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Thread: 1000 clues that you have been playing thief way to much ...

  1. #301

    When sitting in the shadows watching guard patrols, you sneeze IRL and panic because the guard might have heard you....(actually did this and decided it was time for a break....and coffee)

    This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays

  2. #302

    Ok, I will add my 400 and sum ways to tell you play Thief to much. They may have been listed before, but here they are:SoulStripper:

    1) you lurk around the shadows of your house bashing family members on the head with
    small pillows..

    2) You hear clicking at night and think there's a beachball-sized man-eating spider
    guarding loot right in the path of you and your bathroom.

    3) You sneak up on your family members in the dark, and hit them on the head with a
    half-eaten pizza... (The one you've been taking bites of during load time. Well, maybe it's
    not heavier but it's definetly harder! It got cold and stiff 'cause you didn't have time to eat
    it!!!... It did!)

    4) You instinctively dodge and roll when you hear someone belch to avoid the noxious
    fumes that will no doubtedly be coming out of their mouth in seconds.

    5) As you drive into the parking lot you find yourself examining the local grocery store for
    ways to break in. Yeah, a rope arrow just there...

    6) You start making sly, and quick-witted comments, like me- err like Garrett

    7) As you stand against the wall at work you wait as people pass by and pretend to whack
    them over the head, just to keep in practice of course.
    8) You are constantly looking around for Big Wooden Beams above you, just so that you
    know your not missing your chance to find something.

    Digital Nightfall:
    9) You begin to instinctively avoid floors that are not carpeted.
    10) You remove all light bulbs from your home.
    11) The word "Taffer" is a permanent addition to your daily vocabulary.

    12) When you need to fix your roof, you get a bow rather than a ladder.

    Ekachai Jiaravanont:
    13) You start treating your dog like a burrick.

    14) When a door opens you immediately look for a dark corner to hide in.
    15) You make it a conscious effort to try and SNEAK into all of your co-workers
    offices/cubicles without being seen. Also, I have started to try to sneak in and out without
    being noticed. (I only have to sneak into the Executive's offices now, wish me luck)

    16) When you pick up something by mistake you hurl it across the room because it's much
    easier than remembering how to just set it back down

    17) You find yourself shooting moss arrows down the main hardwood hall of your house
    just so you can sneak to the fridge and loot it at 3:00 AM without wakin someone up. =)
    .... or at least it would work that way at my house. )

    18) You start walking down back alleys on your way to and from work because there are
    too many lights on the main road.
    19) When you see a house with a balcony your first thought is how you can climb up there
    without the guards seeing you.
    20) Start telling all your roomates there's a lost city somewhere under your house.

    21) You start calling your friends and family members "man-flesh".
    22) You develop the unconscious habit of slamming doors noisily, since you're the only
    one who can hear them anyway.
    23) When walking down the street, you stop to closely inspect every rock and pebble
    along the way to see if it lights up silver or gold.

    24) You cringe every time your wife and/or girlfriend removes her clothes for fear of
    seeing a bunch of growing vines, moss, grass, branches, leaves and stuff.
    25) Your best friend tells you instead of buying Thief like you suggested, he buys Turok 2
    - so you kill him.

    26) You suddenly find yourself watching the sunrise and sunset for a straight week
    considering that you'll be up from playing Thief to see em all

    27) two words: petty theft (the whole ladder thing i explained in another post ;-)
    28) not only do you walk through shadows, but you look down for a little gem to see how
    well hidden you are.

    caine? #4 is probably a good idea anyway
    and ChickenHeart, you just scared me
    but syko's #26 is all too true... damn you, LGS!

    29) You now find yourself switching off the lights in your room by shooting water arrows
    at the bulbs.
    30) When attending a funeral, you bring along a vial of holy water 'just in case'.

    31) You start reffering to your brothers as Murus and Martello...
    32) You quote hammerite scripture at church.

    33) You go the the liquer store and spend an hour looking for the wine in the GOLD
    bottle, not the green.
    34) You steal a pen from the bank teller and say "Since I'm in here I might as well pick up
    something for myself"

    35) you start thinking of other FPSs in terms of Thief... you know what i mean. thinking
    people can't see you in the shadows, checking the floor surfaces, sneaking up behind
    people (only works w/ the spy in TF), and comparing Thief to, say, HalfLife?

    36) Trying to lean around corners in other FPS's, egads it's quite annoying

    37) When someone insults you, you call them a flawed creation
    38) You hum those catchy tunes as you walk down any hall
    39) You find yourself randomly quoting people in the game subconsiosly (I do it
    sometimes )

    40) When you are in a place with shadows, you think about hiding, but then realize you
    aren't dressed all in black like Garrett, and anyone could spot you. (Wish I had all that
    damn thief like stuff!)

    41) You can do a perfect impression of Constantine, even when he reveals himself to you.
    "Viktoria, give mr. garrett his...compensation." (I scared my friends half to death doing

    DEMON Messiah:
    42) You find yourself creeping down the steet at night, getting really quiet and moving
    into the shadows when you hear someone approach (I love trench coats .
    43) You find yourself having uncontrolable urges to sneak into peoples rooms, then after
    you go in, hiding in the closet when they come home and sneaking back out when they
    leave or have thier back turned (No comment .
    44) You find yourself seriously weighing the benefits and consequences of actually
    becoming a thief, then remember your out of shape and just plain lazy (hehe).

    45) You are in the process of making love to your wife and right before she gives herself
    to you, you begin shouting in a deep, satanic voice, "Open for me!, Open for me!!, Open
    for MEEEEE!!! Thereby killing any chance of getting laid that evening.
    46) You are at church and the minister starts reciting the Ten Commandments. When he
    gets to the part, "Thou shalt not steal", you begin laughing hystericaly.
    47) You realize you haven't gotten your sweetheart anything for Valentines day, so you
    devise a plan to break into your local foundry at night to use the equipment so you can
    fashion her a nice little trinket. The resulting fire levels three city blocks.

    48) While in public places you note which people are carrying bows and which just have

    49) When you are standing behind one of your friends, and they turn around to talk to ya,
    ya bolt like your ass has been set on fire. Or ya scream like a lil girl and start smacking
    them on the head with a blunt object repeatedly until ya kill 'em.
    50) Ya stock up on holy water just before you go to a family reunion, just encase your
    relatives get ya cornered.

    51) (Already used this one in an earlier post but I like it) : You imitate the drunk guards to
    entertain your kids
    52) You start carrying around a thick blanket to muffle your footsteps on noisy surfaces
    53) When you are sneaking through the shadows and are seen you run for the nearest
    water source but for some reason nobody follows you
    54) When confronted with an enemy you try to lead them to someone else and pray that
    they will kill each other
    55) you become afraid only of spiders that are bigger than your dog

    56 You try to lean round corners in real life and quake 2

    57) It becomes very difficult to do homework because when you go to pick up your book
    it doesn't glow...(same thing with doors, I haven't been able to leave this room since I got
    Thief. Luckily the computer is in here)
    58) And when you finally DO pick it up you are confused when you don't find loose sheets
    of parchment paper inside.

