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Thread: What's the funniest thing in Oblivion?

  1. #26
    Member
    Registered: Jul 2008
    Location: Bulgaria,Burgas
    Well killing the adoring fan was funny especially when using some mods like deadly reflex.

  2. #27
    Member
    Registered: Apr 2006
    Location: Melbourne, Australia
    Does Shivering Isles count because Sheogorath has the most hilarious dialogue.
    "I once dug a pit and filled it with clouds or was it clowns....No I'm pretty sure it was clowns, Clouds don't smell. They taste like butter and tears."

    and

    "I'm so happy that I could rip out your intestines and strangle you with them"

  3. #28
    Member
    Registered: Nov 2004
    Location: Mu
    If we're going to talk about SI them we need to include Sheo's butler Haskill. His version of the stuffy butler schtick is hilarious.

  4. #29
    Member
    Registered: Feb 1999
    I think for me, the most funny thing in Oblivion is the effect of a short but powerful "Control Humanoid" cast on a member of an angry group of hostiles.

    Though... charming a guard for the "looks like you are in some trouble. Since we're friends, I'll look the other way and pay your fine for you."-effect is a close up.

    And in my current game, I'm having fun convincing the Mythic Dawn sleeper agents that they do not really want to murder me. By sneaking into their houses at night, charming them, speechcrafting them, speechcrafting them some more. It's hilarious when an Eugal Belette or Else God-Hater then deliver the "I'm so scared of that oblivion gate outside our city's walls!"-lines.

  5. #30
    Member
    Registered: Sep 2005
    Location: Not Kansas
    I'm playing Oblivion for the 2nd time & once again have reloaded the companion mods, Legolas & Aragorn. I didn't reload Gimli because last time that companion mod proved to be too hot-headed and ended up picking fights with characters that were supposed to be friendly! Caused me no small amount of trouble, that dwarf did!

    This time around I realized (a little belatedly) that the Legolas character is a 'Light-Fingered Louie', in that after every fight I now have to search him because he steals the weapons of the enemies he's slain. (And they're 'marked' with the red hand (stolen goods) in his inventory!) The first time I searched Legolas' inventory & found a bunch of stolen weapons I was standing on the main street of the Imperial City Marketplace District. After I'd transfered the stolen weapons to my inventory I then proceeded to try to drop them onto the street to get rid of them. Bad call! The minute I dropped the first stolen weapon onto the street a guard showed up & tried to arrest me. After that I made sure that either we were in deserted areas before I started getting rid of Legolas' stolen goods, or that I could 'transfer' them into somebody else's cupboard or wardrobe!

    I also tried the 'createfullactorcopy' on my horse after it was inadvertently killed in a melee, but that kind of backfired since the copy-horse was totally berserk and Legolas & Aragorn ended up just killing it all over again.

  6. #31
    Member
    Registered: Dec 2004
    Location: Germany

    Quote Originally Posted by Dia View Post
    I realized (a little belatedly) that the Legolas character is a 'Light-Fingered Louie', in that after every fight I now have to search him because he steals the weapons of the enemies he's slain.
    I'm not playing with mods, I'll leave that for later. But have you tried to fill Legolas' pockets up to the point where he can't carry anything else? Maybe he'd stop pilfering the deceased, then?

    Meanwhile, I've encountered more funny things in Oblivion. The strange poses of some people who just died are still my favourites, though. Killing a female human or Elf with a stab from a small dagger once resulted in her being thrown across the whole room and landing in an absurd pose between a drawer and a desk. Her head was lying on the table, resting on the chin, while the tips of her feet were behind her, on top of the drawer, and the rest of the body was hanging belly-down between the furniture, almost U-shaped. Reminds me of these hanging bridges found in both Morrowind and Oblivion.

    Another favourite of mine is a dead Skamp hanging from a bridge, with only the tip of his tail still being on the bridge. Everything else is already hanging down and waiting for the tail to join. It's the already dead Skamp one encounters frequently on a broken bridge in the Planes of Oblivion. Try to push his body off the bridge and you'll likely have a hanging Skamp suspended only by the tip of his tail, failing to fall down.

