UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone!
  GameForum
  Thief
  *TANGENT* Linguists are really gremlins...

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | prefs | faq | search

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Author Topic:   *TANGENT* Linguists are really gremlins...
CardinalFang
Member
posted April 27, 1999 06:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CardinalFang   Click Here to Email CardinalFang     Edit Message
OK folks, to reduce the load on cptsawbones' e-mail box, let's continue the tangent here. And what a glorious tangent it is!

P.S. For those who haven't been following along, the thread that started it all is right here: http://www.gameforum.com/Forum28/HTML/001325.html

I'm really looking forward to this. How I do enjoy a good tangent, especially with the fellow nutcases we have on this board contributing.

Now, anyone care to pick up where we left off? I will be leaving for a while but will return in a few hours.

CardinalFang

Flamineo
Junior Member
posted April 27, 1999 06:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Flamineo   Click Here to Email Flamineo     Edit Message
At the risk of incurring the wrath of the Church, I vote you lay off the more sesquipedalian members of this community.

And concentrate on the sociologists.

CardinalFang
Member
posted April 27, 1999 06:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CardinalFang   Click Here to Email CardinalFang     Edit Message
Heh heh.. well, we can't concentrate on only one group. Cardinal Fang is an Equal Opportunity Offender (EOF). I'd get sued if I didn't offend everybody.

...

Back in his office, Cardinal Fang retrieves his copy of FOPC from underneath several copies of his latest one-page manuscript, entitled "What Cardinal Fang Knows About Linguistics, Sociology, and Psychology Combined". He settles back in his chair, awaiting General Stonewall's report concerning a plan to lead the academic types into the fires of the Lost City...

CardinalFang

[This message has been edited by CardinalFang (edited April 27, 1999).]

Stonewall
Member
posted April 27, 1999 06:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stonewall   Click Here to Email Stonewall     Edit Message
Ses...sesky...seskypudelyun?

Six-legged?!!?

Man, the Internet reaches farther than I thought!

Flamineo
Junior Member
posted April 27, 1999 06:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Flamineo   Click Here to Email Flamineo     Edit Message
Literally "a foot & a half long" or something, & I think it can be applied to metric verse as well as measurement. But I mean "exhibiting a tendency to use excessively long words for no good reason", which it can mean as well. Don't have a multivolume dictionary to hand to check for a first recorded occurrence. It's a really weak gag, but I can never resist it.

Stonewall
Member
posted April 27, 1999 06:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stonewall   Click Here to Email Stonewall     Edit Message
When last we left our Heroes, the forces of Light, Might, and Reason, General Stonewall was in the dungeons of the Cathedral, desperately avoiding a pacing and invective-spitting CardinalFang...

Please calm down, Your Eminence! Remember your blood pressure!

When the Cardinal does not immediately reply, Stonewall realizes he is the only real person on the thread...

HehHeh...Put the Cardinal in this empty cell, Colonel, I must check the study for...subversives, yes that's it subversives!

As fast as his dignity will allow, the General climbs the stairs toward the Cardinal's locked study...

Stonewall
Member
posted April 27, 1999 06:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stonewall   Click Here to Email Stonewall     Edit Message
Later, the General places the still oddly quiescent CardinalFang into his desk chair and leaves...a moment later he returns, places the unconcious Churchman's left hand in a bowl of warm water, and silently slips out again, locking the door behind him...

I love it when he leaves me in charge...

JimmyTheHand
Member
posted April 27, 1999 07:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for JimmyTheHand   Click Here to Email JimmyTheHand     Edit Message
General Stonewall,

I Just had an epi..epithan... ... ... A great idea.

To lure the linguists to the Lost City of fire and lava... well need to use some bait... now I've got to thinking... What really, really, really makes a Linguist or really anybody angry...

I came up with two options

Option Number 1: We could use a mime to taunt them... but quite frankly I think we would kill him before we could use him..