    59) When you walk into your house when you come home, the first words that pop into
    your head are, "Stay in the shadows, avoid the light"

    59) You follow the postman after he has delivered your post to see whih depot he came

    60) when your looking for that munchie you know you hid in the fridge you start
    muttering "Don't make me come and find you"

    61) You seriously consider carrying out the scenario mentioned in the MartThief thread.
    (for those who may have missed this thread, try here:[ST_rn=qs]/getdoc.xp?AN=418371260&CONTEXT=91894501

    62) When ever you hear a car alarm go off, you pull out your sword and dash for the

    63) when you wife/husband/kid starts walking through the house calling your name and
    you shut down your monitor (lights are already off) and duck into a near by closet holding
    your kids sock'em bop'em and mubbling to yourself. "Don't turn around, just don't turn

    64) While attending a funeral, the crowd becomes horrified as you go to remove the
    deceased from the coffin and carry him down the hall. When the police officer asks you
    what the hell you thought you were doing, you calmly explain to him that you couldn't
    allow the corpse to be laying out in the open for everyone to see.

    As soon as you finish playing another 3 hours of Thief, you
    65) are momentarily blinded when you turn on the lights in your room and...
    66) You cringe and look for a place to hide when you hear your EXTREMELY loud
    family speaking...

    67) You start unscrewing light bulbs in your house so the other people can't "relight the
    torches" and you

    68) You start seeing ghosts
    69) AND you also start seeing Ghosts

    70) and wherever you post, the "ghost" always haunts you!

    71) You kill dead things and they get right back up!

    72) You often find yourself contemplating the wooden beams above your head...

    73) because Cococlown screwed up and posted a double #59! Anyway, here's what I have
    to say.
    74) You paint the Trickster's symbol on your forehead and wear false horns and yellow
    contact lenses daily.

    Coco Clown:
    75) You get REALLY frustrated when playing other FPS's (Half Life in particular at the
    moment) and curse the designers for not including rope arrows (I LOVE those).

    76) Your father belches at the dinner table and you hightail it out of there before all those
    little circles drop your framerate to 2fps.

    77) you go to your local graveyard hoping to find lots of silver and gold hidden in a
    gigantic burial complex.
    78) You actually own a blackjack/lockpicks/bow/etc

    Just acause Ayes does own some the aforementioned tools does not mean Aye plays to
    much. In fact Aye'' ave yer know that Aye learned to pick locks in the army, an lots o'folks
    have bows. Many normal people creep around at night without any bad intent at all. Its
    just a hobby like stamp collectin er raisin tropical fish (oh Aye said fish, easy friend yer'll
    get out o'the water. An Ayes sorry about offerin to shoot yer in the throat)

    79) yer starts to talk about Garret's hairstyle.

    80) you start talking kanadian, like cadfael does

    81) You rig up a little rubberband bow and shoot paperclips at your cat, trying to guess at
    how much the paperclip hurts in different areas.
    82) You start participating in "100 ways to tell you've been playing too much Thief"

    83) You forgets your realname and signs with Garret - Theif
    84) You desperatly uses: Lynx a txt-only browser for Linux, to get past the school firewall
    and post a reply at this forum

    85) When you're on the night watch, you try not to whistle, knowing this could provoke a
    violent attack.
    86) You rename your windows editor to 'DromEd' and pretend it's the real thing.
    87) You start designing your own levels.
    88) You share your levels with friends.
    89) You look up mantling in the dictionary.

    90) You take your new copy of Thief to a party and copy it onto your friend's computer,
    and then proceed to get drunker and drunker, as per the usual at parties, only you keep
    playing Thief, with messier results, until you're giggling hysterically and charging the front
    gate of Bafford's castle.

    91) like MarkA said in another thread (and like I've done many times) "This game is full of
    'Thief moments' that you'll probably find yourself telling to friends who could care less."

    92) Your kids get you in trouble by playing games like 'You be a thief, and I just made a
    big hammer'.
    (The SO just glared for minutes when she heard that. Sigh.)

    93) your watching tv when your 4 year old sneaks up behind you, whacks you in the head
    with a nerf bat, grabs the remote from your hand, switches the tv to the "Cartoon
    Network", then runs and jumps behind the couch then leans around the edge to see if you
    get up.
    94) when you go to the store at night and park your car in the darkest parking spot.
    95) while checking out at the store, you think to yourself, if I could only run that Thief
    trainer for unlimited money, and smile.

    96) You replay entire levels in your head in perfect detail while trying to go to sleep.
    97) while doing this you missed 100 loot and spend the next 2 hours retracing your steps
    (in your head).
    98) You FIND the missing 100 loot just before you doze off.

    99) You start to spend way too much time on Thief messageboards...
    100) You realize that there's no such thing as too much Thief!

    heehee... awww yeah.
    may need a couple more, due to repeats, but we done good. now who's going to record
    this for posterity?

    Ok, I know this one is over but I have
    101) You play entire levels of Thief in your head, trying to find the optimum time to move
    between guard patrols while having a vasectomy to take your mind off the ominous
    snipping sounds.
    102) When you see Catholic priests with their insence "bong", you hear it talking to you,
    telling you to release it from the hands of the oppressive fanatics.
    103) You drive with your headlights off, so that no one else will see you comming.
    104) You make a bunch of little hammerite dolls, then you stab them, and club them, and
    take them to a dark spot in the basement, and make a hammerite corpse pile, then laugh
    105) You spend 3 hours beating on the keeper that comes out to fence with you, and
    laugh so hard that you have a fatal heart attack.
    106) You pirate the game, after you have already bought it, just so that you can feel like
    you are stealing it.
    107) You start seeing ghosts around the house, but you don't worry cause your new
    sword can kill em up good.
    108) Much to your cat's dismay, you ambush him and blackjack him with a stuffed sock.
    109) You find yourself trying to climb on to your own roof, just to see if god made a
    mistake in the level.
    110) You compulsively post on top "whatever" lists about how insane you are.

    111) You start drawing maps of your friends house before you are going over for a visit.
    112) Before you visit your friend you sit in your dark room for hours, studying the maps,
    trying to find the best way in...
    113) ...only to find out that you cannot get out of your own room because the door will
    not light up when you look at it.
    114) You can`t understand why the homemade rope arrows you shoot in the ceiling will
    not hold you up when you try to climb them.
    115) When people ask you to do a favour, you try to see if they have hooves instead of
    legs. You can never know if some relative of Constantine comes to take revenge...
    116) You wonder if your old teacher is worth trying to kill, or if she just will get to her
    feet again and making moaning sounds.
    117) You grab people you dont like and drop them down small puddles of water to watch
    them drown.
    118) you cant understand why people start to curse and shout at you instead of attacking
    or dropping to the ground after you bumped them on the head with your homemade
    119) When you notice someone sees you sneaking around in the shadows, you wonder
    why they just stand there, looking weird at you instead of running for the guards or
    shouting for help.

    120) While on a weekend vacation you stress about the fact that in 2 days of not checking
    this board you will come back and there will be about 500 new messages to read.

    121) While playing AD&D you are asked to make a map of the cave system you just
    entered. At the heart of the cave (and after collecting the loot) your companions ask for
    the map in an effort to find the way out again. You produce only a piece of paper with a
    large circle drawn on it, it's labeled: CAVE. After receiving several threatening glares you
    reply in complete innocence, "What?"
    (I just love the blank looks your friends give you when they ask where the automap is in
    Thief and you show them that rough square with a blue patch on it.)

    122) ....You forget and let your beer get hot while playing!!!!!God help us all!

