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Thread: 1000 Gaming Annoyances

  1. #1

    1000 Gaming Annoyances

    1. Many FPS games often start you off with a knife or a pistol.

    2. Characters in in many FPS games can never keep the sniper scope still.

    3. Many RPG games start you off in prison or having lost your memory.

    4. Stacks of Crates.

    5. Loading screens that actually say "LOADING" right in the middle of the screen just when you were really starting to feel immersed in the game.

    6. Enemies that disappear after 30 seconds to "conserve memory".

    7. Looking down on an FPS game, and realising that all you are is just a floating box.

    8. A small key can take the same amount of inventory space as a Rocket Launcher or Shotgun.

    9. Alternative ending sequences.

    10. Deliberate gun inaccuracies where developers have tried to make the game "realistic".
    Last edited by Nomad Prophet; 12th Oct 2005 at 08:05. Reason: Previous title was too controversial...

  2. #2
    is Best Pony
    Registered: Nov 2002
    Location: The magical land of Equestria
    Wouldn't 7 be great if it was the actual storyline?

  3. #3
    Member
    Registered: Jan 2004
    Location: Back Home
    11. Hi, I'm Twinsen, the hero of this adventure!

  4. #4
    Member
    Registered: Jan 2005
    Location: hehe lol
    12. Barrels what explode.

  5. #5
    Member
    Registered: Aug 2002
    Location: Maupertuis
    Most of those aren't clichés, they're just things that annoy you.

  6. #6
    Member
    Registered: Aug 1999
    Location: terrible canyons of static
    13. Out-of-place cursing.

  7. #7
    14. 1000 _________ that _________ you lists, on the internet.
    15. Hip hip HURBLUHH.

  8. #8
    Member
    Registered: Dec 2001
    Location: Finland
    Quote Originally Posted by Mobb Deep
    2. Characters in in many FPS games can never keep the sniper scope still.
    I'd rather not have a "Hold breath" button, thank you very much.


    16. FPS games where you can hold your sniper scope perfectly still.

    17. "You have betrayed the Order!" and all the other pompous RTS Game Over radio messages.

  9. #9
    Member
    Registered: Jan 2005
    Location: hehe lol
    18. 1000 _________ that you _________ lists, on the internet.
    19. Nazis.
    20. Hero characters in RTSs.
    21. Quicksave.

  10. #10
    Member
    Registered: Dec 2001
    Location: Finland
    22. Monsters that turn into % when you hit them.

  11. #11
    Member
    Registered: Jan 2005
    Location: hehe lol
    23: Billboard shrubs.

  12. #12
    Member
    Registered: May 2000
    Location: East Achewood, CA
    23. Baddies that are all the same size and build. Yeah, they wear uniforms, but apparently they're all from the same genetic stock, too. How hard would it be to randomly generate different heights and weights?

    24. Look at all the guns and ammo I can carry!

    25. Pain? What pain? Ah, a medkit! I will smash it against my body or something and instantly be able to endure further bulleting.

    26. I constanly hold my gun a little aways from myself, so it always is visible in the bottom corner of my vision. And yet I shoot with perfect precision! Watch it sway gently back and forth as I run around.

    27. Unlike most people, I can project my spirit outside my body. I actually see myself from the third person, hovering about three feet behind my own neck. I also drive a car from a position about six feet behind it, my projected spirit hovering and controlling my body within the metal beast.

    28. I have amnesia. Who am I? Perhaps these well-placed clues and dialog trees will inform me as to that question that I just asked in the previous sentence.

    29. It's a good thing I can't jump over that two-foot high fence, for that would merely detract from the linear beeline I am making to my objective.

    30. Killing rats, and lots of them, makes me better at what I do, which is killing things larger than rats. If I didn't kill these rats, I wouldn't be as good at killing other things.

  13. #13
    Level 10,000 achieved
    Registered: Mar 2001
    Location: Finland
    Quote Originally Posted by Mobb Deep
    6. Enemies that disappear after 30 seconds to "conserve memory".
    lol yeah what a load of bull. We all know why they really disappear.

    they get eaten by microscopic pixel eating monster-homo-faries YEA NICE GOING MICRO$OFT!!!!!! BILL GATES IS THE WHITE SATANNNNNN

    31. SHOTGUNS AM I RITE OR AM I RITE GUYS

    32. David Duchovney's who only speak like 5 lines through the entire game altho the PR d00dz go on about him like he MADE the frickin game.

