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Author Topic:   hmmmmm.........
ua
Member
posted June 01, 1999 01:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ua   Click Here to Email ua     Edit/Delete Message
Has anyone seen my socks?

i can't remember where i put them, i looked in bafford's and some little green guy wearing a tuxedo that was much too small for him said that my socks were behind the couch...
i looked there

they weren't there

so i called up Dr. fang he said something about a gameshow about fish finding and suggested i look in some skinny guy with broken arms' trousers...

they weren't there either...any clues anyone?

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CardinalFang
Member
posted June 01, 1999 01:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for CardinalFang   Click Here to Email CardinalFang     Edit/Delete Message
I have your precious socks, Chef. And I will not be returning them until 5000 in gold and gems are added to my dark.cfg file.

Until then, your socks will suffer repeated painful washings and dryings. Act fast before one of them is lost in the dryer. Muahahahaha!

Dr. Fang

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ua
Member
posted June 01, 1999 01:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ua   Click Here to Email ua     Edit/Delete Message
AUUUGH you vile sock pilferer!!!

it seems that reasoning will not be sufficient so chef ua...lord of the kitchen and the demon of the pastry order will now allow the formerly sequestered funds to trickle into the dark.cfg file

*AHEM* kind Dr.Fang here is the aforementioned loot command for your dark.cfg file

now please i implore you return my socks

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CardinalFang
Member
posted June 01, 1999 01:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for CardinalFang   Click Here to Email CardinalFang     Edit/Delete Message
Never! You are trying to trick me! It isn't giving me the loot. I'm starting Escape, so I really need it to buy all that equipment they're offering. This cheat sucks.

I also tried typing in IDDQD and I ain't getting no god mode. This really sucks. I'm keeping your socks until further notice, locked securely in a chest with the blue key from Constantine's garden!

Dr. Fang

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ua
Member
posted June 01, 1999 02:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ua   Click Here to Email ua     Edit/Delete Message
silly person the cheat doesnt work because you are playing with the patched version 1.33!!!! you should have downloaded the 1.34 patch

and its not IDDQD it's alt-shift

and if my socks are in any way harmed i will take that which you care for most....Your precious LAMPSHADE!!!!!!

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CardinalFang
Member
posted June 01, 1999 02:45 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for CardinalFang   Click Here to Email CardinalFang     Edit/Delete Message
Ooooh! You would make an attempt at my lampshade? I think not! It's locked inside a haunted cathedral, and you never could get the fire talisman without being killed! A haha!

And, I'll have you know that I have the unreleased 1.36 patch! It changes Garret into Gordon Freeman and all the monsters become... oh, I'll let you wait until they release it. Did I mention that Sierra bought LGS yesterday? Eheheheh.

Dr. Fang

***Cardinal Fang is in no way responsible for any boldfaced lies which may appear in this post. Dr. Fang, his evil twin, has been known to lie like a rug. You have been warned. ***

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ua
Member
posted June 01, 1999 02:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ua   Click Here to Email ua     Edit/Delete Message
so you expect to hide the lampshade from me?

and version 1.36 is yesterdays news you baboon! i have already aquired 1.39 at www.thief-darkproject.com/bold/download/1.39.html
simpleton!!!

And i will never let you in on the hidden address!!!

you forget i have obtained the lucarative water talisman and i can now walk unabashed by your silly elementals! i suggest you try to hide your precious lampshade better!!

But... i have decided to let you in on the unlimited ammo cheat!!!
even YOU can't screw this one up!!!
L-R-L-R-U-D-A-B-A-B-Select-Start

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CardinalFang
Member
posted June 01, 1999 04:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for CardinalFang   Click Here to Email CardinalFang     Edit/Delete Message
Oh, baboon is it? Well, I'll have you know that you're the fool around here. The patch you have is a well known virus. You get it through the e-mail and it deletes your whole hard drive, steals all your passwords, and emails porno pictures with your signature to your boss. In that order! And all without you even opening the email! Plus it detects all known antivirus programs and changes them to Sierra Home Designer. Ha ha! You're doomed!

P.S. Your hidden ammo cheat just gave me 100 marios. How is that supposed to help me? I need 100 garrets!

Dr. Fang

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Shades
Member
posted June 01, 1999 11:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Shades   Click Here to Email Shades     Edit/Delete Message
ROTF

oh holy jeez, i havent laughed that much in a very long time!

wince oh my poor, poor stomach...

------------------
There is no cause so noble that it wont attract fuggheads.
Semper Fi Mac! :)

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Lytha
Moderator
posted June 01, 1999 12:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lytha   Click Here to Email Lytha     Edit/Delete Message
Does that mean that you don't believe that this email virus exists? Oh... I hope for you that you are not using the hellspawn Out... argh, I can't say that word... out.. argh!! ... out -loo... argh!!