    123) You're standing in a nice big double doorway in a bit of a shadow. Your friend walks
    by with his back to you and begins to whistle, and you have the uncontrollable urge to
    thwack him upside the head. (true story, actually )

    124) You envy your pet snakes because they don't have to get up and go down the hall to
    use the bathroom...and they only have to go once a week.
    Kyran Ward:
    125) You become genuinely irritated when someone turns on the light and interrupts your
    game. You then get increasingly more and more frustrated as they yammer on and on
    about the so-called "real world."
    126) You find yourself unconsciously humming that eerie tune the Hammerites are always
    127) You know every single nook and cranny of the Bafford Mansion by heart because
    you played through that godforsaken place over and over and over again in the demo
    while you waited in frustrated agony for the local gaming store to at long last acquire a
    copy of Thief.
    128) You sometimes reload saved games of Thief several times just to replay specific
    successful dispatchments of guards. ("Now I'll try a fire arrow/gas mine combination...")
    129) You eat a loaf of bread and wonder why it doesn't sound like an apple when you bite
    into it.
    130) When you aren't playing Thief, you're on the internet looking up Thief-related
    131) You join this forum just so you can contribute to this damn list.

    132) You can understand Cadfael.

    133) (May already have been used!) You decide one day to actually play a traditional FPS
    after days of playing Thief, and get your sorry rear end smacked around soundly because
    you were too busy trying to sneak up quietly on a group of headcrabs from Half-Life.
    (Happened to me last night )

    134) At dinner, you find a strangely shaped roll and lift it up - and your friend already
    knows that it's shaped exactly like a blackjack.

    135) You pluck out your own eyeball just to see if you retain full vision like Garrett.
    136) During the daylight hours you collect;
    a.your farts for your gas arrows
    b.moss from the trees in your yard
    c.water in zip-lock baggies
    d.tooth floss (and twist it into rope)for your rope arrows
    e.your kid's pinwheel noisemakers for those useless noisemaker arrows
    f.paper clips to be fasioned into lock picks
    g.keys for which everone has forgotten where they are used (doesn't everyone have all
    these old keys lying in some drawer or box, with the hopes that one day we'll remember
    what they went to?)

    137) You try and decide whether it would be better to "jack" your boss in the back of the
    head or go for the backstab damage (hmmmm, can't remember if I'm playing Expert or
    Normal difficulty).
    138) You find yourself practicing picking all the locks in your house.
    139) You find yourself pointing at objects in the distance, and waiting for your eyes to
    starting "zooming" in on them.
    140) You start perusing the local pawnshops hoping to make good contacts or find
    someone named Cutty.
    141) Get lost while driving and try looking in the glove box for that walkthrough you
    downloaded "just-in-case".

    142) You buy a TNT card for that authentic Pitch Blackness.
    143) You wear slippers on all occasions, to make less noise.
    144) You throw out all clothes that aren't black.
    145) You wrap your keys and small change in foam so they won't jingle and give you
    away to your close family.
    146) You cut down the tree outside your house and unplug everything in your house so
    you can hear the guards' footsteps.

    147) You read all 146 clues and conclude that you have been playing thief way to much!

    148) You hear the baby cry in the middle of the night and dream that you creep
    downstairs, shoot a gas arrow at the dresser next to the crib, then assume the problem is
    taken care of so you fall deep asleep again, and are really baffled when you actually wake
    up a few minutes later because he is still crying.

    DEMON Messiah:
    149) You can pick a lock in real life faster than Garett can in the game. (You started
    'cause you wanted to be like him, but now you think you'd make an even better thief than
    him, until you try to get into a room full of people and find out that it's really, really hard
    to stay unnoticed. Damn people, too untrusting these days.)

    150) you spend Ģ120 in a 3d card while being incredibly overdrawn (Ģ800)and will not get
    any money for 2 months...ahhhh!

    151) Playing Return to Cathedral and going to get some water only to feel a hand pulling
    your arm at 5AM

    152) You realize that you keep your breath when Garrett is diving in the weird water thing
    in Maw of Chaos - and you dont dare to gasp for air until he left the water because you
    fear to drown. When you dont make the jump in the first try, some of your brain cells die a
    horrible death caused by oxygen deficieny.
    153) You decide to search for the sentence with the word "doetten" in your local
    snd.crf-file and find it immediatly, because you know the meaning of "ab1a3na5.wav" and
    must only listen through 6 files to get the right one.

    (And you realize that you spent too much time in this forum when you join this thread.)

    154) horrible mouse pad burns on you bottom fo your right pinky finger.
    I cant belive this post is still kicking!

    155 The arrow keys on the keypad don't pop back up when pressed. Hah!! Post # 100 !!!!!

    156) You are on a thread that exceeds 100 posts..

    157) You steal your kidīs plastic sword and carry it with you wherever you go, just in

    158) you're running down the hallway (in the game) and see a guard, at the same time as
    you pull garret back into the shadows you lean back in your chair and hold your breath so
    he doesn't see or hear you...i've caught myself doing if you pay attention to your
    movements while playing you will too =P

    159) You stack TEN! boxes on top of each other just to get to that space above the
    balcony that those archers stand on in the Manor.

    Kyran Ward:
    160) No matter where you are, you stop anyone who asks you something mid-question
    and ask "Wait, in Thief?"

    161) Ten boxes takes a lot of work to stack.
    (I just went up the stairs myself.)

    162) You pick up a book, and are confused when it is longer than one page, and reads

    163) You acually remember your password to this forum
    164) Your friends thinks that you have died, cause they donīt see you anymore.
    165) You steal everything thay ainīt nailed to the floor
    166) You sleep croutching becource you canīt lay down

    167) Some folk tells yer what it be and what it aint yer right to do and yer thinks to yerself
    "that be Hammerspeak if ever Aye heard it."

    168) You wish Quake2 and Half-Life had a blackjack, so you could knock some guy out
    and drag him away to put him in your "casualties-of-war" pile. {Ha! take that camper)

    Dog Ma:
    169 Despite your best intentions, you find you are having sexual fantasies about Viktoria.

    170) You've read the previous 169 clues and if you aren't already doing them you
    think,"Hey, I should try that..."
    171) You wonder how all these people on some odd and obscure internet forum know
    your every move... they've been watching from shadows better than your own!
    172) If they don't talk like Cadfael, you don't know what they're saying.
    173) You have a nervous breakdown at school, because there is absolutely nowhere to
    174) You found this forum in the first place.
    175) You've bought copies for your friends, free of charge, just so they'll know what
    you're raving about.
    176) You have a net party, get all your friends down and hooked up to your hub, all set to
    play a multiplayer shooter, but instead all load up thief and race each other.
    177) If you step in a puddle or anything deeper, you are suddenly unable to fully utilize
    your hands...
    178) It's midnight, cloudy, the blinds are closed, there's not a light in the house, you're
    wearing black clothing and sunglasses, and it's still not dark enough for you!
    179) You've been treated on several occasions for injuries recieved while climbing rope
    arrows fashioned from those little plastic suction cup play bows.
    180) You spend every second of every day obsessing over thief, and if someone tries to
    change the subject, you throw a vase to the floor to distract them and then beat them
    181) You have recently acquired both a criminal record and a court order to attend
    182) You write Thief poetry:
    I stole my neighbor's car last night,
    after playing my new computer game.
    He was evil so it's alright
    but this poem is pretty lame.

