1000 clues that you have been playing thief way to much ...

[Mr Croft]

Here we go again, I'm posting this a second time. You guys know the drill... don't post anything until I'm done posting the entire thread ok, thanks.

Here we go...

------------------
Mr Croft ~ Have you signed the
Ultima Underworld 3 Petition yet?!
Oh ya & by the way, "Go Raid Something."

[Mr Croft]

This thread was started February 12, 1999 11:40 AM

SoulStripper:
1) you lurk around the shadows of your house bashing family members on the head with small pillows..

Snoman:
2) You hear clicking at night and think there's a beachball-sized man-eating spider guarding loot right in the path of you and your bathroom.

Eon:
3) You sneak up on your family members in the dark, and hit them on the head with a half-eaten pizza... (The one you've been taking bites of during load time. Well, maybe it's not heavier but it's definetly harder! It got cold and stiff 'cause you didn't have time to eat it!!!... It did!)

Caine:
4) You instinctively dodge and roll when you hear someone belch to avoid the noxious fumes that will no doubtedly be coming out of their mouth in seconds.

Jennie:
5) As you drive into the parking lot you find yourself examining the local grocery store for ways to break in. Yeah, a rope arrow just there...

Sykophant:
6) You start making sly, and quick-witted comments, like me- err like Garrett

Caine:
7) As you stand against the wall at work you wait as people pass by and pretend to whack them over the head, just to keep in practice of course.
8) You are constantly looking around for Big Wooden Beams above you, just so that you know your not missing your chance to find something.

Digital Nightfall:
9) You begin to instinctively avoid floors that are not carpeted.
10) You remove all light bulbs from your home.
11) The word "Taffer" is a permanent addition to your daily vocabulary.

Zirnike:
12) When you need to fix your roof, you get a bow rather than a ladder.

Ekachai Jiaravanont:
13) You start treating your dog like a burrick.

Caine:
14) When a door opens you immediately look for a dark corner to hide in.
15) You make it a conscious effort to try and SNEAK into all of your co-workers offices/cubicles without being seen. Also, I have started to try to sneak in and out without being noticed. (I only have to sneak into the Executive's offices now, wish me luck)

Ghost:
16) When you pick up something by mistake you hurl it across the room because it's much easier than remembering how to just set it back down

El-NiNo:
17) You find yourself shooting moss arrows down the main hardwood hall of your house just so you can sneak to the fridge and loot it at 3:00 AM without wakin someone up. =)
.... or at least it would work that way at my house. )

plato:
18) You start walking down back alleys on your way to and from work because there are too many lights on the main road.
19) When you see a house with a balcony your first thought is how you can climb up there without the guards seeing you.
20) Start telling all your roomates there's a lost city somewhere under your house.

Spire:
21) You start calling your friends and family members "man-flesh".
22) You develop the unconscious habit of slamming doors noisily, since you're the only one who can hear them anyway.
23) When walking down the street, you stop to closely inspect every rock and pebble along the way to see if it lights up silver or gold.

ChickenHeart:
24) You cringe every time your wife and/or girlfriend removes her clothes for fear of seeing a bunch of growing vines, moss, grass, branches, leaves and stuff.
25) Your best friend tells you instead of buying Thief like you suggested, he buys Turok 2 - so you kill him.

Sykophant:
26) You suddenly find yourself watching the sunrise and sunset for a straight week considering that you'll be up from playing Thief to see em all

redEye:
27) two words: petty theft (the whole ladder thing i explained in another post ;-)
28) not only do you walk through shadows, but you look down for a little gem to see how well hidden you are.

caine? #4 is probably a good idea anyway
and ChickenHeart, you just scared me
but syko's #26 is all too true... damn you, LGS!

Arliza:
29) You now find yourself switching off the lights in your room by shooting water arrows at the bulbs.
30) When attending a funeral, you bring along a vial of holy water 'just in case'.

Sykophant:
31) You start reffering to your brothers as Murus and Martello...
32) You quote hammerite scripture at church.

Lazlo:
33) You go the the liquer store and spend an hour looking for the wine in the GOLD bottle, not the green.
34) You steal a pen from the bank teller and say "Since I'm in here I might as well pick up something for myself"

redEye:
35) you start thinking of other FPSs in terms of Thief... you know what i mean. thinking people can't see you in the shadows, checking the floor surfaces, sneaking up behind people (only works w/ the spy in TF), and comparing Thief to, say, HalfLife?

Sykophant:
36) Trying to lean around corners in other FPS's, egads it's quite annoying

Fift15n:
37) When someone insults you, you call them a flawed creation
38) You hum those catchy tunes as you walk down any hall
39) You find yourself randomly quoting people in the game subconsiosly (I do it sometimes )

JordanCS:
40) When you are in a place with shadows, you think about hiding, but then realize you aren't dressed all in black like Garrett, and anyone could spot you. (Wish I had all that damn thief like stuff!)

Faroohk:
41) You can do a perfect impression of Constantine, even when he reveals himself to you. "Viktoria, give mr. garrett his...compensation." (I scared my friends half to death doing that)

DEMON Messiah:
42) You find yourself creeping down the steet at night, getting really quiet and moving into the shadows when you hear someone approach (I love trench coats .
43) You find yourself having uncontrolable urges to sneak into peoples rooms, then after you go in, hiding in the closet when they come home and sneaking back out when they leave or have thier back turned (No comment .
44) You find yourself seriously weighing the benefits and consequences of actually becoming a thief, then remember your out of shape and just plain lazy (hehe).

ChickenHeart:
45) You are in the process of making love to your wife and right before she gives herself to you, you begin shouting in a deep, satanic voice, "Open for me!, Open for me!!, Open for MEEEEE!!! Thereby killing any chance of getting laid that evening.
46) You are at church and the minister starts reciting the Ten Commandments. When he gets to the part, "Thou shalt not steal", you begin laughing hystericaly.
47) You realize you haven't gotten your sweetheart anything for Valentines day, so you devise a plan to break into your local foundry at night to use the equipment so you can fashion her a nice little trinket. The resulting fire levels three city blocks.

Catalyst:
48) While in public places you note which people are carrying bows and which just have swords...

Nevermore:
49) When you are standing behind one of your friends, and they turn around to talk to ya, ya bolt like your ass has been set on fire. Or ya scream like a lil girl and start smacking them on the head with a blunt object repeatedly until ya kill 'em.
50) Ya stock up on holy water just before you go to a family reunion, just encase your relatives get ya cornered.

[Mr Croft]

Coot:
51) (Already used this one in an earlier post but I like it) : You imitate the drunk guards to entertain your kids

harrisben:
52) You start carrying around a thick blanket to muffle your footsteps on noisy surfaces
53) When you are sneaking through the shadows and are seen you run for the nearest water source but for some reason nobody follows you
54) When confronted with an enemy you try to lead them to someone else and pray that they will kill each other
55) you become afraid only of spiders that are bigger than your dog

Raven:
56 You try to lean round corners in real life and quake 2

Catalyst:
57) It becomes very difficult to do homework because when you go to pick up your book it doesn't glow...(same thing with doors, I haven't been able to leave this room since I got Thief. Luckily the computer is in here)
58) And when you finally DO pick it up you are confused when you don't find loose sheets of parchment paper inside.

Skapokalypse:
59) When you walk into your house when you come home, the first words that pop into your head are, "Stay in the shadows, avoid the light"

Cococlown:
59) You follow the postman after he has delivered your post to see whih depot he came from

nuboy:
60) when your looking for that munchie you know you hid in the fridge you start muttering "Don't make me come and find you"

[Mr Croft]

otep:
61) You seriously consider carrying out the scenario mentioned in the MartThief thread.

(for those who may have missed this thread, try here: http://x14.dejanews.com/[ST_rn=qs]/getdoc.xp?AN=418371260&CONTEXT=918945018.612434008&hitnum=0

Spring:
62) When ever you hear a car alarm go off, you pull out your sword and dash for the shadows.

Cybervamp1:
63) when you wife/husband/kid starts walking through the house calling your name and you shut down your monitor (lights are already off) and duck into a near by closet holding your kids sock'em bop'em and mubbling to yourself. "Don't turn around, just don't turn aroun."

ChickenHeart:
64) While attending a funeral, the crowd becomes horrified as you go to remove the deceased from the coffin and carry him down the hall. When the police officer asks you what the hell you thought you were doing, you calmly explain to him that you couldn't allow the corpse to be laying out in the open for everyone to see.

Koobze:
As soon as you finish playing another 3 hours of Thief, you
65) are momentarily blinded when you turn on the lights in your room and...
66) You cringe and look for a place to hide when you hear your EXTREMELY loud family speaking...

JordanCS:
67) You start unscrewing light bulbs in your house so the other people can't "relight the torches" and you

Sykophant:
68) You start seeing ghosts
69) AND you also start seeing Ghosts

Snoman:
Hah!
70) and wherever you post, the "ghost" always haunts you!

Ghost:
71) You kill dead things and they get right back up!

Catalyst:
72) You often find yourself contemplating the wooden beams above your head...

Sadism:
73) because Cococlown screwed up and posted a double #59! Anyway, here's what I have to say.
74) You paint the Trickster's symbol on your forehead and wear false horns and yellow contact lenses daily.

Coco Clown:
75) You get REALLY frustrated when playing other FPS's (Half Life in particular at the moment) and curse the designers for not including rope arrows (I LOVE those).