Option Number 2: We string together a huge multitude of... .... Get this ... ...
(Whispers)Dangling Participles...Linguist hate those especially if we get someone like Yoda to do them.
Anyway when we get them close to the edge well suprise them with the lastest edition of FOPC.... Then well barrage them with a slew of Double negatives.... They'll have to run screaming into the lava after that....Whacha think?

Muhahahahahahahahahahah....hahaha

Stonewall
Member
posted April 27, 1999 07:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stonewall   Click Here to Email Stonewall     Edit Message
A brilliant plan, Colonel, simply brrrilliant...

Get together a squad of your most uneducated lackeys, and meet me at the edge of the forest.

Strides toward the study with a straight razor and a can of Barbasol, whistling...

[This message has been edited by Stonewall (edited April 27, 1999).]

Jennie
Member
posted April 27, 1999 07:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jennie   Click Here to Email Jennie     Edit Message
What you really need to stampede those linguists are some botanists. A few cries of "Calmintha grandiflora 'Varigata'","Fagus sylvatica", or "Sinocalycanthus chinesis" should give them all most satisfactory fits.

[This message has been edited by Jennie (edited April 27, 1999).]

JimmyTheHand
Member
posted April 27, 1999 07:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for JimmyTheHand   Click Here to Email JimmyTheHand     Edit Message
Or how about Dangling participles in Pig Latin

OR Wait I've got it....Botanists talking in Pig Latin with Dangling Partiples...

Something Like...Almintha'cae Andiflora'grae ere'whae re'aea ou'yae oing'gae o'tae

That will really shake them up.

I borrowed the really big words from Gardner Jennie

[This message has been edited by JimmyTheHand (edited April 27, 1999).]

Stonewall
Member
posted April 27, 1999 07:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stonewall   Click Here to Email Stonewall     Edit Message
Returns from the study, holding a towel containing half a moustache and some soap suds, a bottle of ale under his coat...

Ah, our gardener Jennie, always so helpful and trusting...Colonel, please scare me up a couple of Botanists...

And you, young lady, you and Tim sit down in this nice Comfy chair and tell us all about where you learned those big words...

JimmyTheHand
Member
posted April 27, 1999 08:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for JimmyTheHand   Click Here to Email JimmyTheHand     Edit Message
General But all the Lackey's I can Find are too stupid to even know what a Botanist is.

I think I'll have to go hunting for one...
This could take a while considering all know botanists are also part of the LPSO (Linguist physchologist and sociologist organization)

I think we need a spy... Gardner Jennie Will be perfect for the job.

[This message has been edited by JimmyTheHand (edited April 27, 1999).]

Stonewall
Member
posted April 27, 1999 08:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stonewall   Click Here to Email Stonewall     Edit Message
Colonel, I have a few suspicions about our friend Jennie...she knows an awful lot of big words, and that little feller she's holding looks too smart by half...

If we could turn her into a double agent, perhaps..

I'll be popping in and out, gang, somebody has to fix the sinks in this mausoleum, and guess who's nominated

Jennie
Member
posted April 27, 1999 10:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jennie   Click Here to Email Jennie     Edit Message
blink

Who, me? But, but, I'm humor-impaired. A severe affliction when married to an inverterate...no...habitual...no...um...well a guy who makes lots of puns.

Besides, I get the big words from gardening catalogs. It's so nice to sink into a large comfy chair with a cup of tea and a stack of catalogs. (I do thank you so much General, true hospitality.) So much easier than dragging compost hither and yon.

smiles sweetly

------------------
Tim toddles over and hits the spacebar...arghh! (born 4/10/98 and already helping Mom with her computer).

Ninja
Member
posted April 27, 1999 11:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ninja   Click Here to Email Ninja     Edit Message
Me not use big words no more, me no linguist expert!

...

Oh bugger, I just gave myself away I think... damn... quick everyone, run for the exit's while I distract them with a copy of the grammer checker from the latest version of M$ Word. If that doesn't totally destroy any knowledge of grammar they may have, nothing will!