    183) You have "(Your Name) + Viktoria, 4Ever" tattooed on your ass. Well, Viktoria or
    Garrett, depending on your gender or preference.
    184) You only recently learned that 'theif' is incorrect. Thief.. i before e, except if you're
    me, at which point bad habits stay with you forever.
    185) You've read a ton of these clues and still manage to come up with a few original
    186) Your portfolio for the university art department scholarship consists only of
    Thief-inspired pieces... (wish me luck- hopefully the head of the department owns the
    game... if not.. think I should buy him one? Would that be construed as bribery? Help!)
    187) The real world is simply a cutscene.
    188) You've spent the last 3 weeks trying to create realistic Theif models in
    3DStudioMax, but can't get his hood to look right!
    189) You get the hood to look right.
    190) The paintjob on your car is the same as the box cover, and you now call your auto
    the 'ThiefMobile of Ultimate Stealth", even though something on the axle is loose and it
    wakes everyone in the neighborhood when you start it up to run to the store at 4AM to
    get a frozen pizza 'cause you're really hungry but want something simple and tasty.
    Mmm.... frozen pizza...
    191) The nightshift at the store knows your name.
    192) You stop believing in God because the guy in church preaches that computer games
    are the tool of the devil.
    193) You can't remember what job it is that you were recently fired from... did I even have
    a job? Maybe I'm supposed to be in school... What are these divorce papers? I was
    194) Your computer crashes, all of your taxes are lost, all of your homework, all of your
    business records... but you don't care, because you backed up your Thief savegames.
    195) You've programmed your own version of Thief onto your school calculator (those of
    you with Texas Instruments graphing calculators know what I'm talking about).
    196) You write an expert level walkthru, all loot included, in half an hour without even
    turning the game on. And it's accurate.
    197) You name your baby Garrett. Your baby is female, but you don't care...twitch... it's
    name is Garrett! End of conversation. Ok, I'll consider Viktoria. But then she'll grow up
    evil, I tell you, evil!
    198) You've removed every unneccessary key from your keyboard so that they don't get in
    the way.
    199) You luv your fellow forum members enough to let someone else have the number
    200. xoxo

    200) When chatting with Boojum or EvilSpirit, you put the picture of Laura or Tim from
    the credits in freeze frame so it seems like you're teleconferencing.

    201) U go insane when someone comes up with a secret that u did not know.
    202) U have acually found all the loot at The Bonehoard, The Sword and Escape!
    203) When you actually have nothing more to post here, but post anyway just to get this
    topic to the top of the list.
    204) Everytime your dog turns toward you, you dive for cover, expecting a spray of
    noxious gas to spew forth from the lil pup.
    205) You have to stop yourself from robbing the church while everyone is in the chapel.
    206) You start stealing things from yourself, just to see if you can get away with it, then
    realizing the strangness of this, just shrug and drink some more shroom tea.
    207) You sneak up on someone in a well lit room only to be dissapointed that it wasn't
    your skill that allowed you to suceed, it was the fact that they were totally deaf.
    208) You go to the beach and build sand castles and dedicate them to the Builder.
    209) You wake up and see your family in the hall, and thinking they are ratmen/apemen,
    you blackjack them and scream, "Can't smell me now can you!!".
    210) You start thinking of people on this forum as family, and occasionally call your real
    family, "RedEye", or "Ghost", or "boojum", etc..
    211) When sneaking up on someone in the game, you swing your blackjack at them, then
    cursing your stupidity as you hit your monitor with your homemade blackjack.
    212) You freak out when you are taking a trip and you look at the road map, and are
    certain that it must be a trick, as no one would make a map with this much detail without
    some sort of hidden agenda.
    213) You have to go talk to your boss, and you suddenly picture him as Constantine, and
    freak out as he changes. Then you end up living in your car.
    214) You go to a police academy, but you fail because in the shooting gallery, you keep
    sneaking up on the pop-up bad guys, and trying to club them with the butt of your gun, so
    it doesn't make as much noise.
    215) Someone comes to rob your house, and you discover them, and tell them that you
    are going to have to call the gaurds if they don't stop blundering this job so bad.
    216) When playing Armored Fist2, you try to "sneak" you tank column right up behind the
    enemy tanks, artillery, anti-tank towers, and fire-base. You die.

    217) You KO every guard in Constantine's house and drag them all outside JUST to take
    a screenshot of them.

    218) You feel you can no longer stand the needless burrik slaughter and set up the FBI:
    Foundation for Burrik Inshrinement So WHO'S WITH ME!!!!!

    219) You walk around your house around 6 pm mumbling to yourself, "... when are they
    gonna bring me my dinnner? That's what I wanna know is when are they gonna bring me
    my dinner??..."

    220) You join Catfishs FBI.
    221) You wish you had a pet Burrick in your cellar.
    222) You buy lots ot Lovecraft stories and read them in only one day.
    223) You decide at 1:00 a.m. that you want to play RTC now, because you think now that
    this is one of the greatest maps of the game.
    224) You decide that you dont want to finish that map in the easy way now, because the
    long way is scarier and because the night is still young.

    225) Plastic surgery to look like your favorite Looking Glass employee. (Be afraid,
    EvilSpirit. Be very afraid.)
    226) You refuse to post further 'top 1000 clues' messages because that would waste
    valuable Thief-playing time.
    227) You post another one anyway, just because you can.

    228) ... and at 6:15 a.m. you decide that Murus is the one and only problem in RTC - he
    caused you to deal this much damage. (329 dealt, that is too much!). You decide that you
    will try the map again, and then grab every loot before stealing eye. When you lock the
    main entrance (5 minutes before stealing the eye), you will be able to use the entrance as
    exit. No Murus = no damage dealt.

    229) You understand what Lytha is talking about in #228
    230) You challenge someone to a foot race and are beaten badly so you ask for a rematch
    this time with your opponenent wearing heavy armor and carrying a heavy sword when
    you lose a second time you call him a cheater grab his sword and try to kill him. Your
    unarmed oppenent promptly kicks your ass (of course)
    231) You see a spider on the floor and decide to kill it with a rolled up newspaper. You
    swat at it and miss high. You try again this time taking careful aim considering all possible
    variables, and you miss low. After swatting at it 50 or 60 times the spider jumps over your
    head and bites you in the ass.

    232) You don't just have a dream about Thief, you dream you are wandering around a
    Thief-like world underground, and it's not just a dream, it's a full-fledged toss and turn,
    wake up sweaty and horrified /nightmare/ that sticks with you for days, and somehow
    involves having to backstab Minsc from Baldur's Gate. Man, what a weird, weird
    dream....Remind me never to play any level set after The Sword late at night again...oy.

    233) Too much Thief, how can you have too much Thief???

    234) Your monitor starts to freak but you don't worry 'cause playing "blind thief" could be
    the next big challenge.
    235) and thinking about vision, you realize how appropiate it is you have no VR glasses
    because Garret has lost his depth vision anyway - or one of the glasses would have to go

    And you think of looking up the rights words in your Foley/van Dam for a posting on this


    237) You play indeed the last 3 maps with absolutly no Gamma to get the half-blind
    238) You finish the game once again. You enjoy yourself and hop up and down like a
    coward, just because you managed it with only 826 damage dealt in the whole game.
    239) You feel so great and skilled now that you decide to play once again, this time as
    "Garrett - The psychopathic mass murderer".

    240) When you sleep at night shadows of burricks , monkey men, Hammerites begin to
    dissolve out of the walls. You slowly pull your teddy bear out from under your pillow and
    attack the evil demons that have come to inavade your life, you hit you hit until no more.

    241) You've memorized Ramirez's pattern around his room so well that you can follow
    him around and never get caught.
    242) You can repeat Ramirez's monologue verbatim.
    243) You know Constantine's entire incantation ritual.