Catalyst:
76) Your father belches at the dinner table and you hightail it out of there before all those little circles drop your framerate to 2fps.

SliM:
77) you go to your local graveyard hoping to find lots of silver and gold hidden in a gigantic burial complex.
78) You actually own a blackjack/lockpicks/bow/etc

Cadfael:
Just acause Ayes does own some the aforementioned tools does not mean Aye plays to much. In fact Aye'' ave yer know that Aye learned to pick locks in the army, an lots o'folks have bows. Many normal people creep around at night without any bad intent at all. Its just a hobby like stamp collectin er raisin tropical fish (oh Aye said fish, easy friend yer'll get out o'the water. An Ayes sorry about offerin to shoot yer in the throat)

79) yer starts to talk about Garret's hairstyle.

redEye:
80) you start talking kanadian, like cadfael does

Shalinor:
81) You rig up a little rubberband bow and shoot paperclips at your cat, trying to guess at how much the paperclip hurts in different areas.
82) You start participating in "100 ways to tell you've been playing too much Thief" posts...

Keldar:
83) You forgets your realname and signs with Garret - Theif
84) You desperatly uses: Lynx a txt-only browser for Linux, to get past the school firewall and post a reply at this forum

Kyloe:
85) When you're on the night watch, you try not to whistle, knowing this could provoke a violent attack.
86) You rename your windows editor to 'DromEd' and pretend it's the real thing.
87) You start designing your own levels.
88) You share your levels with friends.
89) You look up mantling in the dictionary.

MarkA:
90) You take your new copy of Thief to a party and copy it onto your friend's computer, and then proceed to get drunker and drunker, as per the usual at parties, only you keep playing Thief, with messier results, until you're giggling hysterically and charging the front gate of Bafford's castle.

redEye:
91) like MarkA said in another thread (and like I've done many times) "This game is full of 'Thief moments' that you'll probably find yourself telling to friends who could care less."

Keef:
92) Your kids get you in trouble by playing games like 'You be a thief, and I just made a big hammer'.
(The SO just glared for minutes when she heard that. Sigh.)

Cybervamp1:
93) your watching tv when your 4 year old sneaks up behind you, whacks you in the head with a nerf bat, grabs the remote from your hand, switches the tv to the "Cartoon Network", then runs and jumps behind the couch then leans around the edge to see if you get up.
94) when you go to the store at night and park your car in the darkest parking spot.
95) while checking out at the store, you think to yourself, if I could only run that Thief trainer for unlimited money, and smile.

Catalyst:
96) You replay entire levels in your head in perfect detail while trying to go to sleep.
97) while doing this you missed 100 loot and spend the next 2 hours retracing your steps (in your head).
98) You FIND the missing 100 loot just before you doze off.

redEye:
99) You start to spend way too much time on Thief messageboards...
100) You realize that there's no such thing as too much Thief!

heehee... awww yeah.
may need a couple more, due to repeats, but we done good. now who's going to record this for posterity?

[Mr Croft]

RazrBlade:
Ok, I know this one is over but I have
101) You play entire levels of Thief in your head, trying to find the optimum time to move between guard patrols while having a vasectomy to take your mind off the ominous snipping sounds.

Dangus:
102) When you see Catholic priests with their insence "bong", you hear it talking to you, telling you to release it from the hands of the oppressive fanatics.
103) You drive with your headlights off, so that no one else will see you comming.
104) You make a bunch of little hammerite dolls, then you stab them, and club them, and take them to a dark spot in the basement, and make a hammerite corpse pile, then laugh maniacally.
105) You spend 3 hours beating on the keeper that comes out to fence with you, and laugh so hard that you have a fatal heart attack.
106) You pirate the game, after you have already bought it, just so that you can feel like you are stealing it.
107) You start seeing ghosts around the house, but you don't worry cause your new sword can kill em up good.
108) Much to your cat's dismay, you ambush him and blackjack him with a stuffed sock.
109) You find yourself trying to climb on to your own roof, just to see if god made a mistake in the level.
110) You compulsively post on top "whatever" lists about how insane you are.

Andman:
111) You start drawing maps of your friends house before you are going over for a visit.
112) Before you visit your friend you sit in your dark room for hours, studying the maps, trying to find the best way in...
113) ...only to find out that you cannot get out of your own room because the door will not light up when you look at it.
114) You can`t understand why the homemade rope arrows you shoot in the ceiling will not hold you up when you try to climb them.
115) When people ask you to do a favour, you try to see if they have hooves instead of legs. You can never know if some relative of Constantine comes to take revenge...
116) You wonder if your old teacher is worth trying to kill, or if she just will get to her feet again and making moaning sounds.
117) You grab people you dont like and drop them down small puddles of water to watch them drown.
118) you cant understand why people start to curse and shout at you instead of attacking or dropping to the ground after you bumped them on the head with your homemade blackjack.
119) When you notice someone sees you sneaking around in the shadows, you wonder why they just stand there, looking weird at you instead of running for the guards or shouting for help.

Caine:
120) While on a weekend vacation you stress about the fact that in 2 days of not checking this board you will come back and there will be about 500 new messages to read.

Catalyst:
121) While playing AD&D you are asked to make a map of the cave system you just entered. At the heart of the cave (and after collecting the loot) your companions ask for the map in an effort to find the way out again. You produce only a piece of paper with a large circle drawn on it, it's labeled: CAVE. After receiving several threatening glares you reply in complete innocence, "What?"
(I just love the blank looks your friends give you when they ask where the automap is in Thief and you show them that rough square with a blue patch on it.)

yourdad:
122) ....You forget and let your beer get hot while playing!!!!!God help us all!

redEye:
123) You're standing in a nice big double doorway in a bit of a shadow. Your friend walks by with his back to you and begins to whistle, and you have the uncontrollable urge to thwack him upside the head. (true story, actually )

[Mr Croft]

Marius:
124) You envy your pet snakes because they don't have to get up and go down the hall to use the bathroom...and they only have to go once a week.

Kyran Ward:
125) You become genuinely irritated when someone turns on the light and interrupts your game. You then get increasingly more and more frustrated as they yammer on and on about the so-called "real world."
126) You find yourself unconsciously humming that eerie tune the Hammerites are always whistling.
127) You know every single nook and cranny of the Bafford Mansion by heart because you played through that godforsaken place over and over and over again in the demo while you waited in frustrated agony for the local gaming store to at long last acquire a copy of Thief.
128) You sometimes reload saved games of Thief several times just to replay specific successful dispatchments of guards. ("Now I'll try a fire arrow/gas mine combination...")
129) You eat a loaf of bread and wonder why it doesn't sound like an apple when you bite into it.
130) When you aren't playing Thief, you're on the internet looking up Thief-related content.
131) You join this forum just so you can contribute to this damn list.

NightHawk:
132) You can understand Cadfael.

MarkA:
133) (May already have been used!) You decide one day to actually play a traditional FPS after days of playing Thief, and get your sorry rear end smacked around soundly because you were too busy trying to sneak up quietly on a group of headcrabs from Half-Life. (Happened to me last night )

redEye:
134) At dinner, you find a strangely shaped roll and lift it up - and your friend already knows that it's shaped exactly like a blackjack.

RobPilk:
135) You pluck out your own eyeball just to see if you retain full vision like Garrett.
136) During the daylight hours you collect;
a.your farts for your gas arrows
b.moss from the trees in your yard
c.water in zip-lock baggies
d.tooth floss (and twist it into rope)for your rope arrows
e.your kid's pinwheel noisemakers for those useless noisemaker arrows
f.paper clips to be fasioned into lock picks
g.keys for which everone has forgotten where they are used (doesn't everyone have all these old keys lying in some drawer or box, with the hopes that one day we'll remember what they went to?)

137) You try and decide whether it would be better to "jack" your boss in the back of the head or go for the backstab damage (hmmmm, can't remember if I'm playing Expert or Normal difficulty).
138) You find yourself practicing picking all the locks in your house.
139) You find yourself pointing at objects in the distance, and waiting for your eyes to starting "zooming" in on them.
140) You start perusing the local pawnshops hoping to make good contacts or find someone named Cutty.
141) Get lost while driving and try looking in the glove box for that walkthrough you downloaded "just-in-case".

eciton:
142) You buy a TNT card for that authentic Pitch Blackness.
143) You wear slippers on all occasions, to make less noise.
144) You throw out all clothes that aren't black.
145) You wrap your keys and small change in foam so they won't jingle and give you away to your close family.
146) You cut down the tree outside your house and unplug everything in your house so you can hear the guards' footsteps.

Raven:
147) You read all 146 clues and conclude that you have been playing thief way to much!

Jennie:
148) You hear the baby cry in the middle of the night and dream that you creep downstairs, shoot a gas arrow at the dresser next to the crib, then assume the problem is taken care of so you fall deep asleep again, and are really baffled when you actually wake up a few minutes later because he is still crying.

DEMON Messiah:
149) You can pick a lock in real life faster than Garett can in the game. (You started 'cause you wanted to be like him, but now you think you'd make an even better thief than him, until you try to get into a room full of people and find out that it's really, really hard to stay unnoticed. Damn people, too untrusting these days.)

lothril:
150) you spend £120 in a 3d card while being incredibly overdrawn (£800)and will not get any money for 2 months...ahhhh!

boXterduke:
151) Playing Return to Cathedral and going to get some water only to feel a hand pulling your arm at 5AM

Lytha:
152) You realize that you keep your breath when Garrett is diving in the weird water thing in Maw of Chaos - and you dont dare to gasp for air until he left the water because you fear to drown. When you dont make the jump in the first try, some of your brain cells die a horrible death caused by oxygen deficieny.
153) You decide to search for the sentence with the word "doetten" in your local snd.crf-file and find it immediatly, because you know the meaning of "ab1a3na5.wav" and must only listen through 6 files to get the right one.

