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Thread: 1000 clues that you have been playing thief way to much ...

  1. #76

    Whoa, you're right. I let it un-edited, though, because it is just a clue that I am living in fear of the y2k-compability of the software that we support.

  2. #77
    Keeper Mallinson

    Tsk tsk Lytha; you're just jealous of Fred.

    "Oh ya, I left in unedited... on accounta I'm afraid of Y2K. .....ya." j/k

    [This message has been edited by Keeper Mallinson (edited December 13, 1999).]

  3. #78
    Fred Chook

    Lytha jealous of me? Today keeps getting better...

    [This message has been edited by Fred Chook (edited December 13, 1999).]

  4. #79
    Fred Chook

    1101: Lytha is said to be jealous of you.
    1102: You make a model of the Downwind Thieve's Guild in History class.
    1103: You work out Garrett's date of birth through careful study of the cutscenes, and have a party in his honour.
    1104: You write informative essays about the correct use of the blackjack.
    1105: You tick off treasure-hunters and Lytha by putting 1 coin in a completely innaccesible place in your mission.

  5. #80
    Fred Chook

    1106: You write 'A Glimpse of Garrett'
    1107: You point out all the mistakes in the aforementioned 'A Glimpse of Garrett'
    1108: You consistently cheer the villian in Hitchcock films, even the ones where you aren't supposed to.
    1109: You even CONSIDER a Thief conversion for GTA. Let's see, a row of Hammerites, and if you run over them all...
    1110: You refuse to climb stairs anymore. 'It's obviously a trap. Look, you step on this bit, and a fireball will come out the hole in the wall...'
    1111: You get in trouble at school when you complain loudly that thieves are'nt always bad people. (It was in a philosophy class).

  6. #81
    Secluded Memory

    1112: You finally figure out that you've played Thief nonstop ever since you got it. Oh well, no big woop, I've never played it on expert. You dash off to accomplish your task (I know it was lousy, but I'm getting this post back to the top. By the way, if you're annoyed at the wide screen, move it over and leave it there. You don't really have to see the name of the person writing the post, do you?)

    -Sports are the way to go. In Thief you can be a sneaker-

  7. #82
    The Cloaked Wolf

    #1113 Every time you log on the net and look at a picture that's coloured too dark to see much detail, you immediately start playing with your "+" and "-" keys...before you remember, "Oh yeah...that's only in the game." (That urge actually happened to me just tonight, I'm so used to adjusting Thief's display!)

    #1114 You use your CD burner to burn yourself a backup copy of your new Thief Gold CD because you're just SOOO paranoid about the possibility of scuffing it up too much taking it in and out of that little cardboard sleeve it comes in.

    #1115 You burn several more copies in case something should happen to the first copy you made.

    #1116 You test each CD to make sure the whole game functions properly by playing the whole game through all the missions on EACH ONE.

    #1117 You decide that's still not enough proof and that there might STILL have been something copied wrong, so you go back and replay all the CDs in both the "hard" and "expert" levels as well.

    #1118 You later on decide the entire exercise wasn't necessary since you never take the Thief Gold disc out of your CD-ROM drive anyway.

    #1119 You are near a swimming pool. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice in passing a pattern of dancing "wavy lights" reflecting from the sun off the top of the pool's water on to a nearby wall, and your first mental reaction is to think you're near one of Constantine's "sideways" pools of water.

    #1120 You're so anxious to not accidentally repeat any of the previous 1119 clues that you re-read the ENTIRE HUUUUGE list on here before you add your latest ideas. Every time, just to be safe.

    <+> The Cloaked Wolf <+>

    [This message has been edited by The Cloaked Wolf (edited December 20, 1999).]

  8. #83
    The Cloaked Wolf

    #1121 You immediate want to lead the other Thief players on here in a wild cheer of applause for Lytha's incredibly clever set of clues that were accompanied by a SCREENSHOT! BRAVO!

    That was pure GENIUS, Lytha. If you come up with any more ideas like that, please share them! It added a lot of life and originality to the list!

    <+> The Cloaked Wolf <+>

  9. #84
    The Cloaked Wolf

    And now a set of "clues" guaranteed to be nominated for the "most warped" award:

    #1122 You actually wear (get this) official "Thief" underwear! They are jet black with the white THIEF letters right across the butt. (I refuse to get any more elaborate in the possible ideas for such a pair of underwear, I'm not warped enough)

    #1123 You have several pairs of these, actually, and never wear normal underwear.