    The Magpie:
    244) You find yourself looking for glowing mushroom tea when you're out shopping.
    245) Since you don't find any, you add some fabric softener to your regular tea and drink
    it under a fluorescent lamp to simulate the effect.
    246) You consider writing a Lonely Planet guide to The City.
    247) When swimming, you no longer dare to dive beneath the surface because the little
    green bubbles have vanished.

    248) At work again, you are finally able to frighten some of your users in the local domain
    by sneaking into their offices without getting seen - until you are just beneath them.
    249) Your co-workers say that you changed whilst your vacancy, and that such a long
    vacancy might not be good for you. (I really have to finish my psychic runthrough...)
    250) You are part of a strange love triangle in this forum.

    251) You suddenly have a newfound respect for the stealth and tactics of O.J. Simpson, so
    you decide to give him a call to get some pointers. "Okay, so you reccomend a black ski
    cap, black leather gloves, and Bruno Mahli shoes..., I'll be sure to try those out on my next
    mission." (This is assuming you can get in touch with him, he's probably still busy hunting
    down the "real killers".
    252) You will wear no shoes other than black wrestling shoes, for that extra bit of stealth
    they provide. (I am guilty of this one)
    253) You work in what was once a mid 19th century armory, and you sometimes are there
    to close the place up and arm the security system, at which time you practice sneaking
    past the motion detectors. (I do work in a building like this, haven't tried beating the
    motion detectors, though).
    254) No matter where you are, you always note which doors and floorboards creak when
    opened/stepped on.

    255) "Laptop at your own mother's funeral" mean anything to anyone? And during the
    'moment of silence', you start crying uncontrollably... because you didn't put the bridge
    across in Lost City...
    256) Another Thief poem:
    I have a wallet that isn't mine
    and all new credit cards, too.
    Used the cash for a parking fine
    On the car I stole in #182.

    257) You've got at least one copy of this list on your HD for "backup purposes," or for
    easy access, so you can...
    258) You use these clues as a checklist of things to do.

    259) Whenever you blackjack someone, you jump so that you get the cool stat
    "Knockouts while airborne" at the debriefing screen.
    260) Whenever you blackjack someone, you jump so that you get the cool stat
    "Knockouts while airborne" on you Police Record.

    261) In Vegas or with friends, you can't take blackjack seriously... you always sneak up
    behind friends and try to hit 'em with the jack of clubs.

    262) When you walk up to walls while sneaking around in school because your sluffing.
    You think you can lean out as far as you want without being seen

    263) Another (sing this to Blues):
    The patch won't work, but I don't care,
    'cause none of my sorrows will it repair.
    With Hardware On, the walls turn white,
    realized on level 2 that this wasn't right.
    I've got a 3dlabs chipset permedia 2;
    When oh when is the next fix-it due?
    Oh I got da blues.... yeah, videocard blues.

    God I'm sick. That one was the worst yet...

    264) You jump at the sound of your own voice.
    265) When you're rearranging your furniture and such, you're puzzled by the fact that you
    can't get it to float just above the ground.
    266) You are unable climb into bed. You have to get a running start and leap into it.
    267) You replace your nice soft matress with one of wood.

    268) You find your name in the Topic of at least 2 actual threads in the forum.

    269) U canīt think of any other method to pick up girls, than releasing their brothers from
    270) U dig up the graves at the local garveyard, searching for the golden ribcage. (Where
    is it?????)

    271) You started a thread entitled "1000 clues that you have been playing thief way to
    much ........" and actually checked the "Check here to be notified by email whenever
    someone replies to your topic." option.

    272) Are amazed and puzzled to look down and see feet.

    273) You turn the forum into a multiplayer site
    274) Or the final battleground of Good and Evil...

    275) You notice strange real-life Thiefy-things (whoa! the pittsburgh penguins' coach is
    named Constantine! - kinda weak, but i like it anyway - and none of you can get rid of it!
    nanny-nanny-boo-boo! ;Þ) (shddup, DN )
    276) Your favorite scene in Analyze This was where the guy whipped out a blackjack, just
    277) You get the crazy idea that it would be better to play Thief hung over so you're more
    sensitive to light .

    278) You go to the movies with a pocket full of blackjacks and bludgeon people who
    cruncha their popcorn too loud, haha. I swing the blackjack in the dark *swish* who it'll
    hit nobody knows. OOoof! There one hit!

    279) You attempt to bring Thief into other games! (Namely EverQuest )

    280) You are annoyed by a User at work. You decide that you should plan a revenge.
    Somehow, only Thief-like methods of revenge come into your mind: I.e. follow him to his
    home, grab his GoldCSticks, get some incriminating evidence.
    281) You spent almost every lunchtime by discussing with your colleague whether Thief
    has great graphics or not. You do this since amost 4 weeks now.
    282) You make this colleague indeed believe that Thief has great graphics.

    283) Your cat just came out of a coma because you forgot to consider weight as a factor
    when you made a "Homemade" gas mine a little too strong...oooops

    284) You start to look for ways into peoples houses when on your paper round.
    285) You start to decide what equipment from the DIY boc you cn use as substitute
    swords and blackjacks.
    286) You start to ask yourself, would I really kill?

    287) You find yourself frantically trying to finish something because you hear footsteps
    coming down the hall.
    288) You make a Windows theme where all the sounds are mapped to random giggles.
    289) You turn away from a door as a guard walks by because you're afraid he'll see the
    290) You spend an hour trying to see if it is possible to blackjack a large spider.

    291) You chuckle while reading this thread, because even though you have actually done
    some of the things mentioned, you know YOU dont have a problem.

    Hmm.. only 9 more to 300. Let's see, here's one...
    292) You walk outside, see this bright orange ball in the sky and say "What the hell is

    293) After upgrading to a new 3d card (up from voodoo1 4mb to voodoo2 16 mb), you
    start up the game (replaying "sword") and seriously consider never playing again because
    it looks like the local "pd" are overhead shining their lights right on you, and you are
    getting REAL nervous about the lack of shadows. You can't just be happy that the picture
    is SOOOO much better, all you can think is

    294) Just to see if you can do it, you spend 45 minutes firing rope arrows into the ceilings
    on RTC and then jumping from one to another. You achieve nothing but prove to yourself
    it can be done.
    295) After reading stupidly innane and pointeless ideas like the aforementioned, you
    actually try them out for youself.

    296) While at work, you spend more time reading the Thief forum than you do working!
    297) While at home, you spend more time reading the Thief forum then actually playing

    I guess I should finally add to this thread.
    298) If you go to school. When at school, you try to walk very slowly and quietly in hopes
    of not getting caught by the Tafferized pricipal fpr being late. And when you get caught
    you wonder if Garrett had the sa,e trouble? Hmmm
    PS I HAVE done this.

    299) Do you know how long it takes to read a month's worth of threads???!!?