(And you realize that you spent too much time in this forum when you join this thread.)

SoulStripper:
154) horrible mouse pad burns on you bottom fo your right pinky finger.
I cant belive this post is still kicking!

Catfish:
155 The arrow keys on the keypad don't pop back up when pressed. Hah!! Post # 100 !!!!!

Dangus:
156) You are on a thread that exceeds 100 posts..

Keldar:
157) You steal your kid´s plastic sword and carry it with you wherever you go, just in case...

Ghost:
158) you're running down the hallway (in the game) and see a guard, at the same time as you pull garret back into the shadows you lean back in your chair and hold your breath so he doesn't see or hear you...i've caught myself doing that...bet if you pay attention to your movements while playing you will too =P

NaeS:
159) You stack TEN! boxes on top of each other just to get to that space above the balcony that those archers stand on in the Manor.

Kyran Ward:
160) No matter where you are, you stop anyone who asks you something mid-question and ask "Wait, in Thief?"

Catalyst:
161) Ten boxes takes a lot of work to stack.
(I just went up the stairs myself.)

Huckeye:
162) You pick up a book, and are confused when it is longer than one page, and reads cohearently.

Keldar:
163) You acually remember your password to this forum
164) Your friends thinks that you have died, cause they don´t see you anymore.
165) You steal everything thay ain´t nailed to the floor
166) You sleep croutching becource you can´t lay down

Cadfael:
167) Some folk tells yer what it be and what it aint yer right to do and yer thinks to yerself "that be Hammerspeak if ever Aye heard it."

NightHawk:
168) You wish Quake2 and Half-Life had a blackjack, so you could knock some guy out and drag him away to put him in your "casualties-of-war" pile. {Ha! take that camper)

Dog Ma:
169 Despite your best intentions, you find you are having sexual fantasies about Viktoria.

Archdaemon:
170) You've read the previous 169 clues and if you aren't already doing them you think,"Hey, I should try that..."
171) You wonder how all these people on some odd and obscure internet forum know your every move... they've been watching from shadows better than your own!
172) If they don't talk like Cadfael, you don't know what they're saying.
173) You have a nervous breakdown at school, because there is absolutely nowhere to hide!
174) You found this forum in the first place.
175) You've bought copies for your friends, free of charge, just so they'll know what you're raving about.
176) You have a net party, get all your friends down and hooked up to your hub, all set to play a multiplayer shooter, but instead all load up thief and race each other.
177) If you step in a puddle or anything deeper, you are suddenly unable to fully utilize your hands...
178) It's midnight, cloudy, the blinds are closed, there's not a light in the house, you're wearing black clothing and sunglasses, and it's still not dark enough for you!
179) You've been treated on several occasions for injuries recieved while climbing rope arrows fashioned from those little plastic suction cup play bows.
180) You spend every second of every day obsessing over thief, and if someone tries to change the subject, you throw a vase to the floor to distract them and then beat them unconscious.
181) You have recently acquired both a criminal record and a court order to attend therapy.
182) You write Thief poetry:
I stole my neighbor's car last night,
after playing my new computer game.
He was evil so it's alright
but this poem is pretty lame.

183) You have "(Your Name) + Viktoria, 4Ever" tattooed on your ass. Well, Viktoria or Garrett, depending on your gender or preference.
184) You only recently learned that 'theif' is incorrect. Thief.. i before e, except if you're me, at which point bad habits stay with you forever.
185) You've read a ton of these clues and still manage to come up with a few original ones.
186) Your portfolio for the university art department scholarship consists only of Thief-inspired pieces... (wish me luck- hopefully the head of the department owns the game... if not.. think I should buy him one? Would that be construed as bribery? Help!)
187) The real world is simply a cutscene.
188) You've spent the last 3 weeks trying to create realistic Theif models in 3DStudioMax, but can't get his hood to look right!
189) You get the hood to look right.
190) The paintjob on your car is the same as the box cover, and you now call your auto the 'ThiefMobile of Ultimate Stealth", even though something on the axle is loose and it wakes everyone in the neighborhood when you start it up to run to the store at 4AM to get a frozen pizza 'cause you're really hungry but want something simple and tasty. Mmm.... frozen pizza...
191) The nightshift at the store knows your name.
192) You stop believing in God because the guy in church preaches that computer games are the tool of the devil.
193) You can't remember what job it is that you were recently fired from... did I even have a job? Maybe I'm supposed to be in school... What are these divorce papers? I was married?
194) Your computer crashes, all of your taxes are lost, all of your homework, all of your business records... but you don't care, because you backed up your Thief savegames. Wahoo!!!!
195) You've programmed your own version of Thief onto your school calculator (those of you with Texas Instruments graphing calculators know what I'm talking about).
196) You write an expert level walkthru, all loot included, in half an hour without even turning the game on. And it's accurate.
197) You name your baby Garrett. Your baby is female, but you don't care...twitch... it's name is Garrett! End of conversation. Ok, I'll consider Viktoria. But then she'll grow up evil, I tell you, evil!
198) You've removed every unneccessary key from your keyboard so that they don't get in the way.
199) You luv your fellow forum members enough to let someone else have the number 200. xoxo

JordanCS:
200) When chatting with Boojum or EvilSpirit, you put the picture of Laura or Tim from the credits in freeze frame so it seems like you're teleconferencing.

[Mr Croft]

Keldar:
201) U go insane when someone comes up with a secret that u did not know.
202) U have acually found all the loot at The Bonehoard, The Sword and Escape!

[Mr Croft]

Andman:
203) When you actually have nothing more to post here, but post anyway just to get this topic to the top of the list.

Dangus:
204) Everytime your dog turns toward you, you dive for cover, expecting a spray of noxious gas to spew forth from the lil pup.
205) You have to stop yourself from robbing the church while everyone is in the chapel.
206) You start stealing things from yourself, just to see if you can get away with it, then realizing the strangness of this, just shrug and drink some more shroom tea.
207) You sneak up on someone in a well lit room only to be dissapointed that it wasn't your skill that allowed you to suceed, it was the fact that they were totally deaf.
208) You go to the beach and build sand castles and dedicate them to the Builder.
209) You wake up and see your family in the hall, and thinking they are ratmen/apemen, you blackjack them and scream, "Can't smell me now can you!!".
210) You start thinking of people on this forum as family, and occasionally call your real family, "RedEye", or "Ghost", or "boojum", etc..
211) When sneaking up on someone in the game, you swing your blackjack at them, then cursing your stupidity as you hit your monitor with your homemade blackjack.
212) You freak out when you are taking a trip and you look at the road map, and are certain that it must be a trick, as no one would make a map with this much detail without some sort of hidden agenda.
213) You have to go talk to your boss, and you suddenly picture him as Constantine, and freak out as he changes. Then you end up living in your car.
214) You go to a police academy, but you fail because in the shooting gallery, you keep sneaking up on the pop-up bad guys, and trying to club them with the butt of your gun, so it doesn't make as much noise.
215) Someone comes to rob your house, and you discover them, and tell them that you are going to have to call the gaurds if they don't stop blundering this job so bad.
216) When playing Armored Fist2, you try to "sneak" you tank column right up behind the enemy tanks, artillery, anti-tank towers, and fire-base. You die.

Catalyst:
217) You KO every guard in Constantine's house and drag them all outside JUST to take a screenshot of them.

Catfish:
218) You feel you can no longer stand the needless burrik slaughter and set up the FBI: Foundation for Burrik Inshrinement So WHO'S WITH ME!!!!!

kfgecko:
219) You walk around your house around 6 pm mumbling to yourself, "... when are they gonna bring me my dinnner? That's what I wanna know is when are they gonna bring me my dinner??..."

Lytha:
220) You join Catfishs FBI.
221) You wish you had a pet Burrick in your cellar.
222) You buy lots ot Lovecraft stories and read them in only one day.
223) You decide at 1:00 a.m. that you want to play RTC now, because you think now that this is one of the greatest maps of the game.
224) You decide that you dont want to finish that map in the easy way now, because the long way is scarier and because the night is still young.

Archdaemon:
225) Plastic surgery to look like your favorite Looking Glass employee. (Be afraid, EvilSpirit. Be very afraid.)
226) You refuse to post further 'top 1000 clues' messages because that would waste valuable Thief-playing time.
227) You post another one anyway, just because you can.

Lytha:
228) ... and at 6:15 a.m. you decide that Murus is the one and only problem in RTC - he caused you to deal this much damage. (329 dealt, that is too much!). You decide that you will try the map again, and then grab every loot before stealing eye. When you lock the main entrance (5 minutes before stealing the eye), you will be able to use the entrance as exit. No Murus = no damage dealt.

Sloth:
229) You understand what Lytha is talking about in #228
230) You challenge someone to a foot race and are beaten badly so you ask for a rematch this time with your opponenent wearing heavy armor and carrying a heavy sword when you lose a second time you call him a cheater grab his sword and try to kill him. Your unarmed oppenent promptly kicks your ass (of course)
231) You see a spider on the floor and decide to kill it with a rolled up newspaper. You swat at it and miss high. You try again this time taking careful aim considering all possible variables, and you miss low. After swatting at it 50 or 60 times the spider jumps over your head and bites you in the ass.