CardinalFang
Member
posted April 28, 1999 12:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for CardinalFang   Click Here to Email CardinalFang     Edit Message
Well, I leave the thread alone for a few haours and look what happens! Excuse me, I am unable to type because I'm laughing so hard. Be right back.

CardinalFang

CardinalFang
Member
posted April 28, 1999 01:16 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for CardinalFang   Click Here to Email CardinalFang     Edit Message
Cardinal Fang is slumped over the desk in his study, with a lingering headache and his arm resting lightly in a bowl of cold water. Suddenly, he awakes with a start. He bolts upright in his chair, splashing water all over himself. Noticing a bright light shining directly at his face, he panics and begins to recite the names and addresses of people who also subscribe to FOPC.

He quickly realizes that the light is coming from his open study window, and that it is daylight. Straightening out his ruffled Cardinal suit, he calms himself down and shuffles the papers on his desk to steady his nerves.

It dawns upon the Cardinal that he needs a drink, badly. He rings the bell near his desk, and within moments a servant arrives.

Servant: "Your Eminence! You're awake! How are you feeling, sir?"

CF: "Like crap. Get me a bottle of Jack Daniels, on the double."

Servant:[protests] "But, sir, we are in medieval times. J.D. has not been invented yet!"

CF: [fixes the servant with a look which says that he is not interested in such mudane details]

Servant:[blanches]: "Of course, Your Eminence! Right away sir."

The servant scurries off to complete his task. Meanwhile, Cardinal Fang is desperately trying to remember the sequence of events that led to him falling asleep.

"Yes", he muses to himself, "this is another one of Stone's practical jokes. I told him to knock it off, but he never listens."

Realizing that he has more important things to worry about, he gets out of the chair and begins to change into a fresh clean Cardinal suit. When he has just finished changing and adjusting his smashing new red skullcap, the servant arrives, timidly sets down a silver tray with a bottle of Old No. 7 and a shot glass, and leaves mumbling apologies about the wait.

CardinalFang grabs the bottle by the neck, twists off the cap, and is about to chug straight from the bottle when it occurs to him what happened the last time he did that. He pauses. Gingerly, he takes the shot glass, fills it, and begins to sip his whiskey.

Browsing though the sheaves of paper on his desk, he notices a new report from General Stonewall (who has been thoughtfully keeping his Cardinal informed of developing matters, despite his childish capers).

[Splooooge! Crash! Flutter flutter...] In one fluid motion, a shocked Cardinal Fang spews his whiskey onto the carpet, drops his shot glass, and releases his grip on the papers.

"Uneducated lackeys?! Stone is sending uneducated lackeys against university-trained linguists?! This is a tragedy waiting to happen! Those academics will tear the poor sods to shreds in a matter of minutes!"

With visions of untrained soldiers clumsily wielding dangerous dangling participles and double negatives, Cardinal Fang rushes out the door and grabs his startled servant by the tunic.

CF:"Quickly! You must send word to General Stonewall to call off his attack. It is doomed to failure! Tell him he needs a seasoned debate team consisting of his most elite professors, or the linguists will have their way with the populace while we watch our soldiers slaughtered on the field of discourse!"

CF:"You got all that?"

Servant: "Uhhh.. yeah, lemme write that down. Hmmm... um, how do you spell "discourse"? One "c" or two?"

CF: [furious, gives the servant a swift boot in the rear] "Get going! This is a matter of life and death. No time for letter perfect parchments!"

As the servant hurries off, Cardinal Fang's stomach begins to rumble. He wonders whether he could get away with asking his servant for a Whopper and fries...

***

OK guys and gals, here's the ball... now you run with it for a while.

Cardinal Fang

[This message has been edited by CardinalFang (edited April 28, 1999).]

Kyloe
Member
posted April 28, 1999 06:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kyloe   Click Here to Email Kyloe     Edit Message
Flamineo: "sesquipipapo", coined by Horace in his Ars Poetica. No need for a multipurpose dictionary (good for reaching those high-up shelves). Just get yourself a Collins.