  14. #14
    ZylonBane
    Registered: Sep 2000
    Location: ZylonBane
    At the risk of introducing some actual humor into this thread...

    Everything I Need to Know, I Learned from Video Games
    1. There is no problem that cannot be overcome by violence.
    2. You can overcome most adversaries simply by having enough quarters.
    3. If it moves, KILL IT!
    4. Operating any vehicle or weapon is simple and requires no training.
    5. "Bosses" always hire henchmen weaker than they are to do their dirty work.
    6. If you find food lying on the ground, eat it.
    7. You can smash things and get away with it.
    a. Smashing things doesn't hurt.
    b. Many nice things are hidden inside other things.
    8. When someone dies, they disappear.
    9. Money is frequently found lying on the streets.
    10. All shopkeepers carry high-tech weaponry.
    11. You never run out of bullets, only grenades.
    12. Ninjas are common, and fight in public frequently.
    13. Whenever huge evil fat men are about to die, they begin flashing red or yellow.
    14. When you are born, you're invulnerable for a brief period of time.
    15. Although the enemy always has more aircraft than you, they fly in predictable patterns which makes it easier for you to shoot them all down.
    16. All women wear revealing clothing and have great bodies.
    17. The enemy always leaves weapons and ammo laying around for no other reason than so their bitter enemies can pick them up and defeat them with it.
    18. You sustain injury if you shoot innocents.
    19. Gang members frequently all look the same, and often have the same names.
    20. When driving, do not worry if your vehicle crashes and explodes. A new one will appear in its place.
    21. Anyone that can't jump over six feet high probably can't jump at all.
    22. Even the lowest life forms such as worms, slugs, and slimes carry money.
    23. A good way to hurt someone is to do the following: 1. Hold up your hands, 2. (optional) Stomp the ground, 3. A large object (like a rock) will fall from the sky, 4. Catch the large object, and 5. Throw it.

  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Vernon
    21. Quicksave.
    Yeah this quicksave option always annoys the hell out of me. It's almost as if the designers wanted us to enjoy the game or something.

  16. #16
    Member
    Registered: Sep 2005
    Location: An apartment
    Every building regardless of size or time period has central heating and vents large enough for a grown man to crawl through or even walk through slightly hunched over.

  17. #17
    Member
    Registered: Apr 1999
    Location: Fatteh's laundry basket.
    33. I'm a hero, but a plank blocking the road thwarts my climbing prowess!

  18. #18
    Member
    Registered: Aug 2004
    Quote Originally Posted by Deep Qantas
    I'd rather not have a "Hold breath" button, thank you very much.
    It worked pretty well in FarCry.

  19. #19
    Member
    Registered: May 2003
    Location: Minecraft
    34. At roughly mid-way though the game you'll be captured and lose all your weapons. But don't Worry! Despite the fact you've killed hundreds of your enemies, you'll only be locked in an easily escapable cell rather than executed on the spot.

  20. #20
    Member
    Registered: Jan 2005
    Location: hehe lol
    Quote Originally Posted by Eshaktaar
    Yeah this quicksave option always annoys the hell out of me. It's almost as if the designers wanted us to enjoy the game or something.
    Nothing wrong with the auto-save points in Half Life 2 was there... On any difficulty level.

  21. #21
    Moderator
    Registered: Sep 2000
    Location: Hong Kong
    35: I'm a beautiful, voluptuous young woman who decided to wield a sword for a living.

  22. #22
    Member
    Registered: Jan 2002
    Location: Ohio
    36: Final Fantasy. Thats like 1000 cliches right there.

    36a: The villain burned down my village now I want revenge!
    36b: The character that just died in a cutscene can't be brought back to life with the Life spell you've been using throughout the game.
    36c: Loner hero overcomes!
    Last edited by NeoPendragon; 12th Oct 2005 at 02:01.

  23. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by twisty
    35: I'm a beautiful, voluptuous young woman who decided to wield a sword for a living.
    ...and this metal bikini will certainly shield my body from harm whilst I kill things.

  24. #24
    Member
    Registered: Sep 2001
    Location: Iacon
    Quote Originally Posted by Mobb Deep
    7. Looking down on an FPS game, and realising that all you are is just a floating box.
    Anyone agreeing with this whilst also moaning about the "body awareness" in Thief 3 gets a slap.

  25. #25
    Member
    Registered: Jul 2001
    Location: Assume I put a witty joke here
    37: Monsters come through a portal and only YOU can stop them!

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