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Thread: 1000 clues that you have been playing thief way to much ...

  1. #551
    Registered: Jul 2002
    Location: Inside at last....
    Garlett o'Hara...

    'Gone With the Thief'

  2. #552
    Registered: Mar 2001
    Location: Somewhere
    I did a list of 40 a long time ago, I tried to edit out the redundant ones, but we'll see what happens...

    2240. When you hear a sudden noise, you yell, "I'll find you taffer, just you wait!"...

    2241. You insist that when you stand in a dark corner, that no one will see you...

    2242. You start whistling the tunes the guards walk their routes to...

    2243. When you walk around a building you think to yourself, "now that would be a good place to stash a body."

    2244. Every time you visit a friends place, you search behind fireplaces and couches for levers to "secret hallways"...

    2245. When someone tells you unbelievable news you respond with, "you're taffing me"....

    2246. When you go swimming, you always bring your bottle of green "breath potion", just in case you find an underwater cavern...

    2247. Every time someone farts, you jump around to make sure it wasn't a burrick....

    2248. Every time you go visit deceased relatives at the cemetery, you make sure to bring plenty of holy water and water arrows...

    2249. You canít believe the local sporting goods store doesnít have "noise maker" arrows...

    2249. You get mad when someone sees you...(going back to #2241)

    2250. Every time you see a spider, you run away backwards trying to hit it with your arrows...

    2251. aren't allowed in the zoo anymore for killing all the spiders...

    2252. You insist that Catholics are really "Hammerites"...

    2253. The cheap english accents in the old Robin Hood movies suddenly don't seem so bad.

    2254. You wonder why you can't seem to find any gold trinkets lying around where ever you go... You must have already been this way.

    2255. Your entire diet consists of leg of lamb, carrots, cucumbers, bread, apples, and crunchy cheese...

    2256. The drug store doesn't have your invisible potion...

    2257. You insist that Pepsi is really "speed potion".

    2258. You are afraid to go to the park, because you might run into the "Trickster".

    2259. All libraries have that book you can pull to open the secret room...

    2260. All books, no matter how thick, have no more than 4 pages of text...

    2261. Every time to try using that blackjack on someone you just get your ass kicked....

    2262. You swear that you can knock a person out with your blackjack by swinging through the door as you hold it closed on them...

    2263. Every time you come to a hard surface, you walk as slowly as you can, as not to be heard by anyone...

    2264. ...or, you get out a "moss arrow"...

    2265. Why doesnít the store have water crystals?

    2266. When you have a hard time seeing, you simply adjust, the "screen gamma"...

    2267. It takes you 20 minutes to get to the bathroom, because you must peak around every corner before venturing any further... oops, too late.

    2268. You confuse everyone at the town meeting, accusing Lord Ramirez of hiring assassins to kill you...

    2269. You're afraid of light...

    2270. When you run away from someone in a fight, you jump onto a big barrel insisting they can't get you there until you jump back down...

    2271. Your upset that everywhere you go, they have electric lights, and you donít know how to unscrew a light bulbÖ

    2272. Every time you get hurt you just grunt, "uh"...

    2273. Electric lights are impervious to everything, so you have to run past them when no one is looking.

    2274. You never use the front door, you always go through a dark window, or look for the elusive "secret entrance"...

    2275. Since most doors are always locked, if you hit a door enough times, it will eventually unlock itself...

    2276. When you get into a fight, you charge at the person as fast as you can yelling, "Treacherous villain, I smite thee!"...

  3. #553
    New Member
    Registered: Nov 2002
    Location: Ohio
    2277) When your mom gets mad at you for playing Thief too much you look away, throw a flash bomb, and knok her out wit your blackjack.

    2278) You begin to apply the knowledge of Thief and the class you are daydreaming in to think about how certain things in Thief would work in the real world (How would the pagans quote Shakespere? What kind chemicals would be needed to make a flash bomb/speed potion/invisiblity potion/fire arrow?)
    derrick mckee

    "I am having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I have forgotten this before."