    Then there was an encounter with two Daedroth creatures I defeated. Their bodies somehow fell into each other after death, resulting in some kind of Siamese twin, a creature with two heads, four legs and four arms. I could not separate them, which I tried in order to get loot from them. (And by the way, sometimes an attacking Daedroth produces a sound very remniscient of a farting human. Some kind of poison spell, eh?)

    Some hours later I had a similar problem with my horse. It had become partially embedded into another horse at the stables, producing some cross-shaped monstrosity, and it took me a while until I could ride my horse away from the other one.

    Another story involving my horse took place when we encountered a bandit. The horse attacked the unlucky bandit and trampled on his body afterwards, while I tried to loot the dead. "Hey horsey, nice kill you did there. But would you step off him now? I'd like to get stuff off that idiot there, you know."

    And just yesterday I met a Xivilai on a bridge over some kind of lava lake, and of course he fell off the bridge after a few hits. But instead of walking out of the lake, which should have been possible in time even if he walked instead of running, Mr. Xivilai kept himself busy with summoning Clannfears, which then went down almost instantly because they appeared in the lava next to him. After some time, the Xivilai was roasted to death as well.

    Sometimes, I really have fun with all these carefully filled tables. Jumping onto them again and again and sending all the plates and food flying into various directions never even gets me a strange look from the innkeeper or whoever is standing just next to the scene. But of course, as soon as I grab one piece of this precious stuff and throw it around, he yells for the guards 'cause he thinks I'm stealing his stuff.

    Apart from all that, there's much fun with dialogues, of course. Like all that enthusiastic "I can teach you a lot"-stuff from all these trainers around there, to which I'd like to say, "Or maybe not", especially if we're speaking of a skill where I am already a master, and they're not.

    Then there was a servant's response saying "My master has gone away now, hunting for supper." - "Oh yeah? What about this guy there, less than one meter away, who looks exactly like your master, huh? He's been in here for at least ten minutes, and you have actually just spoken to him a minute ago."

    And everyone talking about my heroic closing of the Kvatch Oblivion gate somehow addresses me as a woman, while a check in my character's pants proves otherwise.

    When I'm visiting my Argonian fence in his house, I sometimes have to wake him up first, but then we can talk about the stuff I've stolen. The only thing which is a bit strange is that once he crawls out of his bed, I somehow end on top of his head for the time of our conversation. Doesn't bother him, though.

    Oh yeah, I'm having a lot of fun with physics in the game!

    P.S.: I just remembered something from a while back. When the Mythic Dawn agents became my enemies, I once walked into a town (possibly Anvil, through the north gate) and wandered onto some public plaza. Some Mythic Dawn guy decided to come out of hiding, suddenly wearing his impressive dark suit of armour and yelling something like a furious battlecry. I had only encountered these Mythic Dawn people, disguised as normal townsfolk, once before and was taken by surprise. About two or three seconds passed until I realized this one wanted my blood, and about two more seconds were needed to ready my sword.

    However, when I finally had my weapon drawn, it was all over already. As soon as the guy charged towards me, every one else of the about six or seven people present in the place began attacking him, and the Mythic Dawn wannabe hero went down in no time, beaten to death by a vicious, bloodthirsty mob. Even the local beggar, looking sick and miserable, ran towards the unfortunate Mythic Dawn agent and hammered him with his fists.

    So I entered a town, unwary, was frozen by shock when charged by an enemy appearing suddenly out of nowhere in an impressive suit of armour, and with a furious battlecry on his lips, and watched him meeting a violent, very fast death delivered by formerly peaceful townspeople, exploding like a volcano. Then they all strolled off into various directions, as if they were just having a walk. All in a matter of seconds.

