien]

oops forgot 1


2061) you make your own hammerite clothes

i have a Hammerite T-shirt for real and a red hammerite undrwear whit small black hammers on it made it at skool

[graywolf]

2062) You read the first post on page 3 of this thread, and laugh your ass off for about 10 minutes. (ok, maybe that should be under "1000 clues that you're going insane")

[Theef]

Because your Thief addiction is seeping its way into your day-to-day reality because T3 is essentially a pipe dream, you get yourself a recurve bow on E-Bay.

"Th-there's someone over here! H-he's got a bow!"

-Theef

[Shard]

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SOMEBODY KILL IT!!!

This really is the post that will not die! Let's go for 3000!

2064?) Every time you watch the movie where Viktoria dies, you start sobbing uncontrollably

2065) As you finish Thief II for the umpteenth time, you decide that it's finally time to stop. You try to quit out of Thief, then you remember that you set it up so quitting thief shuts down your comp. So you try to take out the CD. But you glued that shut a year ago. After several minutes of pondering the meaning of life, you start up T: DP again.

2066) You successfully convince your English teacher that the story arc in the Thief series is one of the finest pieces of American Literature -ever-

2067) Your parents put you in an insane asylum when they tried to turn off Thief, and you tried to kill them.

2068) Your heartbeat quickens when you hear anything reminding you of Thief. (true )

2069) Your online nicknames/handles/IDs have been: Thief, TheThief, Garrett, Viktoria, Karras, Constantine, TheTrickster, Hammerite, TheDarkThief, Theef, TheTheef, ThIeF, tHiEf, Thiefsie, Sneaksie, Keeper, aKeeper, KarathDin as well as every other possible combo of the Thief characters/monsters/levels/items and quotes.

2070) You can recite every quote from the game, with such skill that a voice print comparison yields minor differences. (yes, yes, scraping the bottom of the barrel, but come on! 3K!)

--Shard!

[Deiyen]

My fucking god!!

This thread was started February 12, 1999 11:40 AM

It's been 3 years!!! AAAAAAAH!!

2071) You come back after about a year to see that this thread is still going. You realize that you once participated in it and go searching in the almost 20 pages of the thread.
2072) You get all nostalgic because you recognize so many familiar names that you never seen on the forums anymore.
2073) You want to clean up this entire thread to save in a Word file... only to find out that it's too big.

[TF]

2073) You walk around your neighborhood at night wearing a red t-shirt with:
HEMMMARAIT written on it, bucket on your head, carrying a hammer and humming hammerite tunes and occasionaly scripture.
2074) You make your own triangle and square toothed lockpicks.
True story: I carved them out of wood, the triangle one out of some more white wood I found around at my grandparents' house and the square one from some darker wood so they'd look just like the ones in the game. Although I knew they wouldn't work, that didn't stop me from jamming them in every lock from the house .
HINT: Try adding wood gel to the lockpicks, they look a lot better that way.

[Valkyre]

Despite your best intentions, you find you are having sexual fantasies about Viktoria.

[TF]

2075) I remember once, there was a power outage at school and it was dark outside so it was pretty dark in the class too but the principal and all the teachers were scumm so they didn't let us go home, instead they just stood there at their desk and allowed us to chat with each other. Looked like the time was right for a little thief-taffing around. So I tied the shoelaces of about half the class one to each other and they didn't notice me. Good for some laughs later when half of them stumbled down .
2076) There wasn't any chalk in my class so I sneaked to the locker from the other class which had hours before us, and tried to lockpick it with some pins. I managed to make the lock twitch a bit but it didn't open.. Any of you know how to lockpick in real life?

[Deiyen]

I know how, but I can't do it. I've tried, heh. Depends on the lock too. I have a friend who says she can.

[Shard]

http://www.textfiles.com/anarchy/LOCKPICKING/



--Shard

[The Cloaked Wolf]

#2077

You watch Star Wars II, and during the scene in which Padme is dodging and avoiding various contraptions on the construction belt you *immediately* get flashbacks of a similar plight YOU had to pace during the finale board of T2 in a certain area.


#2078

You immediately imagine a keyboard at your fingertips while doing so.


#2079

You catch yourself briefly judging Padme's movements and judgement against your own had you been doing the maneuvers instead of her...


#2080

...and you FINALLY end up thinking to yourself, "Hey, I would *NEVER* had ended up trapped like SHE did!"


#2081

You suddenly briefly wonder why she just didn't quickly reload her game instead.



(In case you're wondering: the first of these happened to me while watching the movie, the rest is just nonsense. )

[Illuminatus]

LOL @ The cloaked Wolf!

[The True Taffer]

2082) You ritually attempt a stunt known as "Being Sneaky" when you flip over a couch and land in a crouched position on the floor, looking around to see if you've been detected

2083) You hit your foot on a piece of furniture EVERY time you try to "Be Sneaky"

2084) Regardless, you still try to successfully "Be Sneaky"

[w_hairst]

Back to the top, you taffer!

Here's a contribution from me, a newbie here:

(2085) While getting dressed up for a fancy party, you are reminded of Calendra's Cistern. (guilty)

(2086) You can pee quietly. (guilty)

(2087) You choose your shoes based on how quiet they are to run in. (Converse All-Stars work the best.)

(2088) You actually read all the preceding posts, and not just so you wouldn't repeat anyone. (guilty)

(2089) With great depression, you realize you've spent more time reading this list in the past few days than you have playing Thief.

(2090) You start to consider Thief your "night job".

(2091) You successfully sneak up behind people, only to intentionally drag your feet at the last second to avoid having them make a hole in the ceiling. (guilty)

(2092) With great relief, you realize there are people who are actually more obsessed than you are... and go play some more.

(2093) Even after the 2000+ submissions, you are still coming up with more. (guilty)

(2094) Your room is so messy, you can barely see the carpet, but you can STILL move across it silently.

(2095) Your goal is to beat all the FMs (in English, anyway) for T:TDP. (guilty)

(2096) And you've gotten a good start. (guilty)

(2097) Your idea of a fun evening with your SO is the Thief 2 demo. (guilty)

[Cypher628]

2098: This thread actually makes(made) it past 1000!?!?!?

[Baccus]

2099: You read the ThiefGen forum so much that you know that its forumid is "83"

[TheShadowThatMoved]

2100:You guys actually posted and read all this(and are still alive?)...

[Fighter]

When youve read all 2100 of these and still cant get enough theif

[Campus_thief]

2102: You use DromEd to insert all the posts in this thread into a book in Lord Bafford's collection.

2103: you reread all the previous posts because you're not sure if you missed one. (True story)

2104: You assemble all the scriptures, quotes from guards, and books, into one big book of "Hammers to Mechanists, a taffer's guide."



P.S. does anyone have info on the Taffernomicon?

[Spyrano]

2105: You are diagnosed as mentally ill

[Xious]

2106: If you see people walking around with their arms up, you think that they have the Dark Engine memory saving bug.

[Fighter]

2107: You spend every second you can thinking or playing something to do with the Thief series. This includes:

Becoming a thief
Playing Thief
Thinking of Thief
Sign up to every thing you can to do with Thief
Sneaking around your house (mum wondering where you have been the past few months)

My list could go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on......................................... and on

[mfeuti]

>> 2059: You're not invited to the family reunions anymore because your aunt is tired of fishing you out of the well.

>>2060: Your wife storms off after you tell her that she's not frobbing the secret spot correctly...

[sailoreagle]

2010: You spend hours on each mission, collecting everything that can be found in it and climbing everywhere possible. Oh, and pointing out all bugs and strange things, too.
2011: Two words: "crate stairway".