MarkA:
232) You don't just have a dream about Thief, you dream you are wandering around a Thief-like world underground, and it's not just a dream, it's a full-fledged toss and turn, wake up sweaty and horrified /nightmare/ that sticks with you for days, and somehow involves having to backstab Minsc from Baldur's Gate. Man, what a weird, weird dream....Remind me never to play any level set after The Sword late at night again...oy.

NightHawk:
233) Too much Thief, how can you have too much Thief???

GreyMouser:
234) Your monitor starts to freak but you don't worry 'cause playing "blind thief" could be the next big challenge.
235) and thinking about vision, you realize how appropiate it is you have no VR glasses because Garret has lost his depth vision anyway - or one of the glasses would have to go blank.

And you think of looking up the rights words in your Foley/van Dam for a posting on this board.

Neumann:
236) LIFE BECOMES BIG UNDERCOVER MISSION.

Lytha:
237) You play indeed the last 3 maps with absolutly no Gamma to get the half-blind feeling.
238) You finish the game once again. You enjoy yourself and hop up and down like a coward, just because you managed it with only 826 damage dealt in the whole game.
239) You feel so great and skilled now that you decide to play once again, this time as "Garrett - The psychopathic mass murderer".

Shadow-Holder:
240) When you sleep at night shadows of burricks , monkey men, Hammerites begin to dissolve out of the walls. You slowly pull your teddy bear out from under your pillow and attack the evil demons that have come to inavade your life, you hit you hit until no more.

Faroohk:
241) You've memorized Ramirez's pattern around his room so well that you can follow him around and never get caught.
242) You can repeat Ramirez's monologue verbatim.
243) You know Constantine's entire incantation ritual.

The Magpie:
244) You find yourself looking for glowing mushroom tea when you're out shopping.
245) Since you don't find any, you add some fabric softener to your regular tea and drink it under a fluorescent lamp to simulate the effect.
246) You consider writing a Lonely Planet guide to The City.
247) When swimming, you no longer dare to dive beneath the surface because the little green bubbles have vanished.

Lytha:
248) At work again, you are finally able to frighten some of your users in the local domain by sneaking into their offices without getting seen - until you are just beneath them.
249) Your co-workers say that you changed whilst your vacancy, and that such a long vacancy might not be good for you. (I really have to finish my psychic runthrough...)
250) You are part of a strange love triangle in this forum.

[Mr Croft]

Matéo:
251) You suddenly have a newfound respect for the stealth and tactics of O.J. Simpson, so you decide to give him a call to get some pointers. "Okay, so you reccomend a black ski cap, black leather gloves, and Bruno Mahli shoes..., I'll be sure to try those out on my next mission." (This is assuming you can get in touch with him, he's probably still busy hunting down the "real killers".

Matéo:
252) You will wear no shoes other than black wrestling shoes, for that extra bit of stealth they provide. (I am guilty of this one)
253) You work in what was once a mid 19th century armory, and you sometimes are there to close the place up and arm the security system, at which time you practice sneaking past the motion detectors. (I do work in a building like this, haven't tried beating the motion detectors, though).
254) No matter where you are, you always note which doors and floorboards creak when opened/stepped on.

Archdaemon:
255) "Laptop at your own mother's funeral" mean anything to anyone? And during the 'moment of silence', you start crying uncontrollably... because you didn't put the bridge across in Lost City...
256) Another Thief poem:
I have a wallet that isn't mine
and all new credit cards, too.
Used the cash for a parking fine
On the car I stole in #182.

redEye:
257) You've got at least one copy of this list on your HD for "backup purposes," or for easy access, so you can...
258) You use these clues as a checklist of things to do.

NightHawk:
259) Whenever you blackjack someone, you jump so that you get the cool stat "Knockouts while airborne" at the debriefing screen.
260) Whenever you blackjack someone, you jump so that you get the cool stat "Knockouts while airborne" on you Police Record.

redEye:
261) In Vegas or with friends, you can't take blackjack seriously... you always sneak up behind friends and try to hit 'em with the jack of clubs.

cynicle:
262) When you walk up to walls while sneaking around in school because your sluffing. You think you can lean out as far as you want without being seen

Archdaemon:
263) Another (sing this to Blues):
The patch won't work, but I don't care,
'cause none of my sorrows will it repair.
With Hardware On, the walls turn white,
realized on level 2 that this wasn't right.
I've got a 3dlabs chipset permedia 2;
When oh when is the next fix-it due?
Oh I got da blues.... yeah, videocard blues.

God I'm sick. That one was the worst yet...

Thumper:
264) You jump at the sound of your own voice.
265) When you're rearranging your furniture and such, you're puzzled by the fact that you can't get it to float just above the ground.
266) You are unable climb into bed. You have to get a running start and leap into it.
267) You replace your nice soft matress with one of wood.

Lytha:
268) You find your name in the Topic of at least 2 actual threads in the forum.

Keldar:
269) U can´t think of any other method to pick up girls, than releasing their brothers from prison.
270) U dig up the graves at the local garveyard, searching for the golden ribcage. (Where is it?????)

CHILLman:
271) You started a thread entitled "1000 clues that you have been playing thief way to much ........" and actually checked the "Check here to be notified by email whenever someone replies to your topic." option.

NightHawk:
272) Are amazed and puzzled to look down and see feet.

[Mr Croft]

Jyre:
273) You turn the forum into a multiplayer site

Catalyst:
274) Or the final battleground of Good and Evil...

redEye:
275) You notice strange real-life Thiefy-things (whoa! the pittsburgh penguins' coach is named Constantine! - kinda weak, but i like it anyway - and none of you can get rid of it! nanny-nanny-boo-boo! ;Þ) (shddup, DN )
276) Your favorite scene in Analyze This was where the guy whipped out a blackjack, just because.
277) You get the crazy idea that it would be better to play Thief hung over so you're more sensitive to light .

Dangus:
278) You go to the movies with a pocket full of blackjacks and bludgeon people who cruncha their popcorn too loud, haha. I swing the blackjack in the dark *swish* who it'll hit nobody knows. OOoof! There one hit!

Ninja:
279) You attempt to bring Thief into other games! (Namely EverQuest )

Lytha:
280) You are annoyed by a User at work. You decide that you should plan a revenge. Somehow, only Thief-like methods of revenge come into your mind: I.e. follow him to his home, grab his GoldCSticks, get some incriminating evidence.
281) You spent almost every lunchtime by discussing with your colleague whether Thief has great graphics or not. You do this since amost 4 weeks now.
282) You make this colleague indeed believe that Thief has great graphics.

JimmyTheHand:
283) Your cat just came out of a coma because you forgot to consider weight as a factor when you made a "Homemade" gas mine a little too strong...oooops

Teppic:
284) You start to look for ways into peoples houses when on your paper round.
285) You start to decide what equipment from the DIY boc you cn use as substitute swords and blackjacks.
286) You start to ask yourself, would I really kill?

Thumper:
287) You find yourself frantically trying to finish something because you hear footsteps coming down the hall.
288) You make a Windows theme where all the sounds are mapped to random giggles.
289) You turn away from a door as a guard walks by because you're afraid he'll see the glow.
290) You spend an hour trying to see if it is possible to blackjack a large spider.

Stonewall:
291) You chuckle while reading this thread, because even though you have actually done some of the things mentioned, you know YOU dont have a problem.

CHILLman:
Hmm.. only 9 more to 300. Let's see, here's one...
292) You walk outside, see this bright orange ball in the sky and say "What the hell is that!?"

rock-crawler:
293) After upgrading to a new 3d card (up from voodoo1 4mb to voodoo2 16 mb), you start up the game (replaying "sword") and seriously consider never playing again because it looks like the local "pd" are overhead shining their lights right on you, and you are getting REAL nervous about the lack of shadows. You can't just be happy that the picture is SOOOO much better, all you can think is "wherearetheshadows?""wherearetheshadows?""wherearetheshadows?""wherearetheshadows?""wherearetheshadows?".................

NemesisDED:
294) Just to see if you can do it, you spend 45 minutes firing rope arrows into the ceilings on RTC and then jumping from one to another. You achieve nothing but prove to yourself it can be done.
295) After reading stupidly innane and pointeless ideas like the aforementioned, you actually try them out for youself.

Ninja:
296) While at work, you spend more time reading the Thief forum than you do working!
297) While at home, you spend more time reading the Thief forum then actually playing Thief!

Anti-Light:
I guess I should finally add to this thread.
298) If you go to school. When at school, you try to walk very slowly and quietly in hopes of not getting caught by the Tafferized pricipal fpr being late. And when you get caught you wonder if Garrett had the sa,e trouble? Hmmm
PS I HAVE done this.

Snoman:
299) Do you know how long it takes to read a month's worth of threads???!!?

rock-crawler:
300 Yeehah!!) On EVERY SINGLE level you run around looking for crates and low walls to stack them against, and wooden walls/beams to shoot rope arrows into...... You KNOW theres nothing up there (most of the time, lost city) but you cannot resist taking a look.......

[Mr Croft]

Thumper:
301) In a fit of redecorating, you go out and buy lots of crates and barrels. But, not the large barrels because you can't find anything sufficiently indestructable.
302) You nail all your furniture to the floor because you're disturbed by how easily it moves.
303) You nail some chairs to the ceiling.
304) You insist on putting out the dinner candles with a squirt gun. From the doorway, on the other side of the room.
305) You feel compelled to reach the end of this thread without having to kill it.

