#1193 You never go into a cave again without a "fake eye" in your pocket.
And another newbie ...
1194) You write a movie script for the Thief movie, then try selling it to the companies again.
1195) You can beat any level in the game, on expert, without killing anyone, without saving or restarting even once.
1196) And in less than 15 minutes.
1197) And without anyone (undead too) knowing you were there.
-- BlueNinja
1198) Objects around you light up indicating that they are selected.
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I was forced to speak, now silence is my name.
1199) Your senior design project for the university involves constructing a computer virus that will cause infected computers to yell curses at the user in the voice of sg3, whenever the "t" key is pressed.... making sure clips using the word "taffer" occur most frequently.
1200) You view anyone who is unaware of the term "taffer" to be of a significantly lower level of intelligence than yourself. (Oddly, they think the same thing of you, but their opinion really doesn't matter... they're TAFFERS!!!)
[This message has been edited by Taffer (edited January 20, 2000).]
1201) Your eyes actually start to zoom in when you stare at the screen long enough.
1202) You challenge your friends to see who can stack up the most bodies in one spot.
1203) You create a level for the Smithsonian to see who can steal the Hope Diamond.
1204) You create a level for the White House to see who can assassinate the President the fastest.
1205) You also add in treasure that won't highlight, just to see how Lytha will react. =)
1206) You also don't include a map.
1207) The only way to get to the President is through five different secret passages.
1208) And climbing up a stack of five boxes.
-- BlueNinja
2108) You start to wonder if the thieves of the world have counting problems.
2109) You actually recount this thread.
2110) You actually think about telling the fellow thieves that the Y2K bug was just hyped up too much & it wasn't a problem.
2111) You give up trying to explain this fact to thieves because they would just ignor & rob you anyway.
------------------
Mr Croft ~ Have you signed the
Ultima Underworld 3 Petition yet?!
Oh ya & by the way, "Go raid something."
2112: you calculate the value of everything you look at.
2113: you dive for the shadows whenever you see someone with a sledgehammer.
2114: you are greatly surprised to see crosses in your local church, expecting there to be large hammer statues instead.
2115: you spend the whole week trying to get into the alarus extension in bonehoard.
2116: you burst into tears when you realise it's impossible.
2117: you turn the microphone off before playing, just in case.
2118: when in any large building (museum, office block, etc.) you work out how to get in, steal something important, and slip out without being seen.
2119: you can no longer understand a map with any detail.
2120: you join an archery club, but quit when they don't know what a gas arrow is.
2121: you call someone "burrick breath".
2122: you then spend ages explaining what a burrick is.
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Join us join us join us NOW!
1224: Despite the fact that # 1000 was reached long months ago, you care enough about this thread to point out that that was # 1223!!
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By the time you find a lightswitch, I'll already be gone...
1225: Your arse is permanently numb from sitting so long.
1226: The fact that there are 226 too many clues.
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If we took the bones out it wouldn't be crunchy, would it?
1227) You realize that Mr Croft is a thief & he has eye problems.
1228) You realize that a thief should leave no room for error when counting... especially money.
1229) You feel sorry for Mr Croft because he feels so foolish for the mishap.
1230) You even permit him to sneak back into the shadows untouched.
[This message has been edited by Mr Croft (edited February 12, 2000).]
1231: You come up with numerous, inventive ways to kill Brother Murus.
1232: You carry them out.
1233: When someone tries to burgle your house in the middle of the night, you wake up (thanks to your already good hearing, heightened to the point of excellance by playing thief), trail the robber back to HIS house, swipe everything, knock him unconsious (afterwards, for added effect), and deliver him to the local police station.
1234(wahey!): You dream about thief, but are unable to wake up (even at midday) until you complete the game with EVERY peice of loot.
1235: You edit Baffords and place the scepter on the roof for added incentive to get up there.
1236: You know how to get onto every roof in the game.
------------------
Join us join us join us NOW!
1237) You wonder how long it will take the Hammerites to build a working steamship.
1238) You consider starting a local Hammerite temple in your neighborhood, to spread the Builder's Plan.
1239) You consider starting a local (coven?) of Trickster followers in your neighborhood.
1240) You've done either of these.
1241) You've done both, just so you can be Garrett and piss off both sides.
