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Thread: 1000 clues that you have been playing thief way to much ...

  1. #1401
    Permanently Enlarged
    Registered: Dec 2005
    Location: I could care...but I won't.
    Actually, to be precise, LGS did that 10 years before me, when people first played Thief and thought "damn... wood woman... "

    Don't look at me if people start publishing Thief doujinshi, if they haven't already.

  2. #1402
    Member
    Registered: Jun 2008
    Location: Germany
    www.lockpickshop.com is your homepage

  3. #1403
    Quote Originally Posted by The Woodsie Lord View Post
    Please no..
    Personally I see little reason to complain. :U

  4. #1404
    Member
    Registered: Sep 2008
    Location: Slovakia - Zemplín region
    3303 : You use flares to elevate yourself to greater heights...
    3304 : You pull out a key or a set of lockpicks from your pockets and magically drift towards the door you're trying to unlock (TDS style)...
    3305 : Everytime you lean against a wall, you sigh...
    3306 : You suffer arthritis, severe pain in the knees and an aching back - because you never walk upright...
    3307 : You can do a kangaroo jump with ease...
    3308 : Everytime you see somebody moan and cough, you panic and start throwing and shooting flashbombs, holy water and fire arrows at him, with the words : "Die, undead scum !"
    3309 : Your best friend's name is Artemus.
    3310 : You only date girls named Viktoria and Zaya.
    3311 : You have a tattoo with a key on your hand.
    3312 : You pluck out your eye and invent yourself a mechanical one.
    3313 : During archery practice, you repeat Artemuse's tutorial on using the bow from the TDP training mission verbatim.
    3314 : When you get mad, you pick up a huge battle hammer and yell : "Lay thyself upon my anvil !!!"
    3315 : Your bedroom is only lit by a torch or a gas lamp. When going to sleep, you put it out with a water arrow.
    3316 : You fear lizards... There's always a possibility they'll attack you with their breath...
    3317 : You never dare to go near an orphanage or asylum.
    Last edited by Petike the Taffer; 6th Mar 2009 at 22:10.

  5. #1405
    Member
    Registered: Sep 2008
    Location: In the Present Perfect
    Quote Originally Posted by Petike the Taffer View Post
    3307 : You can do a kangaroo jump with ease...

    3311 : You have a tattoo with a key on your hand.

    3314 : When you get mad, you pick up a huge battle hammer and yell : "Lay thyself upon my anvil !!!"
    ..
    3317 : You never dare to go near an orphanage or asylum.
    3307: Can do
    3311: Plan to have one
    3314: My friends usually comment how I speak early modern English (I only say 'tis, not it's, for example), because I learned English on Tolkien and Shakespeare
    3317: Applies to me

  6. #1406
    Member
    Registered: Feb 2008
    3318: At any counter, you can't get enough ringing the bell. (Cosas: Mission X)

  7. #1407
    Member
    Registered: Sep 2008
    Location: In the Present Perfect
    3319: You get a heart attack when climbing ladders/ropes.
    3320: You can climb up anything carrying tons of loot, any amount of arrows, and a body.
    3321: You go 'ggngh' a lot
    3322: You don't breathe.
    3323: When you eat meat, you make the same sounds when eating apples.
    3324: You don't drink
    3325: Altough you drink healing potions all the time, you still have scars.
    3326: You never trip over anything - you get heart attacks.
    3327: You fart into little vials, which you tie and strap to the end of arrows.
    3328: Instead of checking your pockets, you try to roll the mouse wheel.
    3329: You know exactly how much money you have on you in cash, in gems, in goods.
    3330: Instead of bringing out a ladder (because you get heart attacks), you reach high places by grabbing any piece of junk available, and dropping it beneath you, stacking it up.
    Last edited by Herr_Garrett; 24th Feb 2009 at 03:27.

  8. #1408
    Member
    Registered: Nov 2003
    Location: Thief fan since ca. 1999
    Stibitzki 3318: At any counter, you can't get enough ringing the bell. (Cosas: Mission X)

  9. #1409
    Member
    Registered: Sep 2005
    Location: Not Kansas
    (I realize these have probably been done to death, but I'm not gonna go back through the last gazillion pages to find out.... )

    3331: You can't walk past a bunch of square crates or sturdy-looking boxes without frantically trying to stack them beneath a window. When they're stacked you try your best to jump up to the top one to see if the window is pickable. (May cause problems when you're in a grocery store.)

    3332: Whenever you have company and hear an unexpected sound you have to literally bite your tongue to keep from muttering, 'Musta been rats!'.

    3333: Whenever you hear someone approaching from out of your line of vision you look up & around and say, 'Jerrod, is that you?', regardless of where you happen to be at the moment. (Can cause problems if you & your significant other are home alone at that moment and he/she hears you say that.)

    3334: You fall madly in love with strange men that say, 'Oh yeah...', if they sound like Garrett when they say it.

    3335: You keep a blackjack in the umbrella stand near the front door, 'just in case .... ' .

    3336: You start whistling the Hammerites' chant whenever you're in an elevator, walking down a flight of stairs, or walking down a long hallway.

    3337: Instead of turning lights off by flicking the switch manually, you prefer to shoot moss arrows at them until the switch flicks into the 'off' position. (While crouching behind a corner and leaning out just enough so the arrow clears the wall, of course.)
    Last edited by Dia; 23rd Feb 2009 at 23:12.