CardinalFang:
Heh heh.. this thread is cool! Did you know that if you keep adding to a thread it will eventually explode?
306) While talking with co-workers, you realize that you are referring to your boss as "the Sir".
307) You sit down in front of your computer at work, and, without thinking, start searching for your Thief CD to pop in the drive. Then you remember that 1) you have work to do, and 2) your work computer is a Mac
308) You ditch work to go home and play Thief.
309) Angry that "the Sir" terminated your employment for walking out, you sneak into his house in the middle of the night and club him on the back of the head while he's counting his money in the basement.

Fenn:
310) You edit the startup and shutdown graphics on your computer so that they are cutscenes from Thief.
P.S. If you want to do this, the files you need to edit are logo.sys, logow.sys, and logos.sys. They are hidden, system, read-only files but that's easy to change with Windows Explorer.
P.P.s. I have really done this. It looks so cool.

311) When you boot up your computer it automatically loads Thief.

Lytha:
Good idea. Lets continue this thread, until the red spiders invade again.
310) You have in this moment 6 non-finished runthroughs of Thief where you play the extreme sub-types of Thieves. You know that you will probably never find an end, because the "Assassin"-typus (kill ony one target, carry the victim to weird places; sneak around the others in the "Lytha-way") proves to be great fun, and you can't stop imaging trickier targets and locations (Ramirez into the Home turf?)

Ishy:
Do you realise that this thread has more posts than any of the non-LGS forums on this domain? This is insane!! It suits us perfectly!
311) You lend someone Thief, then get so frustrated with not being able to play it that you download BOTH demos. At 1.6 kbps.

Rolander:
Hi! This is my first post here. I have not bought Thief but...
312) You had a dream of a glorious blackjacking party...
313) You dreamt of playing thief, and dreamt of fumbling to reload when you were discovered by a guard during your dream-game of thief! And you dreamt of heaving a sight of relief when you successfully reloaded your dream-game before the guard cuts you down...
P.S. I only played the demos, but I had both dreams not 6 hours ago q8-7
P.S.S. I wonder what would have happened if I was actually killed by the guard in my dream-game... Maybe I would have woken up screaming...

redEye:
LOL... rock-crawler, i'm about to do #293 (new video card) - maybe i'll actually be able to play Thief on my machine now. my roommate should be really happy about that...
314) You return to the board and are ... speechless to find this thread still alive and kicking. It's worse than a zombie!

Ninja:
315) You add something to the list just for the sheer hell of it, hoping to keep the thread active because you want some new ideas for things to do in RL!

Lytha:
316) You spend ages with the approach to do funny patterns with unconcious bodies.
317) You spend ages on Baffords with carrying the assassinated corpse of your target over the roof, just to drop it in the entrance-area of the mansion. (Only because you want to test your newest playing style, the "Assassin.")

Flincher:
318) Chore list consits of: I have planned a simple job for this evening. Break into a guarded mansion steal anouther.....
319) You free a convicted fellon from jail just for the sheer hell of it. Then when hes free u club him and put him back where u found him.. all without alerting anybody!!!!

rock-crawler:
320) Everytime you come into this particular forum, you hear an unearthly moan from somewhere near your feet, and the smell of rotting flesh invades your nostrils, there is a sudden shuffling from somewhere REALLY CLOSE behind you, and you wish you hadn't wasted all your holy water trying to kill the "how are you supposed to become a member?" thread. Yes folks, this is truly the forum from hell. Very undead, and bound to make to make you wake, screaming, in the dark of night as you realize that, yes you too have one more contribution to make........

Thumper:
321) You've memorized all of the guards sayings. You even have the motions down. Now you're working on making your voice sound like several different people for that extra bit of realism.
322) You contemplate digging a tunnel from the bottom of your swimming pool to your neighbors...

Fingers Ferkin:
323) You join a forum where everyone is much more experienced at THIEF than you are and you think you know what they're on about...

Knife:
324) You constantly shush your friend who's sitting beside you making comments on the game while you're playing Thief, and you keep saying "Shhh! They'll hear you talking! Shut up!" over and over again to your friend.

Creslin:
325) You help found a guild in EverQuest called the Keepers and actually continue and spend time doing it.

Ninja:
Creslin: Hey, that was my line! And already used!
326) You awaken in the morning with a keyboard imprint on your face and a zombie approaching you. And your reflexes are still good enough to vanish before he notices you!

Lightfoot:
Okay, I found these at the bottom of the barrel...
327) You Find yourself getting nervous whenever you're carrying anything shiny in your hands.
328) You start breaking into the local church dressed up as an altar boy.
329) You find yourself wishing your friends would stand closer together so you wouldn't have to waste gas arrows.
330) Whenever you finish a difficult task at work, you find yourself hitting "F11."
331) Whenever you get near a graveyard, you keep wishing for a mission with more live humans.
332) You go into funhouses looking for magic swords.
333) You keep sneaking into the local power grid center to shut the streetlights off.
334) At your doctor's appointment, you look for the display with the line of little shields to see how healthy you are.
335) A close friend dies and you find yourself fretting about what new objectives you have.
336) You find yourself looking for hidden levers while in church.
337) When you get your paycheck, you start speculating about how many water arrows you can buy with it.
338) One confused night at a casino leaves you with a pile of unconscious card dealers.
339) One word: kleptomania.

Secret thief weapon: poprocks and a can of pepsi,
Gordon Lightfoot
Registered Member, Guild of Thieves,
Burglars, Housebreakers and Allied Trades
113 Treacle Street, Ankh-Morpork

Taxa:
340) You spent an absolute fortune on converting expensive oak arrows to hold small capsules of water on the end and when asked "What are we going to do with these?" you reply "I dunno, toss em into a well or somthing"

[Mr Croft]

STRUMA:
341) You find yourself trying to fill one of these lists.

Ninja:
342) You finally succeed in killing the list, only to realise that you've failed the

Bed:
343) You've just read through 342 entries in one go and you want more!
344) You havn't even finished the game yet (Up to THC) and you want the Level Editor to come out
345) Thief is the first fullprice game you've ever bought because you were so impressed and hooked on the demo (true!)

CardinalFang:
346) While visiting someone's home, you spy a pair of golden candlesticks and your immediate reflex is to "right-click" on them. (actually happened to me yesterday!)

Tommyboy:
You make post #347.

Khalid:
(Sorry if these have been done already but I don't have time to read all of these entries)
348) You have no dishes left in the house because you can't pick one up without throwing it against the wall.
348) You are the only person in your neighborhood with an electric bill of $0.
349) You find yourself stealing things from your own house.
350) You carry a compass around with you all the time.
351) You can eat an apple, bread, cheese, whatever in less than a second.
352) You don't really read this board...it's just for show.
That's all for now.....................

[Mr Croft]

GhostSoldier:
Yeesh, those really sucked. Let's see if I can do worse...

353) You think this board is just a really complicated walkthrough.
354) You are playing right now.

GreyMouser:
That was a classic, Tommyboy. Congrats.
355) You find yourself referring to T:TDP in cultural and philosophical conversations.

GreyMouser:
356) You lurk for hours in the shadows of the forum, waiting to hit the 10,000th post. There, I hear it coming... wait... wait... raise...

GreyMouser:
357) having done that, you decide to pour yourself a tea. You notice your hands are slightly shaking from the adrenaline, just as if you were playing a difficult Thief mission.

Lytha:
358) At 3:00 a.m. you realize that you have spent another 3 hours with the snd.crf. You prefer now additional to the classic "bkrun_1.wav" the sound files "vikgig4.wav" and "m13str.wav." And of course the classic "fb1att_1.wav."
359) And you learned in those last three hours how to giggle like "vikgig3.wav" and to laugh like "hh1a3_6.wav". Now you are looking forward to test it Tuesday, at work.

MasterP22:
360) You find yourself singing the Lion King sound track because you're afraid of all the noises in RTC. (There's a lovely bunch of coconuts diddlidy.... here they come a'dancing in the rain
361 You're experiencing severe withdrawal and are becoming more and more manic-depressive because you made the mistake of lending Thief to someone 7 days, 2 hours and 38 minutes ago... and now they won't give it back

Sudian_The_Assasin:
362) You go around in a very big cloak that you made out of navy blue bedsheets and make arrows with wooden heads out of twigs that you chase your pets around the house with pelting yelling "Who's the taffer now, bitch?"
364) You back into a defensive crouch when you see a lizard because you are afraid it will breathe toxic gas on you and everyone laughs at you...What? This didn't happen to everyone else?
365) You walk into a jewelry store and manage to steal a gold chain only to get busted trying to sell it to an undercover cop who you thought was a "fence" then you get thrown in solitary for trying to pick the lock to your cell.

rock-crawler:
366) You realise this thread will never truly die as long as there are newbies to keep it alive, like the 4 above. It does my thieving heart good to see the old traditions handed down from "The Elders" to "The Novices".

Autolycus:
367) You win one of those small souvenir baseball bats at the end of the year dorm party. The next morning you hear screams coming from your roommate's closet where a pile of unconscious bodies have been stashed. You raise your new blackjack...

techleash:
368) You start waiting for the next clue while still connected to the internet.
369) You look for you'r health bar
370) You buy a gem that works like the one in thief. You then find out that the gem didn't work and break into the store at night to get more gem's just to see if they work too.