  4. #554
    Registered: Jan 2003
    Location: The great gig in the sky

    1001 clue that you play thief too much

    Hello to you all fans of thief

    I come from Poland and in my country there are real keepers, but as in thief, the stay in the dark side of the Internet.

    ah yes the 1001 clue:

    You tried to blackjack your mother afteer seeing a horro-movie (strange to say but I almost did it, but I think that I was a littel scared myself)

  5. #555
    New Member
    Registered: Nov 2002
    Location: Ohio
    2279)You dromed your whole town you live in, just so you can brag to your friends that you robbed your whole city without getting caught.

    2280)You try to get this thread going again by posting on it, even though you know it has been closed for a while.

    You search every church you know of to see if there are any magic eyes in it that you can use.

    You become a pagan because you want to travel into the Maw, and have an excuse to end every word in -see

    You rewrite all voice-overs in both games from Latin(I hunc, tu Taffer[Come here, you Taffer]!! Aliquis, iuva me!! Habet gladium!!![Someone help me!! He has a sword!!!])

    *I don't know if those Latin phrases are completely right. Tell me if they aren't.

  6. #556
    Registered: Mar 2002
    Uh, oh, numbering chaos again! Ducz's posting should have been #2279, and garretthethief23's postings should be #2280 to #2284. So, the next one is

    2285) You are terribly annoyed if anybody misnumbers their postings to this thread and feel the urge to immediately post something to prevent the incorrect numbers from spreading

  7. #557
    New Member
    Registered: Nov 2002
    Location: Ohio
    Sorry my bad! Won't happen again
    derrick mckee

    "I am having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I have forgotten this before."

  8. #558
    Registered: Mar 2001
    Location: Jersey City

    Hey there, fellow buckeye taffer! What part of "the heart" are you in?
    "That I an accessary needs must be
    To that sweet thief which sourly robs from me."
    William Shakespeare, sonnet 35

  9. #559
    New Member
    Registered: Nov 2002
    Location: Ohio
    I actually live near Cleveland, Rocky River to be exact.
    derrick mckee

    "I am having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I have forgotten this before."

  10. #560
    Registered: Jun 2002
    Location: Lost City, Fire Talisman Tower
    2281.) Your wife comes home to find all the bread, cheese, and fruit in the house in a huge, mashed pile on the kitchen floor. Some things just do NOT work in real life.

    2282.) You live in the southwest (like me) and can't help lauging to yourself every time you hear the last name "Ramirez".

  11. #561
    Registered: Mar 2002
    Argh! The right numbers are 2286 and 2287. Could you all please edit your posts to use the correct numbers (see my last post)?

  12. #562
    Gone, but not forgotten

    Registered: Jan 2001
    Location: Seaside, Oregon

    You are up to 4 hard drives of 80 gig each, none of which has any room left because you have copied every image of the stacks of crates and potions that Luthien has made.


    Your cat is furless because you were trying to make firearrows in the garage workshop. And needed a test subject.

  13. #563
    Registered: Jan 2003
    2290 - After throwing a water balloon in a friend's face and seeing their angry reaction, you mutter "That's funny, they usually don't notice..."


  14. #564
    Registered: Aug 1999
    Location: Somewhere within the depths of the woods
    You go to see "The Two Towers", and (even if you've grown up reading the books forever before the movie, as I have) the following happens to you:

    You watch the Treebread segment and you can't help but be reminded of your own Ent encounteres in Thief II.

    You can't help envying Merry and Pippin's being able to encounter a friendly Ent while you were clobbered to death by them.

    You jokingly snort to yourself, "Some taffers have ALL the luck."

    You then jokingly think to yourself, "Maybe it's that apparent 'stench' the guards seem to think Garrett has that they've always remarking on?"

    You then think about how cool it might be if either Thief III or a future FM had helpful Ents in them as opposed to vicious ones for a change.

    You then briefly toy with the possibility of such a mission's allowing you to "ride" a friendly Ent for whatever reason in the same manner the hobbits are.