    #1124 You are strange enough to feel adventurous whenever you are and whatever you do as though you were living a "Thief" scenario just because you're wearing these ridiculous things under your real clothes.

    #1125 You start raiding and thieving in real life just BECAUSE you're wearing these ridiculous things under your clothes.

    #1126 You start raiding and thieving in real life while wearing nothing BUT these things!

    And what sort of warped individual would be odd enough to design such a set of underwear in the first place? Well, that leads to...

    #1127 You made them YOURSELF.

    (Everybody gag now )

    Ok, now back to the normal listings.

    #1128 You are convinced you have become allergic to light.

    #1129 You get somebody to design a special "Thief model" of computer for you to play it on, decorated jet black with Thief illos, etc.

    #1130 You go even further and get some computer repair genius at your local repair store to install a special secondary hard drive in it that has nothing on it but the entire Thief game so you can play it whenever you like without the CDs.

    #1131 If you are a guy, you start dating any woman that looks like Viktoria. Or if you're a woman, you date any guy who looks like Garrett.

    #1132 If you can't find anyone like the above in either case, then if you're a guy you MAKE your girlfriend look like Viktoria, or if you're a woman you MAKE your boyfriend look like Garrett.

    #1133 If you're a guy, you get together with other guy fans of Viktoria and start a "Viktoriamania" craze that puts "Leomania" to shame. Ditto for women concerning Garrett, of course.

    #1133 If you're a woman, you start practicing Viktoria's "Constantine mansion giggle" because you know how much it turns on your Thief-loving boyfriend. Or if you're a guy, you practice impersonating Garrett's voice because your Thief-loving girlfriend is crazy about it.

    (Well, I'm trying to help keep the thread alive anyway. Hope it helped. )

    <+> The Cloaked Wolf <+>

  10. #85
    The Cloaked Wolf

    #1134 You go to the city (say, New York, Chicago, someplace like that) and decide to go up to the roof of your hotel to see the sights.

    When you get to the top, you can't help but wonder why in the world some of the surrounding areas, walls and building sides aren't "invisible" and don't look like starry patches of space.

    <+> The Cloaked Wolf <+>

  11. #86
    Keeper Mallinson

    Ohh no you don't. Get back up here.

    1135: You, having finished Thief more than once, are quite seriously considering buying the Gold edition.

  12. #87

    1136) Your kitchen and bathroom floors are covered with moss

    What do you wanna grow up to be?
    A thief.
    What are you gonna grow up to be?
    A kleptomaniac.

  13. #88

    I dare to post an evil T2 demo spoiler in here...

    # 1137 You know from where this screenshot is being taken.

    # 1138 You know how one could reach that area in the demo.

    # 1139 You have actually reached this area in the demo.

    # 1140 You know of which texture the very alpha-ish rooms above here are.

    # 1141 You know how many enemies are above here.

    # 1142 You have not only reached this area one time, but also left it again.

    # 1143 ... alive.

    # 1144 You have also reached the blue shape that can be seen above.

    # 1145 You know the only area in the demo (so far as I know it, yet ), that has no room-brush.

    # 1146 You know how many sides this odd giant blue water arrow thingie has.

    # 1147 You actually enjoyed this horrible climbing action.

  14. #89

    You come back here after two months and can't believe this topic, much less this website is still alive. Did someone resurect it? I posted back in the hundreds!!!

  15. #90

    #1148 You know Lytha is still running the show! And she will be for all eternity for that matter.

    #1149 You know the mission you started months ago is going to look crappy compaired to T2.

  16. #91
    Tzar Sectus

    #1150 You like the swordfighting in Thief so much you're now an expert with swordfighting with the blackjack. Just yesterday you managed to kill three Haunts (simultaneous) only with the blackjack without losing any health.

    #1151 You're now researching whether or not it's possible to complete the whole game only using your sword to do things... kill all guards... "kill" all doors... what's this? A metal door? You give up.

    #1152 You try again and find a solution to the metal door problem (only using your sword).

    #1153 You're extremely irritated that it's not possible to kill humans at Expert... so you load up DromEd and replaces all the human guards in the game with Haunts.

    #1154 You're now thinking to start sub-versions of this thread.... "1000 clues that you have been using the sword too much in Thief"....

    #1155 You're now beginning to wonder why the game is called Thief when it replaces real life so good it could be called reality.

    #1156 You just killed all your neighbours with a homemade blackjack when you found out that the Thief 2 demo is on 130 megs... some days later the whole population of your town is dead. You decide this doesn't matter at all since Thief is the *real* reality. And real life is just a simple game.

