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Thread: Total Crap FM Contest missions available

  1. #1
    Southquarter.com/fms
    Registered: Apr 2000
    Location: The Akkala Highlands

    Total Crap FM Contest missions available

    Hi,

    For those unaware, there's been a T2 FM contest in works for the past several weeks over in the Editor's Guild. The details are here, but the basic premise was a little different than your usual contest. In short, participants were to create the most awful and terrible FM they could possibly imagine.

    The point? Possibly a little humor, or a chance to just goof around with no consequences. Hopefully these missions will make everyone laugh a little bit, but more likely you'll just cringe and shake your head. In any case, none of this should be taken very seriously.

    There is a voting page available at Southquarter.com, check it out here. The voting deadline is January 12th, 2007, with results to follow soon after.

    So, enough rambling by me. Here are the the contestants. May the worst FM win!

    bad man
    Chuffy Train
    The Cube
    The Drop
    Half-Blind
    Hammerite Hideout
    Having Regrets
    House Rob
    Incubus
    Teh j0KeR
    The Kill Factory
    Kill The Guard
    A Long Way Down
    The Medal Age
    OMG Get You're Blackjack Back! LOL
    Quamtotius Purgamentum
    The Scary Castle
    Shadow of Darkness
    Tcrap
    tOt 1 the escape
    Walkin' Da Moon!

    There ya go, have fun!
    Last edited by Brethren; 21st Dec 2006 at 16:44.
    Get all recent FMs at www.southquarter.com/fms

  2. #2
    Member
    Registered: Jul 2003
    Location: United Kingdom
    21 missions? Woot!

  3. #3
    Member
    Registered: Jul 2003
    I'll clear my schedule for the next few hours.

  4. #4
    Clearinghouse
    Registered: Aug 2002
    Location: Siberia, Russia
    Cool 21 missions!

  5. #5
    Member
    Registered: Jul 2003
    Location: United Kingdom
    Incubus = LOL!

  6. #6
    Member
    Registered: May 2001
    Location: Italy
    WOW ! i was out of home until now, finally the contest has begun !! 21 mission to laugh ! amazing.. and look at those titles... ahah very promising ones... hihi!

  7. #7
    Member
    Registered: Dec 2003
    Location: Making Larry Miserable
    I've played four now. Three were crap so I guess that's good(?), one was quite fun so I guess that is bad (?).


  8. #8
    Member
    Registered: May 2001
    Location: Italy
    Quote Originally Posted by The_Dude View Post
    I've played four now. Three were crap so I guess that's good(?), one was quite fun so I guess that is bad (?).

    we want the names !

  9. #9
    Member
    Registered: Jul 2005
    Location: Bulgaria
    Quote Originally Posted by The_Dude View Post
    I've played four now. Three were crap so I guess that's good(?), one was quite fun so I guess that is bad (?).

    Hm, I don't think so. The voting cathegories are copy/paste:

    1. Crappiest Audio & Visuals
    2. Crappiest Story
    3. Crappiest Design
    4. Crappiest Gameplay
    5. Humor
    6. Originality

  10. #10
    Member
    Registered: Jun 2001
    Location: Tatry Mountains, Poland
    Kill Factory.

    WOW!

  11. #11
    Member
    Registered: Dec 2003
    Location: Making Larry Miserable
    Well I'm playing alphabetically so you can guess.

    I liked A Long Way Down.

    I presume in Chuffy Train you have to
    spoiler:
    kill them all!

  12. #12
    Member
    Registered: Jan 2003
    Location: North Carolina, USA
    Quote Originally Posted by sluggs View Post
    Incubus = LOL!
    Incubus is very trippy.

  13. #13
    Member
    Registered: Dec 2003
    Location: Making Larry Miserable
    Kill Factory.

    WOW!

    The most original yet. What a hoot.
    spoiler:
    I think sluggs did this one!


