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Thread: The Archers 2 | LotP shootout

  1. #1
    Registered: Jul 2006
    Location: Tartu, Estonia

    The Archers 2 | LotP shootout

    Here's an Android game I found that follows the footsteps of those guards in Life of the Party Happy shooting!

    Lady Van Vernon's archier guard: "And I'm telling you that the only stench haughtier than you rotting burrick of a Master is the liquour on his fetid breath. If he comes near the Lady Van Vernon again, we'll boil his knickers."

    Master Willey's archier guard: "Ho ho! Mighty fine words coming from a knock-kneed, inbred page boy such as yourself. Our good Master Willey wouldn't be caught near that frumpy little trollop unless he were holding her back at the end of a halberd!"

    Lady Van Vernon's archier guard: "How dare you defile the name of someone so good and virtuous as the Lady Van Vernon! Our Lady is a Saint amongst mortal women, and angel so pure the Heavens couldn't hold her!"

    Master Willey's archier guard: "Ooooohh ha ha ha ha ha! Aah... your Lady... an angel? You're lucky the dockside whorekeeps aren't bashing down her door for stealing their clientele. Why just last night, I saw her out back, warming up the stable boy!"

    Lady Van Vernon's archier guard: "Such slander will not be tolerated while we're on watch! You'd best run and rescue your helpless limp Lord, before he flounders in his own vomit, or wakes up naked in a hen-coup! Scurry off, or he'll acquire some unnecessary ventilation!"

    Master Willey's archier guard: "Is that a threat, you shriveled old maids? You gonna prick us with you sewing needles? On this side of the street we shoot like soldiers, so don't make promises your arrows can't keep!"

    Lady Van Vernon's archier guard: "You've've gone too far this time you camel mannered tunic wearing mollycoddle! An arrow in the throad ought to shut you up!"

    Master Willey's archier guard: "Raaarrrgh! Have at thee!"

  2. #2
    Level 10,000 achieved
    Registered: Mar 2001
    Location: Finland
    Heh, ok. Pretty tenuous Thief connection there, but I like these kinds of lightweight physicsy Android games so I gave it a spin. Pretty good!

  3. #3
    Registered: Jan 2011
    Location: Wild and Wooly West of Ireland
    Quote Originally Posted by zil View Post
    ..we'll boil his knickers..
    Errm..that would be 'knackers', a naughty old english word for testicles. Much more threatening than offering to wash their Master's tighty whities IMHO.
    Cool game, though.

    Spot on, Chris.

  4. #4
    Registered: Mar 2014
    Location: Yeah.
    Best part of that whole exchange was both their masters were as bad as the other side was claiming. Also gonna check this out

  5. #5
    Registered: Dec 2015
    Location: Germany
    It is funny how different the german interpretation of this text is. Instead of "boiling the masters knackers" they only "light a fire under him" ("Feuer unter dem Hintern machen" in German). Well, a roasted master seems to be more politically correct than boiled knackers...

  6. #6
    Registered: Jan 2011
    Location: Wild and Wooly West of Ireland
    Ah, boiled knackers. It should certainly make Garrett think twice about consuming unattended foodstuff. Come to think of it, those 'Plumsies' always looked a bit suspect.

    Spot on, Chris.

  7. #7
    Registered: Jul 2006
    Location: Tartu, Estonia
    I quickly copy/pasted that whole exchange from another's post here on this forum a while ago, so did not invent that myself :P

  8. #8
    Registered: Oct 2013
    Quote Originally Posted by Purgator View Post
    Errm..that would be 'knackers', a naughty old english word for testicles.
    It is still in use in parts pf the UK. However, to me the guard sounds like he is saying "nekkers" - although God knows what that would mean (outside of the Witcher games).
    Last edited by Cigam; 4th Aug 2017 at 09:21.

  9. #9
    Registered: Jan 2011
    Location: Wild and Wooly West of Ireland
    Don't forget this is an American actor affecting a quasi English accent. Think Peter Dinklage's medieval Dick van Dyke in Game of Thrones.
    Perhaps there is a laundry based insult system in the Thief Universe we're not privy to?
    Guard 1: 'One peep out of you and I'll take your tunic to the dry cleaners'!
    Guard 2: 'Go on or I'll starch yer britches, taffer'!
    Guard 1: 'Gaah! That's it I'm gonna hand wash yer delicates for that'!
    Guard 2: 'Don't forget the softner'!

    Spot on, Chris.

  10. #10
    Desperately Dodgy Moderator
    Registered: Nov 2001
    Location: Fields of bluegrass

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