    300 Yeehah!!) On EVERY SINGLE level you run around looking for crates and low
    walls to stack them against, and wooden walls/beams to shoot rope arrows into...... You
    KNOW theres nothing up there (most of the time, lost city) but you cannot resist taking a
    301) In a fit of redecorating, you go out and buy lots of crates and barrels. But, not the
    large barrels because you can't find anything sufficiently indestructable.
    302) You nail all your furniture to the floor because you're disturbed by how easily it
    303) You nail some chairs to the ceiling.
    304) You insist on putting out the dinner candles with a squirt gun. From the doorway, on
    the other side of the room.
    305) You feel compelled to reach the end of this thread without having to kill it.
    Heh heh.. this thread is cool! Did you know that if you keep adding to a thread it will
    eventually explode?
    306) While talking with co-workers, you realize that you are referring to your boss as "the
    307) You sit down in front of your computer at work, and, without thinking, start
    searching for your Thief CD to pop in the drive. Then you remember that 1) you have
    work to do, and 2) your work computer is a Mac
    308) You ditch work to go home and play Thief.
    309) Angry that "the Sir" terminated your employment for walking out, you sneak into his
    house in the middle of the night and club him on the back of the head while he's counting
    his money in the basement.

    310) You edit the startup and shutdown graphics on your computer so that they are
    cutscenes from Thief.
    P.S. If you want to do this, the files you need to edit are logo.sys, logow.sys, and
    logos.sys. They are hidden, system, read-only files but that's easy to change with Windows
    P.P.s. I have really done this. It looks so cool.

    311) When you boot up your computer it automatically loads Thief.

    Good idea. Lets continue this thread, until the red spiders invade again.
    310) You have in this moment 6 non-finished runthroughs of Thief where you play the
    extreme sub-types of Thieves. You know that you will probably never find an end,
    because the "Assassin"-typus (kill ony one target, carry the victim to weird places; sneak
    around the others in the "Lytha-way") proves to be great fun, and you can't stop imaging
    trickier targets and locations (Ramirez into the Home turf?)

    Do you realise that this thread has more posts than any of the non-LGS forums on this
    domain? This is insane!! It suits us perfectly!
    311) You lend someone Thief, then get so frustrated with not being able to play it that you
    download BOTH demos. At 1.6 kbps.

    Hi! This is my first post here. I have not bought Thief but...
    312) You had a dream of a glorious blackjacking party...
    313) You dreamt of playing thief, and dreamt of fumbling to reload when you were
    discovered by a guard during your dream-game of thief! And you dreamt of heaving a
    sight of relief when you successfully reloaded your dream-game before the guard cuts you
    P.S. I only played the demos, but I had both dreams not 6 hours ago q8-7
    P.S.S. I wonder what would have happened if I was actually killed by the guard in my
    dream-game... Maybe I would have woken up screaming...

    LOL... rock-crawler, i'm about to do #293 (new video card) - maybe i'll actually be able to
    play Thief on my machine now. my roommate should be really happy about that...
    314) You return to the board and are ... speechless to find this thread still alive and
    kicking. It's worse than a zombie!

    315) You add something to the list just for the sheer hell of it, hoping to keep the thread
    active because you want some new ideas for things to do in RL!

    316) You spend ages with the approach to do funny patterns with unconcious bodies.
    317) You spend ages on Baffords with carrying the assassinated corpse of your target
    over the roof, just to drop it in the entrance-area of the mansion. (Only because you want
    to test your newest playing style, the "Assassin.")

    318) Chore list consits of: I have planned a simple job for this evening. Break into a
    guarded mansion steal anouther.....
    319) You free a convicted fellon from jail just for the sheer hell of it. Then when hes free u
    club him and put him back where u found him.. all without alerting anybody!!!!

    320) Everytime you come into this particular forum, you hear an unearthly moan from
    somewhere near your feet, and the smell of rotting flesh invades your nostrils, there is a
    sudden shuffling from somewhere REALLY CLOSE behind you, and you wish you hadn't
    wasted all your holy water trying to kill the "how are you supposed to become a
    member?" thread. Yes folks, this is truly the forum from hell. Very undead, and bound to
    make to make you wake, screaming, in the dark of night as you realize that, yes you too
    have one more contribution to make........

    321) You've memorized all of the guards sayings. You even have the motions down. Now
    you're working on making your voice sound like several different people for that extra bit
    of realism.
    322) You contemplate digging a tunnel from the bottom of your swimming pool to your

    Fingers Ferkin:
    323) You join a forum where everyone is much more experienced at THIEF than you are
    and you think you know what they're on about...

    324) You constantly shush your friend who's sitting beside you making comments on the
    game while you're playing Thief, and you keep saying "Shhh! They'll hear you talking!
    Shut up!" over and over again to your friend.

    325) You help found a guild in EverQuest called the Keepers and actually continue and
    spend time doing it.

    Creslin: Hey, that was my line! And already used!
    326) You awaken in the morning with a keyboard imprint on your face and a zombie
    approaching you. And your reflexes are still good enough to vanish before he notices you!

    Okay, I found these at the bottom of the barrel...
    327) You Find yourself getting nervous whenever you're carrying anything shiny in your
    328) You start breaking into the local church dressed up as an altar boy.
    329) You find yourself wishing your friends would stand closer together so you wouldn't
    have to waste gas arrows.
    330) Whenever you finish a difficult task at work, you find yourself hitting "F11."
    331) Whenever you get near a graveyard, you keep wishing for a mission with more live
    332) You go into funhouses looking for magic swords.
    333) You keep sneaking into the local power grid center to shut the streetlights off.
    334) At your doctor's appointment, you look for the display with the line of little shields to
    see how healthy you are.
    335) A close friend dies and you find yourself fretting about what new objectives you
    336) You find yourself looking for hidden levers while in church.
    337) When you get your paycheck, you start speculating about how many water arrows
    you can buy with it.
    338) One confused night at a casino leaves you with a pile of unconscious card dealers.
    339) One word: kleptomania.

    Secret thief weapon: poprocks and a can of pepsi,
    Gordon Lightfoot
    Registered Member, Guild of Thieves,
    Burglars, Housebreakers and Allied Trades
    113 Treacle Street, Ankh-Morpork

    340) You spent an absolute fortune on converting expensive oak arrows to hold small
    capsules of water on the end and when asked "What are we going to do with these?" you
    reply "I dunno, toss em into a well or somthing"

    341) You find yourself trying to fill one of these lists.
    342) You finally succeed in killing the list, only to realise that you've failed the

    343) You've just read through 342 entries in one go and you want more!
    344) You havn't even finished the game yet (Up to THC) and you want the Level Editor
    to come out
    345) Thief is the first fullprice game you've ever bought because you were so impressed
    and hooked on the demo (true!)

    346) While visiting someone's home, you spy a pair of golden candlesticks and your
    immediate reflex is to "right-click" on them. (actually happened to me yesterday!)

    You make post #347.

    (Sorry if these have been done already but I don't have time to read all of these entries)
    348) You have no dishes left in the house because you can't pick one up without throwing
    it against the wall.
    348) You are the only person in your neighborhood with an electric bill of $0.
    349) You find yourself stealing things from your own house.
    350) You carry a compass around with you all the time.
    351) You can eat an apple, bread, cheese, whatever in less than a second.
    352) You don't really read this's just for show.
    That's all for now.....................