    It was then that I laughed out loud.
    Last edited by baeuchlein; 7th Mar 2010 at 18:56. Reason: Forgot one thing

  7. #32
    Member
    Registered: Dec 2007
    Location: Finger paintings of the insane
    Great stories! I was a day 1 purchaser of Oblivion, and was just enthralled by it. 100 hours or so on my first play, followed immediately by a second. So, it has been 5 years almost to the month and I don't remember any specific tales, but these are entertaining.

    baeuchlein: you should really consider Fallout 3, it is a major improvement on Oblivion (no small feat) and yet familiar enough to an Oblivion vet that you could slide right into it.
    Last edited by gunsmoke; 13th Mar 2010 at 21:33.

  8. #33
    Member
    Registered: Dec 2004
    Location: Germany
    Quote Originally Posted by gunsmoke View Post
    baeuchlein: you should really consider Fallout 3, it is a major improvement on Oblivion (no small feat) and yet familiar enough. that you could slide right into it.
    You mean it's physics engine is a lot funnier than Oblivion's?

    I'll have a look at it, but not right now.


    Meanwhile, in Oblivion...

    Yesterday my horse and an archer who was just strolling by decided to attack a nearby rock, which was taunting both. A Detect Life spell revealed that an enemy had fallen into the rock somehow, and both this man as well as Horsey and the archer decided to do battle.

    Unfortunately, I had to get the horse out of that after a while, since it jumped up and down the rock at times, hurting itself much in the progress. I barely managed it before the horse killed itself.

    Maybe I'll travel to that rock again today and check out if the archer is still busy there...

  9. #34
    The latest funny thing to happen to me, I was outside in the wilderness, and a traveling passenger transformed into a Mythic Dawn agent and started running towards me. The only problem with that was that we were in the mountains and there was a bridge between us, but he didn't want to use it.
    He just ran off the edge staring up at me the whole way down shouting stuff at me, until he hit the ground and rolled for what seems like minutes, down the rest of the cliff lol.

  10. #35
    Member
    Registered: Mar 2001
    Location: Ireland
    Quote Originally Posted by baeuchlein View Post
    Sometimes, I really have fun with all these carefully filled tables. Jumping onto them again and again and sending all the plates and food flying into various directions never even gets me a strange look from the innkeeper or whoever is standing just next to the scene.
    In Fallout 3, people give out to you if they see you doing this.

    Strangely enough, I remember characters in Redguard taunting you with "Did your mother teach you to jump on the furniture?"; yet in the later games Morrowind and Oblivion, no one cared.

  11. #36
    Member
    Registered: Nov 2004
    Location: Mu
    It's back in Fallout 3 with a vengeance. Any time that you bump into anything that can move, even cars or garbage laying on the ground, you get yelled at by whoever is nearby. So I guess someone at Bethesda remembers it.
    Last edited by PeeperStorm; 13th Mar 2010 at 22:41.

  12. #37
    Member
    Registered: Mar 2001
    Location: Ireland
    I basically said that (in less detail) in the first paragraph of my post? I was just wondering why it got forgotten in Morrowind and Oblivion.

  13. #38
    Member
    Registered: Sep 2005
    Location: Not Kansas
    I don't know, but just try picking up the stuff you knocked off the table, etc., and putting it back where it belongs. Talk about a lesson in futility! It makes me crazy to keep kicking goblets, plates, & other stuff that I've accidentally knocked off a table & watching it skitter across the floor (not that I'm a klutz or anything). Interesting that the makers of Oblivion even included sound effects for things getting kicked across a floor & bumping into something else.

  14. #39
    Member
    Registered: Dec 2004
    Location: Germany
    Quote Originally Posted by Dia View Post
    just try picking up the stuff you knocked off the table, etc., and putting it back where it belongs. Talk about a lesson in futility! It makes me crazy to keep kicking goblets, plates, & other stuff that I've accidentally knocked off a table & watching it skitter across the floor
    I usually wait for the game itself to restore order to the rooms, unless it's in my character's house, where there is no "automatic tidy-up" function present (not that I'd want that, since I placed tons of collected stuff all around the house). That's why it's extra funny to really mess up any inn and then leave it to the game to restore it to its former glory.