Well.. I hope these haven't been brought up before

Flamineo:
371) Horrified, you realise you've thought of a spin on this thread that you don't think's been posted yet, so are compelled to gird yourself with the shovel of Search and exhume its decaying, flyblown carcass yet one more time.
372) After many failed attempts you would finally have mastered sneaking into work/school/the exercise yard late, if it weren't for the fact you've been too preoccupied with Thief to bathe for a month so colleagues/classmates/fellow inmates can smell you at 20 yards.

Jennie:
373) You consider reinstalling Thief just so you can find the zombie head everyone talks about.

The Thiefster:
374) you throw a vase and shocked that it shatters when it hits the floor.
375) you jump in your pool and no air bubbles are seen to show how much air you have left.
376) you jump off a two story house and die when landing instead of losing shields and do not make a grunt sound and get back up.
377) you try to make a fire arrow but your bow turns into ashes and you get 2nd and 3rd degree burns.
378) you shoot a dead corspe with holy water but surprised that the body does not explode.

The Thiefster:
379) you read all of the replyes so you wont say somthing someone else has already said.
380) you try to grab a key from someones belt from ten feet away and is suprised that the key does not glow so you give up and play thief to make yourself feel better.
381) you here a alarm as you pass through a metal detecter and run to a dark area only to be arestted for possion of deadly weapons.

THE BLACK KNIGHT:
382) You have a bad dream at night and you fell for your left eye and say "its gone itsgone."
383) When you see a person carrying a hammer on the rofing poject you run and jumpof the roof saying"you'll never take me alive".
384) You steal your wifes weeding ring. and trade it in on a pair of lockpicks.

Paz:
385) When startled in public, you begin to whine like the (extreamly camp) servants.
386) You begin planning darker and darker deaths for your friend, who has borrowed your copy of thief and STILL hasn't returned it.

Master Assassin:
387) you go out and buy a brand new sound card just to play Thief in all its glory (I got a Creative Labs AWE64 Value! its sic)
388) u finally reply to this topic after spending 2 hours reading all the past ones - and then u plan on blackjacking the postman and stealing all his mail just so that you never recieve that humongous phone-bill :-)
389) you design a Thief fan site and put loads of shameless plugs for it ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE: http://members.tripod.co.uk/tazworld66/index.html

Junkie Doodle:
390) Daylight gives you a splitting headache.
391) You spend hours in the bathtub experimenting with different underwater potions.
392) You begin to look down upon people who make unnecessary sounds (and study your cat with great admiration).
393) You catch yourself saying: "...and the Builder said" way too much.
394) You're secretly in love with Victoria, but you don't know how to tell her.

Risquit:
395) Your baby brother struggles mightily to reach the water fountain and you tell him, "Just MANTLE it!"
396) Everytime you play basketball, you leave behind a scroll of personal quotes.
397) You can't go swimming without diving down to find a tunnel.
398) Your girlfriend sends you to 7-11 and you come back proudly displaying your "Big Gulp of Quintis".
399) While at 7-11, you notice a rather large spill of cherry slurpee and quietly wish you had brought your water arrows.
400) Still at 7-11..."those Slim Jims would make nice shafts for broadhead arrows"

[Mr Croft]

Karoshi:
401) You feel an uncontrollable urge to post in this thread so it doesn´t disappear.

I don´t know if this has been posted before, and frankly - I don´t care. The slider on the right side of my browser have never looked so intimidating...

DarKnight:
402) You don't freak out when you see giant spiders, zombies, and the such irl.

Goose:
403) You create a checklist of upgrades you want for your computer, just so you can enjoy thief moore
404) You realize that you have bought almost all items on the checklist

This might be a variation of earlier posts, but it's true for me. I have checked of new videocard, more memory, new speakers, new mousemat with wristrest and wristrest for the keyboard.

Ymochel:
Okay all of the following are the absolute truth, too ... :P

405) Whenever you meet a friend you don't greet him with "Hi" or "Hello" but with "I can see you now, sneaksie!" or "Something moves!" (or any other Thief exclamation).
406) You keep telling all your friends that they should beware the dawn of the metal age.
407) After blackjacking all the local policeofficers and carrying them to a nearby dark spot you find yourself shocked at them actually waking up again! (okay I lied about this one. I didn't do this ... yet )

Azal:
408) When your flatmate startles you while playing Return to the Cathedral, you try to blackjack her with your mouse

Risquit:
409) OK...you are sure, I mean 100% positive that you are the only one home, yet you still turn your head away from the monitor to see if there is anyone behind you!

[Mr Croft]

ades:
410) You start to think that a backlit keyboard would be the best peripheral ever.

Jades:
411) You wonder where you can get one of those glowing mushrooms (sorry if this has been done already).

bigfoot1000:
412) You decide to study both landscaping and architecture so that you can build yourself an exact replica of Constantine's mansion, all the while thinking to yourself, "I'll teach that Tricksie freak to mess with me! I'll show him that messing with me means losing everything. I'LL MAKE HIM PAY FOR MY EYE!"
413) When your friends get lost in the house, you take great pleasure in quietly following them, robbing them blind, and once you take everything that they're carrying you knock them out.
414) When making a new post to this particular thread, you have to spend 10 minutes waiting for the page to reload just to make sure you have the right numbers (what I'm doing now =)...
415: Only to find out that nobody posted in the hour you spent reading the last 200 things that indicate you play way too much Thief (DOH!).

Junkie Doodle:
416) You're so addicted you start wondering about taking Thief intravenously. (I know, not funny)
417) "Gimme FEAR, or gimme death!" You have mutated into one of the first fearaholics in human history.
418) as a result of all this you are aging faster than the president of the United States.

Top Taffer:
419) Your leg muscles have swollen to twice there normal size due to prolonged periods of shuffling around your house in the "crouched" position.
420) People comment on your permanent "narrowing of the eyes" caused by too much squinting into the darkness of your monitor.
421) Your on your 3rd monitor screen. The last 2 burnt out by excess use of the brightness dial. (Come on now..... don't pretend you don't do it too. "Suddenly I have night vision!")

Goose:
422) You are at work. You should really be doing something useful but instead you spend a lot of time reading "The guide to the strage and unusual thief" by Thumper. And after you're done reading you return to the list to add something to this thread.
423) You wish you could get a job as playtester of thief gold and thief 2.
424) You cannot get a job as playtester of thief so you consider getting into burglary instead.

Wyclef:
425) You find yourself making the "Sign of the Hammer" (left shoulder, right shoulder, stomach) rather than the "Sign of the Cross".

Kato:
426) Thou start to speak like the Hammers.

Uncia:
427) You suddenlt become very interested in mushrooms and their usage at home
428) Even your friends know what you're talking about when quoting Thief passages

Risquit:
429) You actually have to use Ctrl-End to get to the bottom of a Thief thread. (An ominous sign for us all...)
430) You try to look at the SIDE of the monitor to see where that flippin' guard is.
431) Those Starcraft users just don't get it do they?
432) You give up on trying to get the flippin' 1.33 patch to work and in so doing,convince yourself that you like playing 1.14 because its "old school".
433) Your evil brain tells you that you are the last remaining Thief player on earth who hasn't succeeded in patching to 1.33.

MetalBoy:
434) You decide to take a little break from Thief and you end up reading all 433 reasons why you are where you are, doing what you do.

Jades:
435) You create a set of Thief Monster Top Trumps cards.
436) You write a text adventure version of Thief.

KGoodsell:
437) You begin cultivating mushrooms at home expecting to save a fortune on electric bills, and are puzzled by their lack of illumination.

KGoodsell:
438) Everytime there is a conflict in a movie you are watching, you think "why doesn't he just blackjack that guys ass?"

mokkis:
439) You do your own house at DromED and you don't dare go to the bathroom, because there is big spider patrolling there

KGoodsell:
440) After getting bored building easy stuff (like your house), you decide to build the entire campus of the University you attend.
441) When your University level causes your framerate to drop through the floor, you think to yourself, "Maybe Thief needs a new engine..." A week later you've rewritten the entire Thief engine. From scratch. And it handles your University level easily.
442) You've developed an irrational fear of frogs and mosquitoes. "Those bastards hurt!"
443) You no longer have any interest in saving the trees.

MetalBoy:
444) You keep a note pad beside your keyboard 'just in case' you think of # 445 while you are immersed in a good game of Thief.
445) You've brought along a laptop with a copy of Thief to your favorite software outlet while camping outside waiting in line to buy Thief Gold.

Dr Octogon:
446) You curse the fool who invented summer, dammnable glare!

Risquit:
447) You have been thrown out of every restaurant in town for whining, "When are they bringin' me my dinner?"
448) You write a song called the "Cragscleft Prison Blues".
449) You contemplate e-mailing LGS to have them include an edited hard copy of this thread in the Thief 2 (or Gold) box.

MetalBoy:
450) In regards to # 449: Now that you mention it...

[Mr Croft]

Ergates:
451) You find a spider in the house and try to kill it from the other side of the room *(hiding in a shadow with a bow and arrow.

aviz8:
452) your boss tell you to go home and rest (you were using the pc to play thief and he didnt know) and you ask him for a map

MaximumSwing:
453) You start to talk in a strange way: "Bringsie me the manfool! I shall takesie him to the Woodsie lord!"

Keeper:
454) You sneak into a room with dark clothing on, stand right behind a person and then leave unnoticed, just to gloat about it to them later. I did this once, I waited under the stairs for about an hour waiting for the right moment. I got to see part of a really crappy movie like that.