    Tcrap wins the prize for most mindless experience. But it was funny. As was Kill The Guard, I love the guard on
    spoiler:
    springy mushrooms.


    The best of these are going to be the funny ones. The rest are ....
    Last edited by The_Dude; 7th Dec 2006 at 20:03.

  14. #14
    Member
    Registered: Jan 2003
    Location: North Carolina, USA
    I don't understand Quamtotius Purgamentum. When it starts up all I do is plunge to my death ... poof mission over.

    Is that all? Really?

  15. #15
    Member
    Registered: Feb 2003
    Location: Notlob
    I don't understand Quamtotius Purgamentum. When it starts up all I do is plunge to my death ... poof mission over.

    Is that all? Really?
    Nope! It's quite a large mission.

    Clue:
    spoiler:
    Is it raining?

  16. #16
    New Member
    Registered: Feb 2003
    Location: Moscow
    Just played them all...
    Well, I rated them in that order:

    - Incubus - really great winner, but not even so crap, as it MUST be... But VERY fun!
    - Teh j0KeR - great balanse between crapness an greatness .
    - The Cube - I like the movie. This FM - IS REALLY thief-cube-movie-like. Cool!

    Special Prizes:
    - A Long Way Down - its interesting chalenge to all taffers who liked exploring areas. It remembers me Unwelcome Guest - Thief 2 Demo which i like so much!
    - The Kill Factory - extra-style mission.

    But most other FMs very nice too. Thanks a lot for this contest!

  17. #17
    Member
    Registered: Jul 2003
    Location: United Kingdom
    Quote Originally Posted by The_Dude View Post
    The most original yet. What a hoot.
    spoiler:
    I think sluggs did this one!
    I think ***YOU*** did this one! There's something about this that reminds me of Gussie's Dream

    BTW, I think this is too good to be "Crap"

  18. #18
    Member
    Registered: Aug 2005
    Location: Right behind you
    I've played three so far and they're crap alright! But I can't complete TOT Escape. I try to get to the mask and it just throws me into the water and then the game freezes. Wasn't a prerequisite that these missions had to be completeable?

    EDIT: I can't complete the HammeriteHideout one either.
    Last edited by Drysils Chosen; 8th Dec 2006 at 02:24.

  19. #19
    Member
    Registered: Feb 2003
    Location: Notlob
    I can't complete the HammeriteHideout one either.
    Do you want to give us a clue as to why?

    I assume you can't find a certain key
    spoiler:
    under the couch?

  20. #20
    Member
    Registered: Jul 2005
    Location: Bulgaria
    Quote Originally Posted by Drysils Chosen View Post
    I've played three so far and they're crap alright! But I can't complete TOT Escape. I try to get to the mask and it just throws me into the water and then the game freezes. Wasn't a prerequisite that these missions had to be completeable?

    EDIT: I can't complete the HammeriteHideout one either.

    spoiler:
    search for a key near the dead man in the chapel


    OK, now what? how are we going to vote on these?

  21. #21
    Desperately Dodgy Moderator
    Registered: Nov 2001
    Location: Fields of bluegrass

    Can't you people read?

    Quote Originally Posted by Brother Renault View Post
    There will be a voting page available soon up at Southquarter.com, I'll post the link in this thread. The voting deadline will be December 31st, 2006, with results to follow soon after.

  22. #22
    Member
    Registered: Jun 2004
    Could someone make a campaign out of these missions? That would be great.

  23. #23
    Member
    Registered: Jul 2003
    Location: United Kingdom
    I don't think anyone wants to play these!

  24. #24
    Member
    Registered: Jul 2005
    Location: Bulgaria
    Quote Originally Posted by sluggs View Post
    I don't think anyone wants to play these!
    OK, who is going to vote then

  25. #25
    Member
    Registered: Dec 2003
    Location: Making Larry Miserable
    I'm really enjoying them. Well ...some of them anyway. Got a day off (sudden illness) and this contest is the perfect panacea. I've got sluggs down as author for about five of them!

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