-- BlueNinja
1237) You wonder how long it will take the Hammerites to build a working steamship.
1238) You consider starting a local Hammerite temple in your neighborhood, to spread the Builder's Plan.
1239) You consider starting a local (coven?) of Trickster followers in your neighborhood.
1240) You've done either of these.
1241) You've done both, just so you can be Garrett and piss off both sides.
-- BlueNinja
1242) You complain to the council that the streetlighting is too good.
1243) You wonder what one of these chat forums would look like, if it was a real place.
1244) You realise that since all the people here are thief fanatics, they would be hiding in the shadows and it would just look like an empty room.
1245) You get a Trickster-style third eye tatto.
1246) You buy a lightmeter so you know how visible you are at all times.
1247) You buy a decibelmeter to accompany it.
1248) You replace all the lightbulbs in your house with burning torches for atmosphere.
1249) You find it easier to put them out with water arrows than reach for a lightswitch.
1250) You can give people heart attacks by walking quitly up behind them and saying "Hello" (Guilty...)
1251) When they collapse clutching their heart, you say "Are you alright? No, of course you're not alright. Sorry."
1252) You insure your house against burrick tunnelling.
------------------
Join us join us join us NOW!
1253) You adopt Hammerism as your new religion, just as an excuse to carry a sledge around.
1254) The sight of Victoria wrapping her vines around Garrett turns you the fuck on. (Not true for me, of course.)
12.somebody annoys you and you beat him to death with a sledgehammer cause that doesn't count as killing someone...
1255: Someone you know pisses you off and you beat him to death with a hammer because doesn't count as killing someone...
1256 You play Thief enough to still have clues that you play the original way too much even as Thief 2 comes out.
i cant belive this thread has gone on for about 1 year and 3 months.. haha
you guys rock....
1257: You replace your dog or cat with a pregnant frog
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"Who gotsy gold?" I 'gotsy' gold, ya dumb ratman!
Get back at the top you thread.
1258) You revive an old "1000 clues..." thread.
1259--You force your jumpier family members to watch you play Thief.
1260--If they resist, you blackjack them or gas them, then tie them up.
1261--You don't let them see the Haunt in the Bonehoard... you make them encounter their first Haunt in the Cathedral levels.
1262--Then, after you finish and release them, you perfect your Haunt impression, and sneak up behind your jumpy family member when he/she thinks they're alone, put your face close to their ear, and hiss, "Join us... Join us NOOOW!" causing them to either scream and run away or faint.
1263--If they run, you expect to hear, "Help! Help! Over here! He's got a sword!" or "I don't have anything... please, don't hurt me, I'm harmless... help! Guards! Save me! He's got a bow!" even if you're carrying a blackjack.
1264--You spend countless hours of energy analyzing the fictional character in Thief that you became obsessed with (usually Garrett, or Viktoria) and passionately arguing with and flaming anybody who speaks ill of them.
1265--You dream almost constantly, all day long, of this character, and either your dreams consist of saving their life, or converting them from the dark side enough to fall madly in love with you. (Hey, Doc, know what I mean? Heh...)
1266--You don't want this character to have a token love interest, or get involved with any other character, because they're not good enough for her/him, and nobody understands him/her like you do. So there. And if anyone thinks you're crazy, well, "Taff them!"
1267--You have a sudden hatred for bugs of any kind, not to mention spiders, and you kill them whenever you can because otherwise you won't finish the leve--uh, I mean, you won't have any peace of mind.
1268--When you hear that during the course of their life the average person will eat exactly eight spiders, you begin to sweat as you get a picture of the chittering gold-green psycho-arachnids in Thief and duct-tape your mouth shut every night.
1269--You read all the above rules in one sitting beginning at about 1AM, just because you've never read them before...
1270--When you get pinkeye and your eyes start bleeding pink pus, you play Thief anyway, enjoying the challenge of a 'blurred vision' option.
1271--All of a sudden, you realize with a shock that you were thinking about the person you're doing a mission with, and referring to them mentally as your 'partner in crime.'
1272--You get back online after you were finally going to go to bed just to get it on the list before you forgot.
1273--You're up this late, reading what I wrote.
1264 - 1266...
hmmmm
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