    #1157 Your brother beside you is completely out of his mind because you're actually reading through all the messages in this thread. (darn it, I used ca. 3 hours reading through all this)

    #1158 Your boss has kicked you out of your job because you intimidate all your co-workers too much with your threats about decapitating them with your sword and robbing everything they have.

    #1159 Your girlfriend has broken up with you when she got to know who the "Professional Thief Has Robbed All Houses In New York" mentioned in the TV news is.

    #1160 You go to rehabilitation in hope to get better, but you only manage to get your therapist begin speaking like a Hammerite "Thou art a truly weird man, Mr Tzar... but dost thou knoweth what? I think I'm in love with thee".

    #1161 You've watched the movie Matrix a thousand times, and you get more and more pissed off because they didn't play any Thief game in the Matrix world.

    #1162 You've finally gotten over Viktoria... but now you're afraid of admitting that you've fallen in love with Lytha.

    #1163 And all the females who say they like Thief.

    #1164 After jumping, running on loud ground, and shooting noisemaker arrows people go to you and say "Can't you not just say "hi" as a normal person to get attention??"

    -Remi "Tzar Sectus"

  17. #92

    #1165 you post the same topic in multiple forums just to see the different answeres ant to get more responses.

    #1166 you mix thief up with SS2 and try to get that eye to levitate to you.

    #1167 same as above but you wonder why you can't get on that ladder, then you remember you're in thief and have to jump on it.

    #1168 same as 1166 but you are positive that constantine says, "swords aren't like fine wine... they don't get better with age".

    Museum of Chaos- MOC2
    And you thought no one would avenge the Woodsie Lord! How ignorant of you!

  18. #93

    Inspired by 1162:

    1169: You check the profiles of everyone in this entire forum desperately trying to find a GF who likes Thief.

    1170: Not a one of them will return your e-mails so you take out an ad in the personals section of the newspaper, listing only that she must "play Thief: the Dark Project."

    1171: You took the Thief manual to Kinko's and got them to make a huge blowup of the cover so you can put it on your wall.

    1172: All of your online identities and passwords are Thief related.

    1173: You meticulously check your postings for spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors, worried that they might be seen as blasphemy towards the game.

    1174: You actually buy the Logitech Force Feedback Mouse to see if it enhances the game.

    1175: You send numerous e-mails to movie studios, trying to convince them that a Thief movie is a bankable project.

    1176: You've memorized the game so well that you can use DromEd to recreate the entire game perfectly. (This might have been used already)

    1177: You make a Thief TC for Heretic 2 to see what it would be like in 3rd person.

    1178: Thief reminds you about a Fafhrd & Grey Mouser story by Fritz Leiber you read, so you start digging around everywhere for more of those (true).

    1179: Once you have glued the CD drive shut b/c you think you'll never need to take the game out you suffer a mental breakdown after realizing you won't be able to play Thief 2.

    1180: You recreate Thief using the Thief 2 editor to see what the original looks like with the (slightly) newer graphics.

    1181: Vice versa.

    [This message has been edited by Ringwraith (edited January 09, 2000).]

  19. #94

    1182: You've sold off possessions to take care of that little caffeine addiction you developed playing Thief a week straight.

    1183: Then you use your well-practiced skills to replace them.

    1184: It's been so long since you thought about other things that you just now remember those episodes of 'In Living Color' in which K. I. Wayans plays Homey the Clown, whacking kids over the head with his blackjack-like sock, saying "Homey don't play dat!"

  20. #95

    1185: You burn the music tracks onto a CDR to have a homemade soundtrack.

    1186: You go to other forums where console gamers hang out and gleefully slam them because they nothing that compares to Thief.

    1187: You recreate the Thief 2 demo with DromEd so it won't be in the Alpha stage anymore.

  21. #96

    1188: Your insult of choice is "Taffer"

    1189: You add -sie to the end of everything.

    1190: You keep adding to this thread desperately trying to keep it alive.

  22. #97


    I do use "Taffer", and not because any of you think it's addictive (no offense, I hope! ) but because I found out why exactly I want to use it...I can't disclose that.

  23. #98
    Junkie Doodle

    1191 - You've reached the blue jewel on top of the MT, and descended alive by two separate routes, other than the one you came up in...

  24. #99

    ITS ALIVE.. ALIVE.. !!!!

    The post from the past..

  25. #100

    what number is this..

    you leave the forum for a few months and people keep the dream alive...

    you all are the best bunch of thieves..

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