Stonewall
Member
posted April 28, 1999 06:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stonewall   Click Here to Email Stonewall     Edit Message
***excerpt from report***

...and thus arrayed, your Eminence, we march forth to battle with the coming of dusk. I had hoped you would be availible to see us off, but I can understand, if not condone, your present condition.

As a side note, if I were you, I would get rid of that servant. He has been hanging around here with a sly look on his face, and I fear he is up to no good.

Also, we are taking Gardener Jennie along as a technical consultant...she passed the test of the comfy chair nicely. Colonel Jimmy says hey, but I don't see why he didn't say hey when he was in your study earlier this afternoon.

I think that about covers everything.

***excerpt ends***

The General straightens from the field desk and hands his manuscript off to a lackey. With the Cardinal's binoculars, he surveys the line of battle, orders a few adjustments, and turns to the Colonel

Well, Jimmy, let's earn our pay today, shall we? Give your orders!

The long lines begin to move...

Jennie
Member
posted April 28, 1999 10:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jennie   Click Here to Email Jennie     Edit Message
Jennie sits at her desk and blithely orders lots and lots of catalogs, Roslyn, WFF, Plant Delights, Klehm, Heronswood, and more. As she does she strokes one of her four cats, who really know how to use a comfy chair. Then she dashes off a short note to the General.

Dear General,

Pursuant to... no... In regards to... no... As you asked, I have gotten some bait in for the linguists. If you dangle these over various traps I think you will capture a good number of the linguists without much work. Not only that, but they should be so agast at the willful mixtures of languages that they will be quite docile unless you try to take the bait away from them.

If that happens you'll have to bring out the big guns and show them the daylily and hosta sections. Be sure only your strongest stomached soldiers are in the area, however.

Respectfully,

Jennie

Rereads Everything I Need to Know I Learned from My Cat while sipping some gently radiant liquid from a mug.

[This message has been edited by Jennie (edited April 28, 1999).]

Kyloe
Member
posted April 28, 1999 11:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kyloe   Click Here to Email Kyloe     Edit Message
In his study on the nineteenth floor of the university's tallest office building, David leans back in his chair, polishing his spectacles. On the desk lies a report from hermeneutics, bearing intelligence of an inquisition planned by those dogmatic bastards from the 'Church of Prescription and Ambivalence'.
Yoda speak!, he muses, smiling to himself. A quote comes up in his mind: "The rarity of OSV (object, subject, verb) constructions and languages perhaps explains the impact of this strange speech style, used by the Jedi Master, Yoda, in the film Return of the Jedi." David Crystal
Just you bring 'em on!, he chuckles, And don't forget your double negatives ("...quite common until prescriptive grammarians started to apply logic on language, thus banishing a useful idiom from polite speech...")! This is going to be a feast. Mwahahahaha
He puts his glasses back on and starts scratching his goatee. The two vertical creases on his brow become deeper.
But would they really use mimes?, he wonders, Paralinguistics are banned by the Geneva Conventions. I'd better write a letter to the faculty of psychology. Our woman Lytha there is a well-known atheist.

This post is dedicated to David Crystal and David Lodge.

------------------
<font size="7" face="Wingdings"> </font><font size="7" face="Arial"><i>D</i></font><font size="7" face="Wingdings"><i>B</i></font><font size="5" face="Arial"> ...pling</font>

JimmyTheHand
Member
posted April 28, 1999 02:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for JimmyTheHand   Click Here to Email JimmyTheHand     Edit Message
Colonel Jimmy walks into the Command Tent... Dirty, wet, and a bad leg wound...Stands at attention...Places a thumb near each ear, wiggles his fingers, sticks out his tongue and salutes the General.
PhttPhttFlapFlapPhttPhtt.
The General salutes Jimmy.
PhttPhttFlapFlapPhttPhtt.

General: At Ease Colonel and report.

Jimmy relaxes and passed out.

The General goes over to his "Cabinet of Last Resort" and pulls out a capsule of bat guano...He then rubs the bat guano between his thumb and forefinger under Jimmy's nose...Jimmy awakens with a violent nauseated shutter... ... After Jimmy's stomach settles down he starts his report.

