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Thread: 1000 clues that you have been playing thief way to much ...

  1. #726
    Registered: Dec 2003
    Location: UK Portsmouth
    2573) You sit in the corner of dark, smoky pubs amd hope you will be approached by an informant.

    2574) You take your laptop with thief on it on these occasions

    2575) You call your wife/girlfiend victoria, and have persuaded her to call you garret back. You also have her dress up in tree costumes during sex. (while you of course wear the black cloak)

    2576) you have arranged for a man called farkus to be killed while you were in his shop, just so you could experience a garret moment.

    2577) You have sneaked into an aristocrats mansion every night for the past 2 years and rebuilt it so it looks exactly like ramiraz's mansion (incredibly they have not noticed), and break in there to kill the lord (who, in a court order has had his name changed to ramiraz, by you)

    2578) you have constructed a keeper library deep underground and written hundreds of thousands of books jsut so you know things other people dont.

    2579) Whenever you see a cute little pig (aaaahhh, look at the piggy) you run up to it and stab it mercilessly, believing it to be a burrick.

    2580) If you are male you prey garret is homosexual and victoria is straight. If you are female you prey garret is straight and that victoria is homosexual. (I know i do)

    2581) To you catholic christians are hammers, protestant christians are mechanists, cultists are pagans, the mafia is the thieves guild, the masons are the keepers (ooooh, secret society ), all the aristocrats are 'fat nobles' and you, of course, are garret.

    There i am fresh out for now.

  2. #727
    Registered: Jan 2001
    Location: Germany
    2582) After going to the front door of your house and mumbling, "Hmmm ... better find another way in!" (#1020) you sneak into the garden behind your house, notice another door, say to yourself, "This must be the back door!" and enter the house from there.

    2583) You find this thread and say to yourself, "I wonder if they read all of them or if it's just for show."

  3. #728
    2584) You feel proud to say that yes, you have read every single clue. (strangely the ones on the first pages had a higher rate of funniness)

  4. #729
    Registered: Jan 2001
    Location: Germany

    2585) You know that the forum search for "hordes of male genitalia" actually returns a result.

  5. #730
    Registered: Jan 2000
    Location: Chemistry


    You are surprised this thread is still going, remembering when first joining it seemed old, and a few years later its STILL GOING!!

    The Master Builder Disaproves of this thread continuation.

    It has got silly.

  6. #731
    Registered: Jan 2004
    Location: lost
    2588) As you try to fall asleep (but still going over missions in your head) you hear noices and jump when someone enters the room thinking their zombies (sadly in my overactive imagination this one is true)
    2589) You finally learn the 'i before e' rule of spelling from the title
    2590) When giving your eyes a break from the game and watching a cop show you can deduce the crime before the cops can including all details

  7. #732
    Registered: Apr 2003
    Location: Western New York (state)
    2591- Realizing that the thread should be renamed to "2600 clues that you have been playing thief way to much ..."
    2592- Realizing the Post should be changed tp 2600 reasons you've been reading thief posts too much

  8. #733
    New Member
    Registered: Jan 2004
    Location: Great Britain
    2593 Wishing your newborn son would go to sleep not so you can sleep too but so you can play Thief until he wakes up again

    2594 Starting your own company and knowing you should skip lunchtimes but having them anyway so you can play thief some more

    (Both true stories)

  9. #734
    Registered: Dec 2003
    Location: UK Portsmouth
    2595) you start a keeper cult and become incredibly anti-social, while being incredibly arrogant and prophecising the worlds end, to the annoyance of your mates.

    (note the parrelel between the keepers and christianity)

  10. #735
    Registered: Dec 2002
    2596) You print out a copy of this list.
    2597) You go to the butcher shop and ask for burrick meat.
    2598) During everyday things, you find yourself saying 'save' when you complete a task.
    2599) You only leave your room at night, to avoid being seen.
    2600) You can quote all 2600 clues from memory.
    Last edited by WackyWacko; 30th Jan 2004 at 18:07.

  11. #736
    Registered: Dec 2003
    Location: UK Portsmouth
    2561) u bemuse your friends with your paranioa of trees becasue of the fact u stare intently at them and mutter under your breath ' their alive...thier alive HA HA HA (*little giggle*)'

  12. #737
    Registered: Dec 2003
    Location: Brasília-Brazil
    2562- You try to walk as silent as possible
    2563- You try to run as silent as possible
    2564- When doing any of those things, you wonder why Garrett has to wear those tap shoes

  13. #738
    Registered: Dec 2002
    Location: The slavecamps of Avernus
    2562: You can eat deerlegs in one bite.
    2563: You remeber every damn secret and nook and cranny of the thief 1 and 2 levels, every guard placement and patrol, every damn nugget of gold, But not what the teacher just said.
    2564: You life are evolving around the thief series; Before thief and after thief.