Greyhound:
455) You look in the phone book for anyone's name that sounds anything like bafford or ramirez, and then rob them clean.

Sharga:
456) You hear you brother snoring in the middle of the night and mistake it for a zombie groan(ooooooooh, wheaz, mooooan) The next minute he wakes up with WATER IN HIS FACE, holy water that is!
457) You pause each time a major character shows up and you print the picture on your printer. Then you take it to an office supply store and have them blow the picture up very large. Then you make a cardboard standup of the picture, you do this until you have a cardboard standup for every character and monster in the game!
458) You have been repeditly caught sneaking around the town allies at midnight and knocking out poor helpless and homeless people with your homemade blackjack.
459) You ask people you know if you talk in your sleep. They say that you have said strange things like: Good thing I'm not afraid of hights and I'm willing to take some serious risks
35086) You write in this thread so much that you forget what number you are on.
461) You start sneaking around everyone without being seen like #454, first the easy people: your little siblings, then the neighbors dogs, then you sneak around your parents in your own house, then your household pets, then you make a sticker to put on everyone's back that you have snucked by. It says: You have been taken advantage of by a thief named____ (You fill in the blank)
462) You have beaten Thief in expert as many times as there are replies in this thread.
463) You forget that you didn't actuall go on a date with Victoria.

Para?noid:
464) You only date women called Victoria
465) You get into your house via the sewers
466) You develop a very broad head. And everyone laughs at you.

[Mr Croft]

Ludicrous:
468) You're cutting the grass and you happen to run over a frog with the lawn mower. As the pitiful creature kicks it's last breath you scream "TAKE COVER" and dive away to safety before it explodes!
469) You notice that the way your boss walks, suspiciously resembles that of a ratman's!

Garrett88:
470) Playing the game so many times you have a dream that you and Jennifer Love-Hewitt are starring in a Thief based movie. ( true story )
471) Thief has caused you to write many different stories and never finish them.

Greyhound:
472) You wake up with the thief instruction booklet in your underwear.
473) You wake up with the thief box in your underwear.
474) You buy frogs instead of fireworks on July 4th.
475) You legally change your name to garrett.
476) You make every Quest Item from the game out of cardboard & duct tape.

Garrett88:
476) You wish that when you become a WWF wrestler you can dress in all black and beat the crap out of the Undertaker and Kane. ( that's for you, Greyhound. )

computerwhiz:
477) When you open up a book to the first page you think it's the end because there are no bent corners
488) You start hallousinating there are guards and you grab a roll of toilet paper pretending it's a flash bomb... and you through it in front of them
(I don't know how to spell it so perfectly like millions of other people)

Para?noid:
489) You spend ages getting the title 'computerwhiz' but never make it in life cause you cant spell.
490) Your maw starts to be very chaotic (?)

Ludicrous:
491) You've played SO much that your 'clicking' finger has developed an uncontrollable 'twitch' and you inadvertently make a double post on this thread! like Para?noid hehe, just goofing with ya dude
492) You find that it's cheaper to buy your Keyboards and Mice in bulk to replace all the ones you wear out!

Sharga:
493) You experience Thief related dejavoo (I know it's spelled wrong but oh well).
494) You actually have a rope arrow of your own.
495) You experience Thief related dejavoo.
496) You have a strange interest in Arm & Hammer products.
497) You experience Thief related dejavoo.
498) You, your friends, your friend's friends, your friend's friend's friends, and your friend's friend's friend's friends know all of the Thief sayings and can speak them fluently.
499) You experience Thief related dejavoo.

Garrett88:
Omigod it's #

500) You steal your little brother's cape and walk around trying to be quiet but of course you aren't Garrett.

[Mr Croft]

Rolander:
501) When your sisters are using the PC when you return, you keep beating them on their heads with your blackjack... uh actually, a miniture police baton on your keychain to irritate them enough so they'll leave and allow you to play Thief(Demos) and check this forum...
(I hope I won't get flamed by all those taffers who are ladies or have GFs...)

Sharga:
502) You have the Thief menu burnt into your screen. (which can actually happen, thats what screen savers are for)!
503) You have a liscence plate that has something to do with thief.
504) You play Thief so much that you notice your CD ROM heating up. Soon smoke is pouring out of it. You grab the mouse pad to cool the arising flames but they burst into giant towering infernos. You manage to save one thing from your house (besides yourself) and it's the Thief CD!
505) You have been watching someone so close that you forget you haven't actually met them yet.
506) You know the name of every member of this discussion forum.
507) You have two children and you actually have time for 3261 posts!!!!!!!!(Your name must be Lytha then)Just a little joke, Bwaa Ha Ha!
508) You have discovered every nook and crannie of the Thief world.
509) You aren't afraid of the dark any more and you don't need a nightlight.
510) You sleep UNDER your bed (with the monsters) so that assasins won't find you when they look in your room!
511) You have never lost a hide and seek game yet! And you insist on throwing rocks at the person who is "it" while you are hiding in the shadows.
512 You actualy own the discussion forum. Mr. Nightfall take it away........
513) You dedicate a thread to Victoria.
514) You start stupid surveys that no one wants to answere but they do anyway. Hey! Why the #%&^%*&@! is everyone looking at me?
515) You have 7 uninterrupted replies!
516) You read this whole thread three times and realise that there are some times when someone coppied someone else.
517) You write an extremely long reply and then find out that you wrote the wrong password in and have to write the whole thing again!

Greyhound:
518) You post the 300th reply

Abysmal:
Wow! This thread is up to 300 replies!
519) You realize this thread is growing old.

Ludicrous:
520) You've changed your diet and now only eat those things available in the game! i.e. Deer legs, cheese, apples, carrots, bread, cucumbers, and that strange fruit which restores your health...Oh and of course MUSHROOM TEA!

Sharga:
521) You spend hours thinking of a signature that rhymes.
522) You can read this whole thread without laughing once(you stick in the mud!)
523) You play Thief for a while and get adjusted to the darkness then you come to this bright white discussion forum and you are blinded. You get yourself a pair of VERY dark glasses.
524) You talk like the ghosts in front of the cathedral and no one can understand you.
525) You have thought of and designed so many new monsters, levels, characters, weapons etc. that you could practically make Thief2 yourself.
526) You've made an acurate map of each level.
527) You never had a fear of bees before playing Thief (especially ones hovering over corpses).
528) You have searched every pet store possible for a burrock and have had no results, but you are still convinced that they exist.
529) You were thinking about Victoria when you locked you keys in your car.
530) Manteling has become part of your daily workout.
531) When you die you want to be buried in a huge octagonal tomb with a piped in organ system.
532) You never go hiking for fear that you will find an explorer's corps with a journal by it. The last entry will read, "I think I am safe here."
533) You start thieving from a local fast food restaurant. You start by stuffing the catsup and mustard packets into your pockets, then you move on to straws and napkins, you graduate to taking toilet paper, then you ask for a cup to fill with water but you secretely fill it with soda instead, you take your kids to the play equipment without purchasing something first, and the final test: you steal all of the food trays one by one untill the restaurant has been robbed blind! Then you move on to the next closest restaurant. Man are you cruel!

WARNING: this is only a joke, din't take it seriously and if you are stupid, and unskilled, enough to get caught don't blame me.

534) You build your house upside-down to mock Constantine.
535 You pick up what seems to be an expensive piece of pottery only to find that it is junk. You don't know how to get rid of it without making a clamor. Five years later when you've come back to the "real world" you wander how your mother-in-law's vase got in the attic.
536) You climb up a ladder to paint your house then you realise that you can't use things while on ladders or ropes so you have to hire someone to paint the house for you.
537) You won't enter an old Cathedral unless accompanied by the ghost busters.
538) When you see a well you dive to the bottom of it and take all the money that people have thrown in.
539) Waterslide Parks are booring now.
540) To keep your house safe during haloween (people get crazy around that time of year) you put arrow traps all around your house.
541) Someone toilet papers your house that Haloween. Then you find out that you accidentally put fire arrow traps in. the toilet paper catches on fire and burns down the house!
542) You get out all of those Legos that you played with as a kid, then you reconstruct Constantine's mansion, Then you get out your mideval knights and you put them in the location of each guard. After a days work you go to sleep. When you wake up you find that your son has destroyed it. =(

Garrett88:
543) You have posted on this thread with two different names ( I have I have )
544) You have more posts than this does replies. ( I do I do )

Sharga:
545) You paint a red hammer above your room so no one without permission comes in.
546) You recreate the Hammer torture chamber, just in case someon starts to annoy you.... he he he
547) You trade in all of your keys for a pair of lock picks.

Jayle:
548) You've been to almost every Thief forum out there and feel compelled to post atleast once on every "1000 clues you've been playing Thief way too much" thread. And believe me, there are a lot of Thief forums with a lot of "clues" out there.

Sharga:
549) You play the "maximum evidence style".

MoccoMouse:
550 you spend the night camped out on your roof with a bow and arrow, scrutinizing everyone who looks the faintest bit like a Guard or a zombie.
551) you continually find yourself making vague maps of the houses of everyone you know.
552) your neighbours are finding that small things, like audio cassetes or pieces of jewelry are missing after theve had you over for a Barbque or a party.
553) you are incapable of crossing the street at night because of the street lights.
554) you decide to use a homemade grappaling hook to crawl up the side of the street lights, smashing the glass with a basball bat and throwing water on it just so you can cross the street safely.