    Yeesh, those really sucked. Let's see if I can do worse...
    353) You think this board is just a really complicated walkthrough.
    354) You are playing right now.
    That was a classic, Tommyboy. Congrats.
    355) You find yourself referring to T:TDP in cultural and philosophical conversations.
    356) You lurk for hours in the shadows of the forum, waiting to hit the 10,000th post.
    There, I hear it coming... wait... wait... raise...
    357) having done that, you decide to pour yourself a tea. You notice your hands are
    slightly shaking from the adrenaline, just as if you were playing a difficult Thief mission.
    358) At 3:00 a.m. you realize that you have spent another 3 hours with the snd.crf. You
    prefer now additional to the classic "bkrun_1.wav" the sound files "vikgig4.wav" and
    "m13str.wav." And of course the classic "fb1att_1.wav."
    359) And you learned in those last three hours how to giggle like "vikgig3.wav" and to
    laugh like "hh1a3_6.wav". Now you are looking forward to test it Tuesday, at work.
    360) You find yourself singing the Lion King sound track because you're afraid of all the
    noises in RTC. (There's a lovely bunch of coconuts diddlidy.... here they come a'dancing in
    the rain
    361 You're experiencing severe withdrawal and are becoming more and more
    manic-depressive because you made the mistake of lending Thief to someone 7 days, 2
    hours and 38 minutes ago... and now they won't give it back
    362) You go around in a very big cloak that you made out of navy blue bedsheets and
    make arrows with wooden heads out of twigs that you chase your pets around the house
    with pelting yelling "Who's the taffer now, bitch?"
    364) You back into a defensive crouch when you see a lizard because you are afraid it will
    breathe toxic gas on you and everyone laughs at you...What? This didn't happen to
    everyone else?
    365) You walk into a jewelry store and manage to steal a gold chain only to get busted
    trying to sell it to an undercover cop who you thought was a "fence" then you get thrown
    in solitary for trying to pick the lock to your cell.
    366) You realise this thread will never truly die as long as there are newbies to keep it
    alive, like the 4 above. It does my thieving heart good to see the old traditions handed
    down from "The Elders" to "The Novices".
    367) You win one of those small souvenir baseball bats at the end of the year dorm party.
    The next morning you hear screams coming from your roommate's closet where a pile of
    unconscious bodies have been stashed. You raise your new blackjack...
    368) You start waiting for the next clue while still connected to the internet.
    369) You look for you'r health bar
    370) You buy a gem that works like the one in thief. You then find out that the gem didn't
    work and break into the store at night to get more gem's just to see if they work too.
    Well.. I hope these haven't been brought up before
    371) Horrified, you realise you've thought of a spin on this thread that you don't think's
    been posted yet, so are compelled to gird yourself with the shovel of Search and exhume
    its decaying, flyblown carcass yet one more time.
    372) After many failed attempts you would finally have mastered sneaking into
    work/school/the exercise yard late, if it weren't for the fact you've been too preoccupied
    with Thief to bathe for a month so colleagues/classmates/fellow inmates can smell you at
    20 yards.
    373) You consider reinstalling Thief just so you can find the zombie head everyone talks
    The Thiefster:
    374) you throw a vase and shocked that it shatters when it hits the floor.
    375) you jump in your pool and no air bubbles are seen to show how much air you have
    376) you jump off a two story house and die when landing instead of losing shields and do
    not make a grunt sound and get back up.
    377) you try to make a fire arrow but your bow turns into ashes and you get 2nd and 3rd
    degree burns.
    378) you shoot a dead corspe with holy water but surprised that the body does not
    The Thiefster:
    379) you read all of the replyes so you wont say somthing someone else has already said.
    380) you try to grab a key from someones belt from ten feet away and is suprised that the
    key does not glow so you give up and play thief to make yourself feel better.
    381) you here a alarm as you pass through a metal detecter and run to a dark area only to
    be arestted for possion of deadly weapons.
    382) You have a bad dream at night and you fell for your left eye and say "its gone
    383) When you see a person carrying a hammer on the rofing poject you run and jumpof
    the roof saying"you'll never take me alive".
    384) You steal your wifes weeding ring. and trade it in on a pair of lockpicks.
    385) When startled in public, you begin to whine like the (extreamly camp) servants.
    386) You begin planning darker and darker deaths for your friend, who has borrowed
    your copy of thief and STILL hasn't returned it.
    Master Assassin:
    387) you go out and buy a brand new sound card just to play Thief in all its glory (I got a
    Creative Labs AWE64 Value! its sic)
    388) u finally reply to this topic after spending 2 hours reading all the past ones - and then
    u plan on blackjacking the postman and stealing all his mail just so that you never recieve
    that humongous phone-bill :-)
    389) you design a Thief fan site and put loads of shameless plugs for it ABSOLUTELY
    Junkie Doodle:
    390) Daylight gives you a splitting headache.
    391) You spend hours in the bathtub experimenting with different underwater potions.
    392) You begin to look down upon people who make unnecessary sounds (and study your
    cat with great admiration).
    393) You catch yourself saying: "...and the Builder said" way too much.
    394) You're secretly in love with Victoria, but you don't know how to tell her.
    395) Your baby brother struggles mightily to reach the water fountain and you tell him,
    "Just MANTLE it!"
    396) Everytime you play basketball, you leave behind a scroll of personal quotes.
    397) You can't go swimming without diving down to find a tunnel.
    398) Your girlfriend sends you to 7-11 and you come back proudly displaying your "Big
    Gulp of Quintis".
    399) While at 7-11, you notice a rather large spill of cherry slurpee and quietly wish you
    had brought your water arrows.
    400) Still at 7-11..."those Slim Jims would make nice shafts for broadhead arrows"

    401) You feel an uncontrollable urge to post in this thread so it doesnīt disappear.
    I donīt know if this has been posted before, and frankly - I donīt care. The slider
    on the right side of my browser have never looked so intimidating...
    402) You don't freak out when you see giant spiders, zombies, and the such irl.
    403) You create a checklist of upgrades you want for your computer, just so you
    can enjoy thief moore
    404) You realize that you have bought almost all items on the checklist
    This might be a variation of earlier posts, but it's true for me. I have checked of
    new videocard, more memory, new speakers, new mousemat with wristrest and
    wristrest for the keyboard.
    Okay all of the following are the absolute truth, too ... :P
    405) Whenever you meet a friend you don't greet him with "Hi" or "Hello" but with
    "I can see you now, sneaksie!" or "Something moves!" (or any other Thief
    406) You keep telling all your friends that they should beware the dawn of the
    metal age.
    407) After blackjacking all the local policeofficers and carrying them to a nearby
    dark spot you find yourself shocked at them actually waking up again! (okay I lied
    about this one. I didn't do this ... yet )
    408) When your flatmate startles you while playing Return to the Cathedral, you try
    to blackjack her with your mouse
    409) are sure, I mean 100% positive that you are the only one home, yet
    you still turn your head away from the monitor to see if there is anyone behind you!

    To be a writer means to be a creator of worlds. You create the lives of people who never existed until the exact moment you started writing. It takes inginuity, it takes imagination, and it takes thought. I hold all of these traits, and that makes me gifted. Dont fear me because of my talents, but respect me and learn from my creations. I am a writer-creator of worlds.

    -Jonathan Sharpe

  3. #303


  4. #304
    Kyran Ward

    Why exactly did you do that, Pointdexter43? (You do realize that you've just re-posted the first four hundred reasons from this very list...?)

  5. #305

    Heh heh.
    That is pretty idiotic.
    *Cowers in fear of being wrathed upon*

  6. #306
    The Cloaked Wolf

    (Please feel free to correct me if I got the number wrong)

    #1623: You decide to dig up the sound sample of the music that the Horn of Quintus plays (you know, the notes that echo all throughout the main chambers that you follow in order to find it).

    #1624: You enjoy it so much that you turn it into a WAV.

    #1625: You enjoy the WAV so much that you use your CD burner to create an ENTIRE CD of nothing BUT that horn's song!