The virus is there, and it is waiting to crawl through your connection with the internet into your computer. And then does nothing help anymore. It eats your harddisk, explodes your monitor, and finally crawls into your socks. From there it starts nagging on your feet, on your legs, and up to your vulnerable point.

Take care - clean your cables to the web every day with some anti-virus sprays.

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Chance
Member
posted June 01, 1999 01:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Chance     Edit/Delete Message
While ua and the evil Dr. Fang bicker, a shadowy figure slips by. Stowing both the lampshade and the socks beneath his stolen red cloak, he disappears once again into the shadows from whence he came....

------------------
Everything is possible. Impossible stuff just takes extra finesse.

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Ghost
Member
posted June 01, 1999 03:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ghost   Click Here to Email Ghost     Edit/Delete Message
you people are wierd

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CardinalFang
Member
posted June 01, 1999 04:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CardinalFang   Click Here to Email CardinalFang     Edit/Delete Message
Oh, so Mr. Chance, you think you can sneak by undetected? I'll...

BOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!

smash crash tinkle spling roll roll rollllll

hissssssssssss

The management apoligizes for this interruption. The Evil Dr. Fang was about to do unspeakably evil things when suddenly, without warning, his monitor exploded. While Dr. Fang is seeking reconstuctive surgery, we leave you with some old nebwie post reruns. We apologize for the technical difficulties we are experiencing.

...

A_Foo (Junior Member)

hat whut teh hell is going on here???????? what are u all takling abut??????????????? this theif game sux it sux theres no roket lancher i cant play games wiht no cheet codes you all suk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i will make u all evny my rooled leet warez sig!!!!!!!!!

AFoODaWaRezMoNkEyWHoLIvesOnEfNet
24HrSADayAnDWhOsEThIeFKnoWlEdGeC
OmeSFroMSeEinGItOnAwAreZPageOncE

...

Meanwhile, from inside the case of Dr. Fang's computer, right where the hard drive is located, comes the familiar sound of ketchup being squeezed from a plastic bottle.

Pthhhh! Pth! Pth!

Crunching sounds are heard...

[This message has been edited by CardinalFang (edited June 01, 1999).]

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Chance
Member
posted June 01, 1999 04:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Chance     Edit/Delete Message
The old 'mine in the monitor trick'. Works every time....hehehehe

------------------
Everything is possible. Impossible stuff just takes extra finesse.

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CardinalFang
Member
posted June 01, 1999 04:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CardinalFang   Click Here to Email CardinalFang     Edit/Delete Message
Dr. Fang, whose charred face is wrapped completely in bandages except for the eyes, enters the room and takes a look at the remains of his computer.

Hmmm... the monitor exploded from the inside.

Dr. Fang pops open the case and observes an empty Coke bottle and some ketchup-stained napkins.

Judging by the fact that my hard drive has been eaten as well, I'd say that I have the nasty virus Lytha mentioned. And, luckily that means that all the symptoms are over at least.

Oh na.. wait a minute... there's one more symptom! Aughhhh! Ow! Ow! Get away! Noooooooooooooooo!

A nasty and highly explosive computer virus crawls into Dr. Fang's socks

Begone, demon spawn! I exorcise you from my socks, borrowing the powers from my good twin Cardinal Fang! A hahahahah!

Dr. Fang sprinkles his socks with holy water (aka Anti-Virus Spray). The virus moans and shrivels. Dr. Fang applies more water and the virus pops into a pile of kibbly chubs (thanks for that expression, Digi! I love it! ).

Eheheheheheheh! I'mmmmmmm baaaaaackkk! And now I will unleash my evilness on the world once again... as soon as a go back to the surgeon and choose a replacement face.

Dr. Fang

[This message has been edited by CardinalFang (edited June 01, 1999).]

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ua
Member
posted June 01, 1999 05:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ua   Click Here to Email ua     Edit/Delete Message
oh so the insipid dr fang seeks to hide from my rage by disguising his face!!!

oh you ever confused buffoon!!! you have only just begun the war of the socks!!!

and remember you started this oh cruel evil misguided dr fang!!!

i ask you return my precious socks or i will not just eat your hardrive!! i will turn it into a masterpiece fit for small snobby people!!!

and if you think you can confuse me by suggesting i dont know what wine goes with HDD you are wrong!!!

everyone knows the correct wine for an HDD is thunderbird!!!!

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Lytha
Moderator
posted June 01, 1999 06:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lytha   Click Here to Email Lytha     Edit/Delete Message
I have a hypothesis where your socks went, ua. One of the pink froggies might have went pee in them, as they did with my clothes. This stuff dissolves everything. Really everything. I mean: I had some pretty clothes, some weapons, some projectiles, and even 700 loot, before a pink froggie peed into my clothes as I morphed myself into a dryad.

