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Thread: The Voynich Manuscript has finally been decoded.

  1. #1
    Moderator and Priest
    Registered: Mar 2002
    Location: Dinosaur Ladies of the Night

    The Voynich Manuscript has finally been decoded.

    For centuries, scholars, linguists, cryptologists, and experts of other various fields have pondered the mysteries of the Voynich Manuscript. The book itself held so much promise. Forbidden secrets of lost worlds contained therein. Plants never before seen on this earth, seemingly drawn and explained in excruciating detail. Little nude women engaging in some form of advance alien biomechanical based entertainment. Arcane symbols, secret rites, mysteries upon mysteries, all explained in a book written in an undecipherable foreign alphabet, teasing untold knowledge and glory for any who could manage to translate it.

    Well, it finally happened. After hundreds of years, someone managed to translate it.

    It's an overly fancy medieval women's health manual on how to care for their vaginas.

    This? This is funny.

  2. #2
    Member
    Registered: Apr 2004
    Location: Netherlands
    I hope this newly recovered knowledge can help vaginas around the world.

  3. #3
    Moderator and Priest
    Registered: Mar 2002
    Location: Dinosaur Ladies of the Night
    Apparently the secret is to scrub it in bath with herbs under certain zodiac signs while UFOs fly overhead.

    ...we've know about that for YEARS now!

  4. #4
    Southquarter.com/fms
    Registered: Apr 2000
    Location: The Akkala Highlands
    We really should verify these findings. Volunteers?

  5. #5
    Moderator and Priest
    Registered: Mar 2002
    Location: Dinosaur Ladies of the Night
    It's medieval medicine, man. Might give me a yeast infection.

  6. #6
    Member
    Registered: Sep 2002
    Location: Cologne
    I'm glad to see that Annalee Newitz, who used to be the whole charm of io9, settled in well at Ars Technica.
    As for ancient pussy care: Just suck on this giant fennel and it'll all be good. Promise.

  7. #7
    Moderator
    Registered: Jan 2003
    Location: NeoTokyo
    If I were to "find" a mysterious coded manuscript like this, say in the Mogao Caves in China--the largest deposit of medieval books in Asia, where I've been busy looking into manuscripts written in ciphers and lost languages--it would work more like The Witness, starting off with some very easy ciphers in the first chapters that give the reader hints how to solve increasingly difficult ciphers as they read deeper into the book, and as you read on, also the mystery of the author and his or her world would also deepen, until it starts making mysterious connections with our own world, and by the end of it, you don't know who or what to trust, who or what is really running our world.

    Now I'm not saying I've actually "found" a manuscript like that just yet, but my investigations are leading me to one particular mysterious little scroll that is entirely written in ciphered code except for a few known characters scrawled on the outside in phonetic Chinese characters, presumably by some ancient monk librarian labeling it according to its presumed source: The Zarkent Manuscript. I'm investigating further.

  8. #8
    Member
    Registered: Sep 2002
    Location: Cologne
    No! The Voynich Manuscript hasn't been decoded. And while it's still probably a treatise on women's health, that wasn't news to begin with. https://arstechnica.com/science/2017...nich-solution/

  9. #9
    Member
    Registered: May 2004
    Location: Canuckistan GWN
    YAY! Finally......

    Oh, wait....


    Gibbs said in the TLS article that he did his research for an unnamed "television network." Given that Gibbs' main claim to fame before this article was a series of books about how to write and sell television screenplays, it seems that his goal in this research was probably to sell a television screenplay of his own. In 2015, Gibbs did an interview where he said that in five years, "I would like to think I could have a returnable series up and running." Considering the dubious accuracy of many History Channel "documentaries," he might just get his wish.
    In after Kolya...

  10. #10
    Moderator and Priest
    Registered: Mar 2002
    Location: Dinosaur Ladies of the Night
    Damnit! Oh well.

  11. #11
    Member
    Registered: Feb 2002
    Location: In the flesh.
    So the ancient mysteries of the vagina remain sealed.

  12. #12
    Member
    Registered: May 2004
    Location: Canuckistan GWN
    And guarded by teeth.

  13. #13
    Member
    Registered: Sep 2002
    Location: Cologne
    Some say it contains the secret control room to the universe, but most prefer it would stay a mystery.

  14. #14
    Moderator and Priest
    Registered: Mar 2002
    Location: Dinosaur Ladies of the Night
    The only thing I'm gathering from these last few posts is that none of you all got any game, or own your own pair of forceps.

  15. #15
    Member
    Registered: Mar 2001
    Location: Melbourne, Australia


    Mysteries.

  16. #16
    Member
    Registered: Sep 2002
    Location: Cologne
    Quote Originally Posted by Renzatic View Post
    The only thing I'm gathering from these last few posts is that none of you all got any game, or own your own pair of forceps.

  17. #17
    Member
    Registered: Jun 2003
    Location: Darmstadt, Germany
    In 10.000 years, when mankind is only a distant memory and dolphins rule the earth, a lost human document containing hundreds of pages will be found and will be called "The TwiTLinG Manuscript". Attempts to understand it will abound, amidst speculations about its contents. 500 years later, after it has become legendary due to countless unsuccessful attempts to decipher it, a dolphin prodigy will finally succeed.







    It will turn out to be a printout of the Trump Dump!

  18. #18
    Member
    Registered: Sep 2002
    Location: Cologne
    I'm cool with dolphins ruling the earth. Better than a lot of other species.


    *Idiots!

  19. #19
    Moderator and Priest
    Registered: Mar 2002
    Location: Dinosaur Ladies of the Night
    Dolphins: the cruel hedonistic serial rapists of the sea.

  20. #20
    Member
    Registered: Feb 2002
    Location: In the flesh.
    You say that as if it's a bad thing.

    Also I'm mildly disturbed you own a pair of forceps. Unless you roll seriously large doobies.

  21. #21
    Member
    Registered: Feb 2008
    Location: on a mission to civilize
    I'd hit some ancient vagina. You would too!

  22. #22
    Member
    Registered: Mar 2001
    Location: Melbourne, Australia


    Some more than others.

  23. #23
    Moderator and Priest
    Registered: Mar 2002
    Location: Dinosaur Ladies of the Night
    Quote Originally Posted by Tocky View Post
    Also I'm mildly disturbed you own a pair of forceps.
    I'm moderately disturbed that you don't.

  24. #24
    Member
    Registered: Jun 2003
    Location: Darmstadt, Germany
    Quote Originally Posted by Renzatic View Post
    I'm moderately disturbed that you don't.
    I'm memberly disturbed that you are only moderately and not also priestly disturbed.


    See what I did there? Ha-ha-ha!

    Ha!

    Erm...

  25. #25
    Member
    Registered: Sep 2002
    Location: Cologne
    We should talk more about the faces of Dustin Hoffman and Katharine Ross after they get on the bus.


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