  14. #739
    Registered: Jul 2002
    Location: Tulsa
    2608 - you realise that many of your fellow thiefs cannot count, and therefore create a master plan to do money "exchanges" with them, each time giving them far less than a fair amount.
    2609 - wish that someone would REALLY go through this entire thread and fix all the mis-numerations! (other than yourself)
    2610 - you are excited to see what other post people make to this thread only.
    2611 - you have beaten Thief 1, Gold, and 2 so many times that you often go crazy and kill everyone in the mission, then you carry them all to one spot, and spell your name with the corpses.
    2612 - you try to test your insane thieving skills by carrying around a body throughout every mission.

  15. #740
    Registered: Jan 2004
    Location: The Forbidden Library
    2613.) The FBI adds the local Mechanist/Order of the Vine/Hammerite/Keeper Chapter you've founded to its list of Dangerous Cults.

    2614.) You look on the screen and realize that a Haunt has jumped out in front of you, then you look again and realize that it only moves when you do, then it finally clicks, you've gotten up from the computer and you're looking into a mirror.

    2615.) When you walk into any place, and someone out of view calls out "who's there?" you break into a cold sweat and reach instinctively for your "weapons".

    2616.) When you dream about fighting Haunts for five nights in a row.

    -Keeper Jonas.

  16. #741
    Registered: Apr 2003
    Location: Finland
    2617. When you eat all the apples, cheese and possible deer legs from the fridge just for a laugh.

    2618. When you try to use soda bottles as breath potions.

    2619. When you try to ghost Quake.

  17. #742
    New Member
    Registered: Jan 2004
    Location: Great Britain
    2620) When you go to church you're surprised to find there aren't any zombies or haunts in there

    2621) Whilst sitting in church getting over the lack of zombies you find yourself looking upwards for a beam to fire a rope arrow into

    2622) You mentally note where all the holy water is...just in case

  18. #743
    2623) Upon downloading one of your favourite arcade childhood games as an emulator rom to play it on your PC, the very first thing you do is:


  19. #744
    Registered: May 2003
    Location: US
    2624) After it's been dead so long you revive it JUST so that you will be able to access it better.

  20. #745
    Registered: Feb 2004
    2625) Whenever you die in your dreams you see a skull and crossbones before you wake.

    2626) You see the skull and crossbones any time you kill a living human.

    2627) You copy one or more of the following to make your own group for another game: Hammers/Keepers/Pagans/Mechanists.

    (Sorry if repeats.)
    Last edited by Yos; 15th Mar 2004 at 22:51.

  21. #746
    Registered: Nov 2003
    Location: Thief fan since ca. 1999
    2628) You see this thread and realize to yourself "my god, I do play thief too much, but I don't care!"

    2629)The fact that this thread has gotten so big is a clue

    2630)The fact that it excedes the "1000 clues" thing in the thread name!
    My Thief FM Website
    "Those pies had enough grease to drop a Burrick!"

  22. #747
    Registered: Jun 2001
    Location: Some blue planet
    2631) You read previews before TDP is released and think about how cool the EAX sound will be, then buy the game and love it, but can't get the back speakers to work, so you play it in software audio and eventually decide EAX is out of reach.

    Fast forward a few years and you have played TDP and T2 many many times as well as every FM you can click on. One boring Friday night you finally realize you need to plug a different set of speakers into your sound card's other slot to get EAX!

    And after all this, all you can think is "Holy Shit! I can't wait to play them all again!"

  23. #748
    Registered: Jul 2002
    Location: tampere,finland
    in addition to previous;
    fast forward to thief3; you finally get EAX to work like a charm, only to realize thief3 won't have support for it

  24. #749
    Registered: Feb 2004
    Location: Ryleth
    2632 You start to hum like Hammerites (I admit it, it's true!)

    2633 You attempt to steal valuble items when visiting stately homes and attempt to knock out the trust members who are just standing about for no obvious reason so as to stop them alerting guards.
    Stoked with fuel,
    We do the Builder's work.

  25. #750
    Registered: Feb 2004
    2634: When you're mortally injured, you try to heal yourself with some healing potions, but you learn they don't exist so try to find some plums(ies).

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