Just look at the floor, if there's somewhere a oddly sock-like thingie, dissolved, and stinky.

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ua
Member
posted June 01, 1999 06:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ua   Click Here to Email ua     Edit/Delete Message
no lytha, my dear lady... there was no reminance of pink giggly frog urine on my floor....i still believe dr. fang has them....
unless....

of course! ive been played the fool!!!

i believe the pink froggies did indeed pee on my precious socks but after that infernal fiend fang stole them.....

it should teach me not to leave the back door guarded by a drunken guard....and his friend just probably walked right by fang and said "how's it going!"

GRRRR i knew i should've gotten better guards...but that constantine fella said he did'nt need 'em anymore!! said they weren't his type...whatever that means

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Ninja
Member
posted June 01, 1999 09:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ninja   Click Here to Email Ninja     Edit/Delete Message
Hmm, so what would Constantine's type be? Did he keep all those young servant boys?

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Chance
Member
posted June 02, 1999 12:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Chance     Edit/Delete Message
Clad in his comfy new socks, Chance pauses to admire the new shade on his lamp. He then fires up the evil Dr. Fang's pilfered hard drive and begins perusing its contents. Hmmm..."World Domination for Dummies"...."The Idiot's Guide to Evil"...."101 Maniacal Laughs"...."Deathtraps 101"....How to Conquer the World in 30 Days"....interesting reading.....

------------------
Everything is possible. Impossible stuff just takes extra finesse.

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The Scarlet Jester
Member
posted June 02, 1999 12:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for The Scarlet Jester     Edit/Delete Message
GET THE THIEVING TAFFER!! HE'S GOT MY CAPE!!

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Shades
Member
posted June 02, 1999 12:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Shades   Click Here to Email Shades     Edit/Delete Message
HEhehehehehahahoho

Serves you RIGHT Jester! Impersonating me indeed! Run Chance! Run! Run for you life!

Jester: Why you freakin little punk!
Shades: Uhoh...

------------------
There is no cause so noble that it wont attract fuggheads.
Semper Fi Mac! :)

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Chance
Member
posted June 02, 1999 03:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Chance     Edit/Delete Message
I prefer not to think of what I do so much as thieving, but as 'borrowing for an indefinite period of time'.

------------------
Everything is possible. Impossible stuff just takes extra finesse.

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Ninja
Member
posted June 02, 1999 11:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ninja   Click Here to Email Ninja     Edit/Delete Message
Oh great, just what we need... a kender!

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Chance
Member
posted June 03, 1999 01:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Chance     Edit/Delete Message
Um..no comment?

Chance contemplates how best to get revenge on Ninja for blowing his cover

------------------
Everything is possible. Impossible stuff just takes extra finesse.

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ua
Member
posted June 24, 1999 02:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ua   Click Here to Email ua     Edit/Delete Message
Dear sir or madam,

It has come to our attention that this thread has not been fully viewed to it's maximum potential. The managment has come to several conclusions on this, and all of them had to do with alcohol, argyle, and Sean Connery.

Returned to to overly sufficient postage. destroy upon reciept.
CEC UA
writer of words, singer of songs, drinker of drinks

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Epos NiX
Member
posted June 24, 1999 02:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Epos NiX   Click Here to Email Epos NiX     Edit/Delete Message
Sillyness is totally acceptable in the chat forum....

But this isn't the chat forum...

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ua
Member
posted June 24, 1999 03:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ua   Click Here to Email ua     Edit/Delete Message
ummm...sillyness?
Sir... i'm afraid you do not realize the seious implications of sock pilfering...it has started more wars than bad creme brulees! more men have died for thir socks than any other footwear!...please do not admonish that which you don't comprehend

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CardinalFang
Member
posted June 24, 1999 02:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CardinalFang   Click Here to Email CardinalFang     Edit/Delete Message
The Scene: Some kind of sock-shaped ship in the heart of the Imperial Trade Federation's blockade of the peaceful planet Baboon...

Viceroy ua: My lord! The newbies have arrived and are complaining about the silliness on the Thief forum!

A sinister figure is on the 3-D hologram, cloaked in black, with only a chin visible

Darth Fangius: Hmm... Kill them, or something. Then, carry out your silliness until the Thief forum is completely silly.

Viceroy ua: Continue the silliness?! Is that legal?

Darth Fangius: I will make it legal.

Viceroy ua: Very well, my lord.

The hologram shuts off, and Viceroy ua goes about to carry out his orders. In a bad Chinese accent, he orders his second in command to procure him a sheaf of letters pre-printed with the phrase "Dear Sir or Madam..."