    You then think about the friendly Ent ruthlessly SQUASHING guards, zombies and such underfoot while you're riding it! (Sounds like fun, really. )

    You then briefly savour the particularly tasty, vengeful image of the friendly Ent stepping on the EVIL Ents that tormented you in the first place!
    Last edited by The Cloaked Wolf; 26th Jan 2003 at 16:47.

  15. #565
    New Member
    Registered: Nov 2002
    Location: Ohio
    2299) Whenever you go into a dark room, you try to adjust the gamma instead of turning on the lights.

    2300) you get mad at yourself for being so stupid, because you thought that you had the 3000th post

    2301) You don't take your rage out on people, but on burricks and zombies in Thief, but not humans in Thief so not to end you non-killing streak.
    Last edited by garretthethief23; 24th Jan 2003 at 12:42.
    derrick mckee

    "I am having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I have forgotten this before."

  16. #566
    Registered: Nov 2002
    Location: New Zealand
    Actually, that would be the 2300th clue. Read The Cloaked Wolf's post again.

  17. #567
    Registered: Mar 2001
    Location: Jersey City

    Technically, I'm not in Cleveland either since I'm in the 'burbs too (South Euclid, to be exact). I have some friends who live in your city, though and am frequently on the West side. Small world(wide web), huh?
    "That I an accessary needs must be
    To that sweet thief which sourly robs from me."
    William Shakespeare, sonnet 35

  18. #568
    HOLY CRAP! . I didn't know you guys would even get to 1000! That's dedication right there .

  19. #569
    Registered: Mar 2002
    Location: House of Sand and Fog
    #2302 - Trying to, and actually succeeding in getting into the Cathedral your first visit (The Haunted Cathedral)..

    #2303 - And then wondering why you have to go through all the trouble getting the talismans to go in through the front door. I guess Constantine really didn't think much of me after all, master thief and long-time 'mind over matter' practitioner that I am

    (Read "Has anyone visited THC Cathedral been visited?" .. I know, I want some recognition, but hey, I can't help it! )
    "I cannot see anything admirable in stupidity, injustice and sheer incompetence in high places, and there is too much of all three in the present administration." -M.M.Kaye, The Far Pavilions

  20. #570
    Registered: Jul 2002
    Back to the top!

    #2304 If you know from personal experience that Craymen aren't drownable. (The one in THC, underground pool, near the burrick cave kept falling in!)

    #2305 If you've written a parody of T:TDP (pointing at LoneCoyote + Golden Skull - Kleptomaniac - The Not-So-Bright Project)

    #2306 If you've ever been sneaking around your own pitch-black house... and run into something.
    Last edited by w_hairst; 10th Mar 2003 at 19:44.

  21. #571
    Registered: Feb 2003
    Location: Pencil Vein Yah
    #2307 You scrawl the mission briefing quotes all over your backpack, skateboard, folder, ect.

    #2308 You use the aforementioned quotes in day-to-day conversation.

    #2309 You cannot fathom the idea that electric lights can be turned off by twisting or breaking the bulb.

    #2310 Depending on what group in Thief is your favorite, you dress entirely in black, silver and gold, red and silver, animal prints and leather, or expensive satins and velvets.

    #2311 No matter where you go, you end up sneaking around.

    #2312 Every time you go to the mall, security escourts you out because you were creeping about suspiciously with a blackjack.

  22. #572
    Registered: May 2000
    Location: North of the equator.
    Man... after all this time. After I originally reposted it that long ago... still going strong. That is true dedication.

  23. #573
    Registered: Jun 1999
    Location: San Diego, CA
    2313. You thank the creators of Thief for making your latest trip to Vegas possible. (Because playing keeps you from leaving your house and spending money. )

  24. #574
    Registered: Mar 2003
    Location: Still hoarding rope arrows
    #2314: You begin to wonder if stealing the Holy Water makes the holiness go away ... Seriously ! Does it ??

  25. #575
    Registered: Feb 2003
    Location: Pencil Vein Yah
    #2315 You are trying to find you little cousin after a bout of hide-and-go-see, and you walk around saying "Don't make me come find you!"

    #2316 You can giggle like Viktoria.

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