Because we don't want to hear about what your ex-con boyfriend did to you in bed last night.
Because we don't want to hear repulsively intimate details about your hygiene practices.
Because when we saved your ugly ass from a piece of machinery that caught you (you were busy babbling inane shit instead of paying attention to where you were going), you accused us of "just watching it" grab you. Even though it was a completely automated piece of equipment with a very predictable, one-dimensional path, and we were all busy doing what we were supposed to be doing instead of watching you.
Because you frequently shift a full, measurable half of the workload on everyone else, but then complain on the rare occasions that someone shifts a small percent of the workload on you.
Because you must be sucking someone's corporate cock in order to not have been fired by now.