Meanwhile, in the Imperial City, a certain senator cackles evilly to himself.

Senator Fangatine: Eeheheheheh! Everything is proceeding as I have forseen.

V.....******RIIIIIPPPPP*****

NOTICE: The following post has been halted by LocustFarts, Inc. in connection with a trademark infringement dispute. Furthermore, the author's blatant misuse of several well-known movies warrants an immediate beating with wet noodles... if we could only find this person, who calls himself "Dr. Fang". The good Cardinal Fang has assured us of his full cooperation in tracking down his evil twin and bringing him to justice.

[This message has been eaten by The Ravenous Bug-Blatter Beast of Trall (eaten June 24, 1999).]

[This message has been edited by CardinalFang (edited June 24, 1999).]

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Lytha
Moderator
posted June 24, 1999 03:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lytha   Click Here to Email Lytha     Edit/Delete Message
On her way into the NutsHouse, Lytha stumbles over the word "sillyness" in this thread. She looks confused around, and thinks that she had arrived in the NutsHouse now. She takes one Zombie from her pocket (stolen in the Wishlist), and places it gently on the floor.

After doing that, she adds a sitting Skeleton behind the door, and a Haunt in a dark corner. The Apparition admits that it et the socks of the chef some weeks ago, and is placed on the table.

Suddenly, Lytha spots a newbie with a x in the name in this thread, and in the same moment she realizes that she is in the normal forum.

With Murus (who has suddenly his 2 twinbrothers Renault and Martello with himself), she hurries away to the NutsHouse.

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ua
Member
posted June 25, 1999 03:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ua   Click Here to Email ua     Edit/Delete Message
Consider if you will,
A zone not of sight or sound, but of static cling, you are now entering...the sock zone

(a simple sketch of a poofy hat shows on the screen)

today we look into the life of our hero, ua, and that evil villian: Dr. Fang

Scene: a farm in the smack dab of dubuque, iowa

a savage tornado rips through the bleak midwestern countryside carrying a black clad Dr. Fang on a '67 harley.

Fang : EHEHEHEHEHEH

Harley: BROOOOOOOOOMMBRUMBRUM!!

fade to a light mauve

scene: a mountain resturaunt where we find our hero making a elk carpachio with a rosemary truffle oil infusion

ua: mmmmm....this is a perfect day, or would be if i had my socks.

suddenly the TV blares that annoying siren sound

tv: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPP!

an announcer comes on the tube


FLASH!! the evil Dr. Fang and his '67 harley have been seen over dubuque, iowa

ua: THIS SOUNDS LIKE A JOB FOR........

a brilliant flash of light and mild mannered ua is wearin a bright fucia and burnt umber costume

ua: SUUUUUPPPEEEERRRR CHEFFFF!!!

fade to black

Next week episode 2, or, the gas station at the edge of the universe


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CardinalFang
Member
posted June 25, 1999 03:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for CardinalFang   Click Here to Email CardinalFang     Edit/Delete Message
Oh please.

Aren't we getting a bit carried away here? I mean, come on! Bright fucia and burnt umber?!!

The fashion police will be at your door any minute. I suggest you make good your escape. Oh, and lose the puffy hat! Not exactly inconspicuous...

Dr. Fang

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Sparrow
Member
posted June 25, 1999 03:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sparrow   Click Here to Email Sparrow     Edit/Delete Message
A couple of really skinny and gnarly fellas arguing inside a useless observatory:
It’s pie!
Nooh, It’s a batong!
Eeeeh… Noooh… it’s a fruitcake!
Noooh … Nooh …. Gosh …

It’s The Flying Chef with spicy aromatic mushroom sauce!!!

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ua
Member
posted June 25, 1999 04:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ua   Click Here to Email ua     Edit/Delete Message
/nick #sillyness Fashion`Police

Fashion`Police sorry, Dr. Fang but those are "in" colors right now. the effect of blending in the hat was simply *gasp* genius! your leather jacket has got to go though! what are we trying to say here? hoodlum? work with me here..we remove the sleeves from the jacket..and make them a nice white chiffon...VERY classy!...and this skull on the back...nononono!! we make it...a sunflower very popular right now...add some lace around the collar...a rainbow colored beret and...VOILA!!! yes...much better.

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Sparrow
Member
posted June 25, 1999 04:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sparrow   Click Here to Email Sparrow     Edit/Delete Message
A couple of really skinny and gnarly fellas arguing inside a useless observatory:
Can it be!!!!
Yes, Yes, Oh Yes!!!!
The Flying Chef is making a fashion statement!

A couple of really skinny and gnarly fellas inside a useless observatory look at each other:
A Fashion Statement?


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