    #1626: You play it constantly, at home, at work, in the car, etc.

    #1627: Everyone who knows you (who are unfamiliar with the game) starts staring at you kind of strange... "Why the heck do you want to listen to THAT??"

    #1628: Everyone who knows you that IS familiar with the THIEF game starts staring at you in the same way!

    #1629: You write to a music company specializing in soundtracks and request them to create a "Horn of Quintus" CD.

    <+> The Cloaked Wolf <+>

  7. #307

    #1630 you re-post the first 400 on this thread.

    Sorry, couln't help it.

  8. #308

    Oops. Sorry about that. I was just posting the ones I had saved on my PC from a LONG time ago. Again, sorry bout that.

    To be a writer means to be a creator of worlds. You create the lives of people who never existed until the exact moment you started writing. It takes inginuity, it takes imagination, and it takes thought. I hold all of these traits, and that makes me gifted. Dont fear me because of my talents, but respect me and learn from my creations. I am a writer-creator of worlds.

    -Jonathan Sharpe

    [This message has been edited by Pointdexter43 (edited March 21, 2001).]

  9. #309

    #1631: When you call your girlfriend Victoria even though her name isn't Victoria.

    #1632: At school when those damn bullys are after you and you climb on the roof (which is your safe-haven for this kind of situation). While they stand there waiting for you to come down, you reach for a few (or maybe like 30) broadheads, but then you realize that you're not playing Thief and you feel like a dumbass.

  10. #310
    Thief William the Taffer

    This is "Thief William the Taffer" aka William the Taffer the creator of "The Eye of Ruthaford". you've been playing Thief too much when you spend dinner mulling over your plate and wondering if you will be able to survive the next fan mission.

  11. #311
    Registered: Feb 2000
    Location: Various barracks

    1634) You raise up this old thread from the depths of The Forum (with capital letters)

  12. #312
    Registered: Feb 2000
    Location: Various barracks

    1635) You still insist on posting these clues as seperate posts, because not only does it make your own post count higher, but it also bumps this thread up for a while longer.

  13. #313
    Registered: Feb 2000
    Location: Various barracks

    1636) You make your own blackjack

  14. #314
    Registered: Feb 2000
    Location: Various barracks

    1637) As the weight inside your leather blackjack outer cover, you use a doorknob attacked to a wooden shaft that is becoming the handle. As you are in the hardware shop finding a suitable doorknob, you wonder why the assistant gives you a funny look when you explain to her that you need a small hard spherical knob...

  15. #315
    Registered: Jul 1999
    Location: Between insanity and happiness

    3 of those have been said already Black.

  16. #316
    Registered: Feb 2000
    Location: Anywhere but here

    1638) You buy an Xbox solely for the purpose of playing Thief 3.

    1639) You are prepared to wait for the PC release.

    1640) You don't buy Thief 3, because you assume the Xbox conversion will be deeply disappointing.

    1641) You boycott the Xbox and Thief 3, because you don't want ION storm or Eidos to make any money.

    1642) You get a hacked copy of Thief 3 because you hate ION storm and Eidos and don't want them to make any money, but still want Thief 3.

    1643) You break into ION storm and steal all the Thief 3 stuff so they don't make any money at all AND you get Thief 3.

    1644) You brutally murder everyone even vaguely connected with the Thief 3 project.

    ~CyberFish, who is bitter about everything right now.

  17. #317
    Registered: Jul 1999
    Location: Los Angeles, CA

    AHHHHHHHH! Its still alive! AHHHHH

    well....if it must it must.

  18. #318
    Registered: May 2001
    Location: United States

    1645: You bite into a wedge of cheese, then hurl it across the room in frustration because it didn't sound like biting into apple.

    1646: You scream profanities whenever even a suggestion of sunlight touches your monitor -- even though you're at work.

  19. #319
    New Member
    Registered: Jun 2001
    Location: more than likely, sitting at my computer at gawd-awful hours of the night postin


    You've all said before that this thread can't die, so...

    1647. You've been so distracted by playing Thier I, Thief Gold, and Thief II for so long, that you have missed the first 1646 reasons.

    1648. You turn angrily to MrCroft and say, "Look at what you have done."

    1649. You look down at yourself and cry out, "Sweet Merciful Builder! What Have I done?"

    1650(YIPPEE!). Whenever you employ a devilishly clever strategy in any Thief game (Involving a blackjack, Lego Bricks, zombie torsos, and Mayonnaise), you attempt to explain it to your non-taffer friends. The look at you and laugh.

    1651. In your frustration, you attempt to draw them diagrams so they can understand.

    1652. Three words: midair heart attack.

    (Note: the last one really happened to me in T2: LotP, while jumping from rooftop to rooftop. In actuality, it was cool, because i keeled over backwards in midair, so I was looking up as I fell.)

    [ June 29, 2001: Message edited by: taffer w/money ]
    "Cease thy croaking and hop into view, vile toad!!"

    Official FinC (Flabberghaster in Chief) of Clan One Man Jam

  20. #320
    Registered: May 2001
    Location: Was over there. Now I'm here

    Originally posted by taffer w/money:
    1650(YIPPEE!). Whenever you employ a devilishly clever strategy in any Thief game (Involving a blackjack, Lego Bricks, and Mayonnaise), you attempt to explain it to your non-taffer friends. The look at you and laugh.

    1651. In your frustration, you attempt to draw them diagrams so they can understand.

    Nobody understands as we do.
    And they never will.
    Clan Larcenio Haul
    "We Haul Assets"

  21. #321

    Arr! Which taffer bumped this?

    1653: You give a class talk on "The rules of taffball"

    1654: You attempt to pursuade the pe department to let you play it instead of rugby.

  22. #322
    Registered: May 2001
    Location: Michigan

    1655 - When you come home from work, you pretend to visit the fridge, bathroom, and bedroom so your wife will think that you're everywhere else and not at the computer. When she's successfully fooled, you sneak off to play Thief.

    1656 - You're happy that Dromed looks like a developer's tool so you can leave it up all day and your boss never guesses.

    1657 - You're happy that your job requires you to have web browsers running so you can check the TTLG and Thief-theCircle forums at will.

  23. #323
    Registered: Jul 1999
    Location: Los Angeles, CA

    1658) You go back and change your poor box stacking picture to one that displays your skills a tad better. (see previous page)


    @=crate |=air

  24. #324
    New Member
    Registered: Jun 2001
    Location: more than likely, sitting at my computer at gawd-awful hours of the night postin

    1659. You design your own "e-Blackjacking."
    Like an e-Greeting, but instead of playing a non-Thief related animation, the recipient gets bonked on the head.

    1660. You send your "e-Blackjacking" to every email address of everyone who's tried to tell you that Thief isn't real, and there's a so-called "real world" outside of Thief.

    1661. You become extremely confused when these people don't get bonked on the head through their computer because of your "e-Blackjacking."

    "Cease thy croaking and hop into view, vile toad!!"

    Official FinC (Flabberghaster in Chief) of Clan One Man Jam

  25. #325
    New Member
    Registered: Jun 2001
    Location: more than likely, sitting at my computer at gawd-awful hours of the night postin

    1662. You finally realize that this thread has it's own intellect, emotions, and desires, and that taffer w/money is but the mouthpiece of The Thread.

    1662. What The Thread wills, taffer w/money does. Not even I can stop the events that are taking place even as we speak.

    I suggest that you make preparations for The Thread's Paradise before midnight.

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