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Thread: 1000 clues that you have been playing thief way to much ...

  1. #1101
    Registered: Jun 2005
    2422 : You have an imaginary friend called Garrett but no-one , not even you can see him. The only way you can tell that hes there is if a shadow laughs at you mockingly...

    2423 : You're house is haunted . But, whenever you see shadowy things out of the corner of your eye or hear whispers, you just mutter to yourself " Damn Keepers!...."

  2. #1102
    Registered: Jun 2006
    Location: canaustralia
    2424 (nice number!)

    Your (rather pale looking) niece asks you for a glass of milk and you tell her to BURN HER OWN DAMN NIGHTGOWN/DIARY YOU NEEDY BITCH!

  3. #1103
    Registered: Nov 2005
    2425: When you are pregnant (or your wife/girlfriend) and you hope it will be a boy so you can call him Garret. You are desperate, because you can't figure out a female version of Garret.

    2426: You bought miniature lock picks for your child to make sure it can pick a lock faster than anybody else (before it can walk).

  4. #1104
    Registered: Jul 2004
    Location: South Quarter
    2426: You phone the bluecoats and claim a woman called marla is stalking you, then hang up because you realise you hate the bluecoats and that marla isn't half bad... hey your face is hideously scarred, beggars (thieves rather) can't be choosers...

    2427: You cover your whole house in carpet, the cheapest fluffiest one you can find in IKEA

    2428: That's right, even the walls

    2429: You get dirt in your one good eye and refuse first aid, but instead ask for the builder's aid

    2430: You carve arrows out of everyday items and try to attach pieces of string, moss, and plastic vials of water to cut costs

    2431: When you get drunk you tell everyone your name is Benny....

    2432: You quote your logictech webcam and claim you modified a scouting orb

    2433: You lift up the shirts of the people in front of you in the queue, just to make sure they don't have the key..... Lindsay Lohan is conveniently in the queue

    2434: You insist on holding a sword while playing basketball indoors

    2435: You accidentally drop your mum's vase and say the word "reload"

    2436: You blackjack your cat sleeping in front of the fire, for no discernable reason.

    2437: You only bathe in other peoples houses, standing up, and fully dressed in clothes you never change. You SAY you're looking for limescale, but we both know the truth, you're looking for the switch...

    2438: When you visit the toilet, you never quite make it, you open the door, realise its just a toilet and turn and leave, upon which your imaginary friend Basso pushes you in because he won't clean the sofa anymore. Nope, it isnt "mead on the rug".....

    2439: You refuse to pick up plates without a gold rim

    2440: You lock up your trinkets in all manner of cases because you need the extra practice

    2441: You make a grammophone order, purchasing 15 fire hazard stickers which you dot around the house after exchanging gas lights for candles

    2442: Your "fire damage" premiums rise to double the cost of your rent after you consistently knock at least one candle over while leaning to hang a poster of bafford's daughter. Remember the floor is carpet....

    2443: You purchase a 15% share in McTaffreys fine ale with your loot, as the bank with no longer accept your custom.

    2444: When visiting a museum, you are confined in the giftshop for the duration of the tour, they say for "health and safety" reasons..... you try and tell them the Taciturn lady is a fake, but they shut the door in your face. Some people are so rude.

    2445: You steal that really neat pencil from the giftshop so the day isn't a TOTAL waste.You know the one, with a dinosaur on the end as an eraser you've always wanted but could never quite afford, due to Mr Wicket's perception of the inflation rate....

    2446: When you share the details of your conquests with the lads, you quote a girl called Victoria who you met while campaigning to save the rainforest.

    2447: You wont attempt to take your daughter from the cot, claiming the cradle won't let her leave

  5. #1105
    Registered: May 2006
    Location: The Police Academy
    My worst one with regards to videogames is Splinter Cell. Whenever I see a security camera nowadays, I feel like shooting the bugger out.

  6. #1106
    Registered: Jul 2004
    Location: South Quarter
    I can't imagine anyone wanting to keep them around lol, i cant stand them, I didn't love fire arrows until I discovered their anti camera purpose, shame they make so much noise! The most annoying thing ever is destroying a camera, and realising the switch was in the next room, so you alerted the guards and wasted a damn good arrow for nothing lol. Apart from the fact cameras kinda ruin the whole element of thief, im glad they were absent in TDS. TTMA just introduced some crazy crap we could have done without IMO. Just played through it again today, I think my fave must be ambush, it at least gives you the chance to explore a city :-)

  7. #1107
    Permanently Enlarged
    Registered: Dec 2005
    Location: I could care...but I won't.
    #2448: Youve played soo much that when you hear a zombie behind you, you DONT nearly shit yourself.

    #2449: When your girlfriends parents wont let her go out on a date with you, you break into thier house and break her out for a night on the town .