Jimmy: Well Sir I first sent my scouts along with a battalion of lackeys armed with dangling participles and a couple of cluster percussion inflection grenades. They managed to locate all the large groups of Linguists. Which was a little suspect but I was happy that our plan was having so much success. I placed the rest of my lackeys at the Lava with double negatives and I started the construction of the 10ft. tall FOPC. Not soon after the Lackeys were in place...I heard a tremendous yelling - crazed men I thought to myself- I know this was the moment we were waiting for, but the FOPC wasn't finished so I told them not to worry we'd have do it without the FOPC.
Well first we saw our baiters had used up all of their cluster percussion inflection grenades and most of the dangling participles were beaten and scarred beyond recognition...then we saw thousands of Linguists chasing them...they ran to the edge of the ravine at the lava pit... Silence insued...Then the baiters split up and we started throwing our double negatives at them...there was a stampede... most of the linguists were in the lava before they realized what was happening. But we were running out of double negatives and the element of suprise was waning...I had no choice I HAD to bring out our Secret Weapon #1. (Drum Roll).
Dumm Dumm Dumm Dumm Dumm Dumm Dumm Dumm Dummmmm!
The GlobalThermalSupersonicAmproPolyMorphicShockWaver with Lasersights and multiple target aquisition.
Well let me tell you Sir they didn't know what hit'em...We almost completely wiped them out but the Secret Weapon #1's batteries ran out (I knew we should've used two AAA batteries instead of one) Well Some of my men ran out of double negatives so they armed themselves with something and started hurling water balloons at the linguist....My stomach caught in my throat...by the time we could hold fire the damage was done... we were surrounded by millions of 'em. We were getting slaughtered bad.

I yelled to Technical Consultant Jennie to take Tim and the Secret Weapon#1 and escape and tell you about our defeat...But Jennie just shook her head and I could see she was wounded badly and couldn't flee. She picked up a pen and parchment, scribbled on and folded the paper and gave it to Tim who toddles over to me and slaps the paper in my hands then goes back to Jennie. I was just about to open the paper when I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. A linguist was reaching into his travel bag and before I could blink he flung a waxboard at me like a discus...I ducked...Barely missing being decapitated... The linguist then puts his hand in his tunic protector and pulls out a Feathered Quill Pen then throws it at me... I quickly rolled but the Pen stuck me in the leg. I almost blacked out from the pain but I managed to look at the paper Tim gave me. I drew a deep breath knowing it would probably be my last, and with all of my courage I shouted at the top of my lungs...
NEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
The Linguist's eyes got big as he shouted NOOOO! then he raced head first into the lava pit.
My remaining lackeys started chanting.
Nee! Nee! Nee! until almost all of the linguist were dead. Unfortunately some of the linguist fled when they heard the first Nee.

I think we're safe... at least 'til the next rain. Jenny recuperated and Tim never leaves her side...She's in the barracks now. I think Jennie should recieve the Purple Gall Bladder Medal for showing uncommon valor while having been wounded by the enemy.

[This message has been edited by JimmyTheHand (edited April 28, 1999).]

[This message has been edited by JimmyTheHand (edited April 28, 1999).]

CardinalFang
Member
posted April 28, 1999 03:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CardinalFang   Click Here to Email CardinalFang     Edit Message
Having enjoyed that last post, Cardinal Fang eagerly awaits more contributions. He snatches up some reading material from his desk and heads for the castle W.C.

CardinalFang

Lytha
Member
posted April 28, 1999 03:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lytha   Click Here to Email Lytha     Edit Message
I heard that very well, Kyloe. Even if you might have only thought it. Kyloe is very scared, because this voice came from behind his shoulder. He turns, and stares fearfully into Lytha's face. She points at her blackjack. Don't dare, Kyloe. I will find you, whereever you might try to hide. Kyloe wonders how Lytha appeared in his room. And why her eyes are filled with a very bright light. He nods hurriedly.
Why I am here? Lytha says I am just testing my psychic abilities. And now forget that you have seen me. The bright light in her eyes grows even brighter. Kyloe closes his eyes. When he re-opens them, Lytha is gone.