    And yes, I remember Redguard's bartender's remarks on me jumping on the table. But since I was busy sword-fighting some drunk customers there, I could not have cared less for what the argonian said back then. He didn't punish me anyway.

  15. #40
    Member
    Registered: Jul 2006
    Location: Betwixt and Between
    My friend started a new game once. He was down at the part at the beginning where the Emperor was being attacked by the Mythic Dawn guys. He was waiting somewhere in there while the Blades fought them off, and after a long while, decided to go check it out. There was this huge pile of red-robed corpses sitting in the middle of the floor.

  16. #41
    Keyla the Otter
    Registered: Mar 2009
    Location: USA
    I made a song from snippets of Imperial guard arrests. It's called "The Criminal Scum Song". Tell me what you guys think of it.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihrlkPSrdm8

  17. #42
    Member
    Registered: Nov 2004
    Location: Mu
    The King and Queen Tavern has a new mascot.

    I'm pretty sure this is a bug that Mart's Monster Mod introduced. Still funny though.


    Just recently watched an Imperial Guard go "riding" up the road without a horse. Didn't remember to take a screenshot of it though.

  18. #43
    New Member
    Registered: Aug 2011
    Oh god, the funniest one had to do with a mod, I am pretty sure. An imperial guard on skooma, random things happen... here, just watch this video of it. It's hilarious xD


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyMdShdX1Ik

  19. #44
    The funniest sight I've seen in game was of a courier standing by the road partly squating looking like she was taking a wiz. She was supposed to be mounted on the horse, but the horse ran off or something, I guess.

    This is by far the best parody of the Adoring Fan I've seen.

  20. #45
    Member
    Registered: Sep 2005
    Location: Not Kansas
    @Brad: OMG that was truly funny! Thanks for sharing!

  21. #46
    Obviously not vanilla Oblivion but good lord this is the funniest TES4 machinima I've seen. I'm not even sure this is beatable:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fxVeAVl2I8

  22. #47
    New Member
    Registered: Aug 2011
    Location: Wellingborough, UK
    "Cheese for everyone!" ah Sheogorath, the only guy in the Elder Scrolls that has made me laugh.

  23. #48
    Member
    Registered: Apr 2003
    Location: The Land of Make Believe
    Replaying Oblivion and I just had a rather odd and amusing experience. I was travelling north of Skingrad, getting chased by something or other, and was in no mood for a battle. So I ran all the way to Skingrad, but even though I'd long outrun whatever it was, the combat music didn't stop.

    So I'm in the middle of Skingrad, unable to repair armour or sleep because "enemies are nearby" and Captain Dion comes over to talk with me about Glarthir. All the time the combat music is still going. Then our conversation finishes and he pulls out his sword and goes into an alert state.

    With his sword drawn he runs right through the town and out the gate, then proceeds to sprint halfway across the country to a bandit camp whereupon he was promptly slain by a bandit with a warhammer. I followed him all the way since I figured he was after whatever the game thought was after me.

    Anyway, I killed the bandit and thus managed to stop the music... I just hope Dion isn't essential for anything

  24. #49
    Member
    Registered: Nov 2004
    Location: Mu
    If you work it right, you can get Dion to follow you into Oblivion gates. The first time he did that to me I was right in the middle of combat with a couple of Spider Daedra. Suddenly combat paused with no warning whatsoever while he interrogated me about Glarthir. So wonderfully surreal.

    I'm replaying now, so I'll see if I can get him to follow me to Painted Troll land, or maybe Henantier's dreamland.

  25. #50
    Member
    Registered: Dec 2004
    Location: Germany
    Quote Originally Posted by PeeperStorm View Post
    If you work it right, you can get Dion to follow you into Oblivion gates.
    [...]
    I'll see if I can get him to follow me to Painted Troll land, or maybe Henantier's dreamland.
    How about pulling him over to the Shivering Isles? Maybe he would judge Glarthir more kindly after meeting some of the people in Sheogorath's realm.

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