    #2450: You actually go into the local police station and try to frame the cop that gave you a speeding ticket earlier in the week for robbing the evidence vault.

    #2451: When you submit your plans for your new house, you use DromEd instead of graph paper, a compass, and a pencil.

    #2452: And the afforementioned plans include a multitude of secret buttons and passageways that only you would know of so you can more securly stash your loot.

    #2453: You start looking around your new apartment for a hidden switch in your closet so you can get to your secret equipment stash.

  8. #1108
    Registered: Jun 2006
    #2454 You DELIBERATELY ressurect a zombie that has been dead for a week.... oops, I mean a 1000 clues thread.

    #2455 You're NOT surprised by the fact that there are 2453 clues already

    #2456 Every time you see a cobblestone wall, you try to judge how difficult it would be to climb

    #2457 You've been arrested for vandalism because you
    a) Started hacking at the plants in the local park
    b) Went on a rampage at the local sculpture museum and started smashing statues with your baseball bat....

    #2458 You delibaretly replay the most disturbing/exciting cutscenes before going to sleep so you get thief dreams...

    #2458 ...and as a result don't get any sleep at all!....

    #2459 ...because just before going to finally turn off the computer, your willpower vanished and you started playing Thief.

    #2460 You actually counted how many times glowing mushroom tea has been mentioned during the previous 2453 posts

    #2461 When the electricity shuts down during a storm, you gasp that the dark age has come...

    #2462 ...and hastily do a city tour through the rain, starting with the museum and ending with the local fountain...
    #2463...but just before reaching the fountain, you realise you LIKE the dark age and start robbing people

    #2464 You're SO into stereotypes that you're shocked to find your girlfriend Vicky doesn't like the plant you gave her as a gift

    #2465 After catching a thief breaking into your house at night, you're so dissappointed it isn't Garrett come to date you that you kill him...

    #2466 ...but not before you tie him up, drag him to the cellar and spend three hours lecturing him about all the mistakes he made as a thief!

    #2467 You add phosphor to your mushroom tea...

    #2468 Just for the heck of it, you mention mushrooms despite having written clue #2460
    Last edited by Poison Ivy; 23rd Jun 2006 at 15:49.

  9. #1109
    Registered: Nov 2005
    #2465 & #2466 ... LOL

    #2469: You are somewhere outside and you see something in the distance. You try to zoom in and you wonder why your eye isn't working....
    What's with the hood?

  10. #1110
    New Member
    Registered: Aug 2005
    Location: U$ of A
    #2470 - You have spent 19.6 Hours beating all four Theif Games (TDP and Gold count as 1 each), without using a single save or load on expert.

    #2471 - 15.4 on Normal.

    #2472 - 13.3 on Easy.

    #2473 - You take out $1,239.00 out of your savings account to buy Thief: TDP for 142 people. You Proceed to take out $7,132,856 more to pay lawyers due 142 lawsuits. 142 deaths were caused because people did not leave their computers for food or water.

    #2474 - You design countless D&D and AD&D Garrett characters, and theif Missions. You then laugh when the Warrior and Mage get their ass beaten by the Hammerite gaurds, as you sneak past and grab the loot.

    #2475 - You skip your wedding to play Deadly Shadows, which just came out.

    #2476 - Your entire iPod (all 60 Gigs of it) is either: Thief Songs, Thief Videos, or Thief Pics.

    #2477 - You name your dog " Ol' Benny "

    #2478 - You get angry when in Counter-Strike you knife someone very stealthily to kill them, but the extra yelling sound doesnt come.

    #2479 - You made your own mod for Morrowind, that was a very large Thief level.

    #2480 - You contribute 10 ORIGINAL items to this list, you know because you have read all 2479, 45 pages worth, of facts.

    #2481 - When the forums weren't working last night, you saved your work to a notepad document, and reposted the first second you could the next day.

  11. #1111
    Registered: Nov 2005
    #2482: You post in a thief thread that was started almost 7 years ago.

    #2483: After talking to your familiy your doctor is considering to write a paper about a new medical condition called "Thievery". Symptoms: over 2482 and counting.

    #2484: You started a site on myspace dedicated to Thief.
    Last edited by assassine; 29th Jun 2006 at 16:56.
    What's with the hood?

  12. #1112
    Voice Actor
    Registered: Nov 2004
    Location: South Korea
    This thread was supposed to be about stuff you actually do, not stuff you'd like to do, stuff that would get you arrested so you don't do it, or stuff that's physically impossible. Frankly, I'm skeptical of some of these claims. In the interest of getting back to reality about our reaction to fiction, and because I just got the pictures back, here is one with photographic evidence.