BTW: The second semester psychologist Esther wonders why GreyMouser thought she was a he. She searches for a mirror, to ensure herself that she has still long blonde hair, expensive clothes on her body, high heels, and a ton of makeup in her face.
She does not find a mirror, and sits down, crying. She does neither understand where she is, nor why the mad people in here speak english.


(dedicated to Esther L., also known as "Miss DAU"; and of course dedicated to Lyta Alexander, also known as "Bright goddess of PSI.")
------------------
"Komm, oh Nacht, lsch aus das Licht,
Nimm das Kind, und trst es nicht!"

[This message has been edited by Lytha (edited April 28, 1999).]

Stonewall
Member
posted April 28, 1999 06:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stonewall   Click Here to Email Stonewall     Edit Message
AFTER ACTION REPORT...(excerpt)

...and so you see, Your Eminence, thanks to the resourcefulness and quick thinking of these three heroic individuals, the entire army was saved, and the intellectuals were driven back to their ivory towers, where they belong.

RECOMMENDATIONS:
1)I propose that Colonel Hand, Gardener Jennie, and young Tim be presented with an appropriate decoration, say the Order of St. Cleese.
2)A force be placed at the border of this land to guard against further incursions of well-educated and well-spoken individuals.
3)An eye be kept on The Academician Kyloe, and others who attempt to steer us into Rightthink. He has plans, Fang, BIG plans...
4)A general day of feasting and imbibing be proclaimed.

Stonewall yawns and stretches, worn out after a long day of listening to the reprts of the battle. He puts down the Cardinal's pen and slips his feet into the Cardinal's snazzy red slippers. Walking to the door of the tent, he wonders why the sky is always red after battle...a cool breeze comes out of the East...he wonders...what are they up to over there? Where will the next attack come? How can I get that cute psychologist from the other thread into this one? And why didn't I steal his coat?

[This message has been edited by Stonewall (edited April 28, 1999).]

CardinalFang
Member
posted April 28, 1999 07:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CardinalFang   Click Here to Email CardinalFang     Edit Message
General Stonewall, feeling mightily pleased with himself, and enjoying the comforts of the Cardinal's lushly appointed battle tent, rises from his chair and reaches toward his temporally improbable bottle of Yukon Jack. Instantly, he freezes as he feels the tap of a cold, hard object on his shoulder. He turns slowly, and nearly faints when he sees the imposing figure of Cardinal Fang standing directly behind him, holding his steel bishop's crook.

CF: "Stonewall, you have been insubordinate with me for the last time!"

Stonewall: "Your Eminence! Forgive me! I can explain everything... ummm, hold on a second."

CF: "What?"

Stonewall: [reaches for a dictionary, and flips to the word "insubordinate"]
"Oh, sorry. You meant you were upset at me for me mouthing off at you? Bah! I thought you had caught me putting the moves on that good-looking sociologist... umm, er... never mind. Whaddya want, ur, how may I serve you, Your Eminence?"

CF: "I'm tired of your mouthing off, I'm tired of your practical jokes, and I'm tired of you not following standard tangent thread procudure! When I said that your battle was doomed to failure, it was doomed to failure! You can't say that a bunch of soldiers prevailed against a bunch of academics! Why, that's.. that's just plain unrealistic! And what's with this Yukon Jack? You know you're not supposed to bring in stuff that doesn't exist yet! Only Cardinals are allowed to do that..."

[ring ring]

CF:"Excuse me, that's my cell phone."

[a muffled conversation ensues, ending in an already agitated Cardinal Fang screaming "No, I wouldn't like to buy some aluminum siding for my castle, you dolt!"]

CF:[flips phone shut and drops it back into one of the voluminous pockets in his robe]" Anyway, as I was saying... uhh, what was I saying?"