  10. #1410
    3338 : When you return to the forums ten years after you joined them and are absolutely thrilled to see this thread still alive.

  11. #1411
    Member
    Registered: Aug 2008
    Location: in your second eyelids
    Dunno if this has been, but oh well...
    3339: On your memorial you will be buried together with Thief CDs.
    3340: If your house starts burning or something, you take the Thief CDs with you and everything else (children & stuff?) "on your way"or simply care too much about Thief to think about other stuff at all.
    3341: You find a solution to a problem by playing an FM with lots of puzzles. Either you succeed... or fail!

  12. #1412
    Member
    Registered: Aug 2006
    Location: Deutschland
    Quote Originally Posted by Thor02 View Post
    3339: On your memorial you will be buried together with Thief CDs.
    3342: Your children hear rumors about a rich guy buried with lots of treasure. They dig you out, soak you with holy water and take the Thief CDs.

  13. #1413
    Member
    Registered: Sep 2005
    Location: Not Kansas





    (Except my kids would probably use a couple fire arrows!! )




    I just realized that it was almost nine years ago that my husband sat at his PC reading '1000 clues ...' out loud to me. We were both laughing so hard tears were running down our cheeks! Been hooked on TTLG ever since!
    Last edited by Dia; 1st Mar 2009 at 15:25.

  14. #1414
    Member
    Registered: Sep 2008
    Location: In the Present Perfect
    3343: When you look down, you don't see your body.
    3344: When you die, you'll expect to become a zombie, and in fact you devise a small apparatus which, when somebody (you) tries to move the coffin's lid, sprinkles holy water all over your earthly remains.
    3345: People will have to call a priest to say a Prayer of Consecration () over your grave, because something like 'Join us, join us, join us now!' can be heard to filter out of your coffin.
    3346: When you'll be chucked into jail because you stole some fat noble's priceless trinket, you'll start to go: 'oOOOoOOOOOOoooooO, my ambitions, oh my ambitions...'

  15. #1415
    Keeper of FMs
    Registered: Oct 2004
    Location: Meraux, LA
    3347: When you get really sick and tell the doc on your third visit that you need something -ANYthing- to get well enough to play some Thief!!

  16. #1416
    Member
    Registered: Sep 2008
    Location: Slovakia - Zemplín region
    3348 : Your greatest role model besides Garrett is Benny.
    3349 : You live in a world where mythological creatures and monsters run amok, but birds, horses, livestock and most of the usual animals (except cats, rats and bugs) never show up !
    3350 : You are surprised by the fact that ancient civilizations didn't really use fluorescent tube lamps equipped with automatic sensors for lighting up the inside of their monuments.
    3351 : You always get annoyed when you sneak up on people and realize they're seated on chairs (yeah, TDS glitch reference ).
    3352 : When you were young and your mom read you scary bedtime stories about evil witches and hags, you just smiled and said confidently : "Don't worry, Mom ! An oil flask or two might do the job..." (Yes, this is the more merrier TDS glitch reference. )
    Last edited by Petike the Taffer; 8th Mar 2009 at 07:31.

  17. #1417
    Member
    Registered: Sep 2008
    Location: In the Present Perfect
    Quote Originally Posted by Petike the Taffer View Post
    3352 : When you were young and you mom read you scary bedtime stories about evil witches and hags, you just smiled and said confidently : "Don't worry, Mom ! An oil flask or two might do the job..." (Yes, this is the more merrier TDS glitch reference. )
    That one is pretty sick, but damn good

  18. #1418
    Member
    Registered: Aug 2008
    Location: in your second eyelids
    3353. Making a list of things you should do, you feel like making objectives for an FM.
    3354. You're seeing your life as an FM.

  19. #1419
    Member
    Registered: Apr 2008
    3355: Wind chimes momentarily bring a flash of excitement. Congratulations. You are now one of Pavlov's Taffers.

  20. #1420
    Member
    Registered: Sep 2008
    Location: Slovakia - Zemplín region
    Quote Originally Posted by Herr_Garrett View Post
    3346: When you'll be chucked into jail because you stole some fat noble's priceless trinket, you'll start to go: 'oOOOoOOOOOOoooooO, my ambitions, oh my ambitions...'
    Does Garrett say something like that in one of the games ? I never heard it...

  21. #1421
    jtr7
    Guest
    From an FM? A song?

  22. #1422
    Member
    Registered: Jan 2008
    Location: Sweden
    Quote Originally Posted by Petike the Taffer View Post
    Does Garrett say something like that in one of the games ? I never heard it...
    I'm not sure, but he may refer to one of the prisoners in Cragsleft.

  23. #1423
    jtr7
    Guest
    Nope! Not in the official games.

    3356: Everything's blurring together.

  24. #1424
    Keeper of FMs
    Registered: Oct 2004
    Location: Meraux, LA
    Quote Originally Posted by Neb View Post
    3355: Wind chimes momentarily bring a flash of excitement. Congratulations. You are now one of Pavlov's Taffers.
    LOL!! That also works for me with anything that makes a sound like a loot chime or a lock picking noise.

  25. #1425
    Member
    Registered: Apr 2008
    Can't say I've found anything in real life which sounds like a loot chime, but if I ever went to a Thiefy meet-up, I'd bring along a digital dictaphone with that audio sample on.

    *ZING*

    "Hey! What the hell? Where's my beer?"

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