    #2483: You learn metalworking skills so you can make your own loot:


  13. #1113
    Registered: Jan 1999
    Location: Same place as the lost pens
    #2484 You are concerned that you haven't posted in a thread that has been around for 7 year and so consider posting just so as not to feel left out...
    #2485 You run a search and find you did contribute... twice... seven years and 2429 posts ago!

  14. #1114
    Registered: Nov 2005
    Location: Follow the mobius-strip road
    #2486 Life is meaningless, you worship Thief instead.

  15. #1115
    Registered: Nov 2005
    This really happend (last night):

    #2487 Your phone rings at ~9 p.m. You have to quit playing Thief (what else) to answer. You hear: "Hi, this is Garrett calling from..." You are so surprised that you hang up.

    Yep... all the question I had... and I didn't ask... what a disappointment... Well, I don't think the telemarketer could have answered them anyways...
    What's with the hood?

  16. #1116
    Permanently Enlarged
    Registered: Dec 2005
    Location: I could care...but I won't.

    #2488: You start editing T1/G/2/3 maps and placing tons of enemies EVERYWHERE! (Haunts are my favorite! ) Just so you can watch as the Hammers, Pagans, and Guards/Robots try thier damndest to kill all of them, to no avail, ending up getting pwned horrendously.

    #2489: You try to add some of the T1/G/2 things to T3, only to find that either your coding or 3D art skills SUCK!

    #2490: You try many times (in vain) to edit the surfaces a rope/vine arrow will stick into so you can shove them into stone walls and have fun leaping about like an angry gorilla on crack.

  17. #1117
    New Member
    Registered: Jan 2006
    Location: B-more
    #2491: You dress up as Viktoria for Halloween. Seriously, I got my friends to do my makeup and draw vines all over me with permanent marker. I may get some form of ink poisoning… but we all must make sacrifices for the things we love.

    #2492: You are determined to come up with a better, non mediocre Viktoria costume for next Halloween because this you threw this one together in about two days.

  18. #1118
    Registered: Jan 2001
    Location: Tucson, AZ
    #2493: You promise to go shopping with your fiancee in the most bizarre stores if she promises in return to play through all the games at least once.

    #2494: Your new fetish involves your fiancee to chain you to the bed and read and commit acts from The Hammer Naughty Book of Tenets.

    #2495: You go to San Francisco on business and look out your window and compare the rooftops to how The City looks so similar....and you wish to take the thieves highway yourself.

    #2496: You name your three cats Garrett, Constantine, and Viktoria.

    #2497: You plan on dressing up as Garrett for your Reinassance Fair wedding.

    #2498: Whenever you offer some beer or liquor to your brother, you say "A refreshment, Mr. (fill in name)?"

    #2499: You go to Bunny Ranch for fun and to help your favorite bunny complete Deadly Shadows on the XBox.

    #2500: You decide to post up to 2500 at 1:30 in the morning because you slept from 2-12 on your day off and finally remembered your taffin' password so you could get in on this shiz.

  19. #1119
    Registered: Jun 1999
    Location: San Diego, CA
    2501 You visit this list in 2006 for a game that started in 1998.

  20. #1120
    Registered: Sep 2005
    Location: Not Kansas
    #2502: You revisit this thread every time you see there's a new post and vow to go back & start reading all the posts from the beginning the next time you have several hours to waste.

    God I love this place!!

  21. #1121
    Registered: Jul 2006
    Location: Betwixt and Between
    #2503--Instead of money, your son and/or daughter gets a weekly amount of loot.

  22. #1122
    New Member
    Registered: Jul 2006
    Wow I cannot believe this thread is still going.

  23. #1123
    Voice Actor
    Registered: Nov 2004
    Location: South Korea
    The things that make us (Thief fans) different (from the rest of the world) is what brings us together. This thread is the nexus for those differences.

    Or something like that.


  24. #1124
    Permanently Enlarged
    Registered: Dec 2005
    Location: I could care...but I won't.
    #2504 : You attempt to find 3D modelling and coding software so you can make your OWN Theify game, only to find that all the shit you would need would cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $1000. (And I personally have tried this, to no avail.)

    #2505 : You put Thief quotes in your siggy on every forum you sign on to.

    #2506 : You pray that Eidos lasts just long enough so you can get a game design buisness underway and buy those pesky Thief rights and do Thief they way it should be done.

    #2507 : You start successfully implementing stealth into games that have no inherent stealth capability.

    #2508 : You attempt bashing doors down with a weapon in many other games beside Thief, and find that it works in some of the Ultima series, along with a few others..

  25. #1125
    Registered: Jun 2006
    Location: England (UK)
    I hope this hasn't been done...

    #2509 : You start having strange Thief-style nightmares in which you are being surrounded by zombies. As they start attacking and you're about to throw your vials of holy water, you suddenly find yourself awake with a once-full glass of water.

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