Stonewall:[cowering] "You were giving me a righteous chewing-out, Your Eminence."

CF:[realizing that he might hurt the general's feelings by yelling at him] "Oh, right, well, forget I said that. I've been a little out of sorts lately. Just cut out the practical jokes, would you?"

Stonewall:[crosses his fingers behind his back, while looking innocently at the Cardinal] "Oh, of course, Your Eminence! I will desist at once!"

CF: "Good. I was going to fire you, but you're too good of a general to lose. Besides you don't really work for me, so firing you would bring up all sorts of sticky legal issues. But, be warned. My patience is wearing thin, General. You throw me in a cell, peruse my copy of FOPC, refer to me as "Fang", and disobey my orders one more time, and I'm sending you to your room without supper!"

Stonewall: [genuinely shocked] "Oh no, Fang...er, Your Eminence, not that!"

CF:"Yes. That."

Stonewall: [collapses on the floor in a heap at the thought of having to go without dinner]

CF: [Leaves the tent and quietly shuts the flap behind him] "Sigh. I hate having to threaten people. I'd much rather be nice to them, you know?"

Back in his study, Cardinal Fang affixes his signature to several important-looking documents. Since they valiantly served in battle, albiet an unauthorized one, he decides to award Jimmy, Jennie, and Tim the coveted Order of Icky Icky Icky Zooooooop! Fatang!.

CardinalFang

[This message has been edited by CardinalFang (edited April 28, 1999).]

Stonewall
Member
posted April 28, 1999 07:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stonewall   Click Here to Email Stonewall     Edit Message
...and so, children, there you have the story of how Cardinal Fang rescued the Land of Nonsense from the evil forces of The Degreed Rightthinkers. Now, have you all brushed your...

Little Boy: What happened to Cardinal Fang?

He, uh, became a talent agent with Wm. Morris...now, off to bed...

Little Girl What happened to Colonel Jimmy? He was sooo cute!

He is, er, he became a rock singer and aspirated himself. Now, where are your..

little Boy COOL! Did the Evil Forces come back?

Yes, of course they did! Kyloe, Lytha, Jyre and all their friends attacked once again. And now I really think...

Little Girl Awesome! Did they win?

AAAUUUGGGHHH! NONONO! Everybody dies! There is no happy ending! You little Monsters! Your're supposed to be asleep by now! GO TO BED!! Old Granddad runs screaming from the room

Little Girl: Oh, boy! Another story!

Kyloe
Member
posted April 29, 1999 12:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kyloe   Click Here to Email Kyloe     Edit Message
David gets up from his chair, goes over to the door, and opens it.

Ooolsen, he yells.

Yessir, says a voice behind him.

Ah, Egon, David says, in an attempt to cover up his surprise. He makes a mental note to have his study searched for secret passages. Take Benny and Kjeld and get this letter through to the American Structuralists. It contains detailed instructions on the use of copulars as auxiliaries in passive constructions. I hope they'll have the new corpus-based glossary (CBGlo) ready by now. 'Bout time we started some heavy collocating.
You will find a crate of l hidden under a bench in the auditorium.

Yessir. We need a toy tank, three cigarette butts, a theatre ticket, 20 cm of string...

Get thee going!!

...a cord wood?...

At once!!!!

------------------
M

Tommyboy
Member
posted April 29, 1999 02:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Tommyboy   Click Here to Email Tommyboy     Edit Message
LOL

Another Olsen-banden tangent, eh Kyloe?

"a crate of l"...

[This message has been edited by Tommyboy (edited April 29, 1999).]

Kyloe
Member
posted April 29, 1999 04:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kyloe   Click Here to Email Kyloe     Edit Message
Just living up to my reputation, Tommy.

------------------

All times are ET (US) next newest topic | next oldest topic

Thread ClosedTo close this thread, click here (moderator or admin only).

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | GameForum

Copyright Gibbed, 1998. All Rights Reserved. A FGN Production.

Powered by: Ultimate Bulletin Board, Version 5.25
Madrona Park, Inc., 1998 - 1999.