posted April 18, 1999 03:05 PM
I just suddenly got this hypercool idea. There's a little profanity,
even though I took most of it out... so shield your virgin eyes, if
you feel the need. I really would like to see what other people can
come up with with movies besides "Pulp Fiction" and "Star Wars".
"Well, burrick might taste like pumpkin pie, but I'll never know
'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherf-."
"I wouldn't call him heinous. I mean, he's got an odor problem,
but what's he gonna do, he's a zombie."
"Stealing Bafford's scepter and getting the Eye out of the
cathedral ain't no damn ballpark. They ain't even the same league,
they ain't even the same f-ing sport!"
Constantine: "I tell you what now. I'm gonna get on the phone,
call a couple of hard, pipe-hittin' ratmen... I'm gonna get medieval
on your ass!"
"Oh, you a racecar? Well, I'm a mushroom-cloud laying motherf-er,
motherf-er. Every time I hear moans and rattling chains, I'm
(Garrett, on his return to Constantine): "Man, that cathedral was
some f-ed up repugnant s-t. I ain't never forgiving your ass for
Constantine: "There is a school of thought that says, once a man
gives you a large sum of money, he is immediately forgiven for all
Garret: "Well whoever made that up never had to get chased
through a cathedral by haunts because of your ass!"
"Hand me my bow. It's the one that says 'bad motherf-er'."
The Eye: "Save me, Garrett. You're my only hope."
Constantine: "Garrett! I am your father!" (ok, who didn't see
that coming a mile away.)
Never attribute to malice what can be
explained by stupidity.