[Mr Croft]

MoccoMouse:
555) the only way your are capable of going to sleep is sitting tensely in a corner on the floor in a black robe and all the lights turned of.
556) you decide that many of the things on this list are a good idea, and you wonder why you never thought of them before.
557) you go through the entire game in your sleep, working out before unheard-of ways of killing the undead that actually work.
558) you realize the only way were going to make it to 1,000 is for as many of us as possible to stay up all night posting as fast as we can.
559) You don't realize it is a bad thing to stay up until 11:20 P.M. posting on this list is a bad thing!!!

Risquit:
560) You "hide" in the shadows in Kingpin and get wasted by the enemy.

Fred Chook:
561) You rewrite 'Prisoner of Society', The theme from 'The Brady Brunch' and 'Barbie Girl' to be Thief-Related.

Sharga:
What does shorah mean?
562) You write long threads that bicker pointlessly over shroom tea.
563) You have completed the game in every style that has been made up, and more.

Alive:
564) You are genuinely outraged when all those other stupid people (be it real life, on tv or in a book) just walk by that beautiful, shiny candlestick.

Wyclef:
565) You start to think your grandpa looks suspiciously like Constantine. (He does.)

Wrighter:
566) You have bruises all over your body from walking around your house at night with the lights off..

sid:
567) You want to climb a ladder and think that the only way you can do this is by jumping towards it (as opposed to stepping up onto like real people). The ladder bounces against the wall and you lose your balance/footing, falling backwards and requiring immediate medical attention.
568) You become bored with "maximum evidence style" so you switch to the "maximum bastard style" (or "maximum bitch" in my case).
569) You've played Thief so much that you discover that there actually is indeed a purpose for that blue key in Sword.

Coldrake:
570) You go downtown and pile up all the passed out drunks in a dark alley.

Garrett88:
571) You are addicted to shroom tea.

Para?noid:
572) You gain this innate ability to stack boxes over each other, and not have them topple down. Observe:

@ = box

----> Rooftops!
@
@
@
@
@

Dodgy Physics engine. tsk.

Cuttey:
573) You can't believe that all of the valuables in a museum aren't floating in the air.
574) when you go into a store to buy lockpicks you make sure that the store manager puts on a bullet, or arrow, proof vest before you purchase anything.

Para?noid:
575) You steal another fat nobleman's trinket.

[Mr Croft]

trickster:
576) At work, your greatest fear is that you are going to be assigned "monster baby-sitting."

Ace:
577) While visiting a dinosaur museum, you shout "There's a burrick!!" and run away screaming.

Sharga:
578) You are no longer afraid of

H

E I G h t s

579) You envy Garret: he doesn't have to worry about going to the bathroom.
580) You are so used to being Garret that you no longer buy shoes.

Alchemyst:
Shorah, and good night.

I realized the moment I fell into the fissure that the Book would not be destroyed as I had planned...

Thief with Riven graphics. Think about it.

581) You have a medical tag with the following words on it: Thief: The Dark Project If found unconcious, please make zombie noises to revive.
582) You copy the entire Thief CD to your hard drive in the hopes that the game will load faster.
583) You unzip every file on the Thief CD to your hard drive then go through and read/listen to them all.
584) You figured out how to edit the dark.cfg file without the patch.
585) You swear never to post here again then you break that promise.
586) You unzip the file books.crf file and read all the documents inside. Then you go back and play each level on all three dificulties just to see if you can find all the messages.

I'm guilty of the last one. I still haven't made it through every level though.

Alchemyst:
587) You've bookmarked your favorite Thief URL's but find that it's faster to type in the addresses. (Which you just happen to have memorized.)
588) You can type 75 wpm with one hand and have remapped the keyboard so that you can complete any mission without using the mouse.
589) You took the time to learn to type one handed so that you could play and eat frozen pizza at the same time.

I'm guilty of that last one too.

590) You post a topic to this list, then come up with a new topic just as you hit the submit button. So you go back and post a message right after your last post. Soon you are the only one posting to this list.
591) You go to your local library and check out every book that pertains to thieves, weird religions, masonry, ghosts, etc.

If you're a science fiction fan check out the Stainless Steal Rat series by Harry Harrison. The first book is "A Stainless Steal Rat is Born."

592) You go back and play every mission trying to get Garrett and all the other characters to say every single thing you found in the sound.crf file.
593) You are registered on this forum under multiple names so that you can post (anonymously) to yourself when no one else is answering your questions.

IP: Logged
Sharga:
593) You are extremely interested in Marquees and their effect

Rolander
594) You have another dream about a night of tomb raiding with:
1) Arrow traps
2) Zombies (and I even dreamt that I was shooting them with fire arrows, aiming for their navels, and when surrounded though of flash bombs!!!)
3) Roof hopping
--------
This is especially weird since I only played the demos of Bafford & Assassins. Hence no contact with arrow traps & zombies, and have never tried roof hopping...

It's real, of course. I just woke up after dreaming it...

[Mr Croft]

Seven:
595) You put Thief in your cd-rom and glue the drive door shut so that you will not accidentaly take Thief out.

(Sorry if these have been posted before; I didn't have time to read the whole list.)

596) You upgrade your Zip drive to a 250 just so you can save the entire snd.crf file to it.
597) You design your own Thief opperating system where you have to find keys and defeat guards before you can open files.
598) You write your own program to save this topic to your hard drive. You include an automatic update feature.
599) You write a program so that when you turn on your computer you have to play Bafford's on expert in under five minutes before it wil let you run Windows.

Swiftblade:
600) When walking in rooms with tile floors you walk on tiptoes to avoid stepping on panels that will send spears flying out of the wall.

[Mr Croft]

SecludedMemory:
601) When you get ready for work, you think your trenchcoat and tie are a Hammerite and a hammer out to bash your brains out.

Sharga:
I can't believe we passed 600!
602) You never walk up stairs, you always have used the rope arrow to get to the second floor.
603) You build your house entirely out of wood.

Thief_ZeR0:
604) When you walk into an open area, you suddenly expect the frame rate to drop to the floor, and walls to suddely dissapear.

Paz:
605(blimey) ) You're on this forum and reading this thread, even though the English football season kicks off in about 10 minutes. (Oldham Vs Preston, ahhh the glory of division two ).
606) You spend hours cultivating various strains of mould and bacteria, searching for the one that makes no noise when you walk on it.

Sharga:
607) Every time you go on an elevator you are amaized that it actually works.

Para?noid:
608) Life is a giant scripted sequence.

Sharga:
609) You are always afraid of old men taking your eye out.
610) You hate all frogs, rats, and praying mantises or manti (whichever is the correct plural form for mantis)

Paz:
611) You get confused and type entries number 509 and 510, when it should be 609 and 610 (Sharga! ).

Sharga:
612) You find out that Sharga already said that on page 7, #460
------------------------------------------
I'm one step ahead of you!

------------------
"I'll give you what for ya tike!"

Keeper Mallinson:
613) Whenever you see rotting mushy fruit on the ground, you feel inclined to eat it to give yourself strength.

Fred Chook:
614) You have links to every Thief site you find, and all the sites on their links pages, etc, etc...

Paz:
615) You knew Sharga was going to say that (or should that be under 1000 clues you've been on the Thief forum way too long?).

HeadFish:
616) You go to dinner with friends, and when they tell you to pull up a seat, you tell them they're living in a fantasy land.
617) You knock someone out and are amazed that they change position when dropped.
618) You actually believe in the Builder.
619) If you get in a fight and get hurt, you run away screaming, "man-flesh threatens!" or "our god is tested!"
620) You practice archery, and are surprised that the bow doesn't work nearly as easily as in Thief. (That actually happened to me)
621) You no longer believe in shrapnel.
622) You've ever knocked out your dog in fear that it was a burrick.
623) Someone has asked where your boss is, and you answered, "down in basement counting his loot, as always," without realizing what you said.
624) You've thought of burrick-hunting as a career choice.
625) You've heard someone talking in the night, and yelled "sneaksie is about!"
626) You've ever tried tomb raiding under your stairs.
627) You think the millenium bug has something to do with the Metal Age

[Mr Croft]

Sharga:
628) You knew Paz was going to say that.
629) You wear a patch over your eye and say that it was torn from you.

DeepQantas:
630) You start to see how unrealistic Thief really is. Of course, because of your own experiences.

Paz:
631) You knew Sharga was going to say th.......arrrggghhhh i'm trapped in a paradox. Help!

Ace:
632) Before you go to bed, you attempt construct a water arrow with a stick and a sponge so you can put out the lights.
633) One morning, you realise you can't remember the difference between a rat, a bat, a monkey, or an ape.

chickenlittle:
634) after sneaking around the local bank for a few hours you walk up behind one of the tellers and whisper"you should really get some hammer built security in here"
635) you use your homemade set of lockpicks to to break into the banks vault and you would have takin the money but unfortunately it didnt light up

SecludedMemory:
636) When you realize Paz's favorite group is The Cure
637) When you go to church and here the object above the alter start to talk
638) When you try to eat Doritos as quietly as you can

Fred Chook:
639) You, once again, scream 'They're cats! CATS! CATS! THEY EVEN SAID SO!' at Ace.

DeepQantas:
640) You have a seven pointed star (heptagram) painted on your floor.

Sharga:
Hey good one Ace. Sorry for the confusion Paz, but I knew you would say that...
641) When playing a racing game you hide in a dark tunnel and ram anyone who is passing by.
642) You wonder if it is possible to genetically alter a frog so that it will explode upon impact.
643) You notice that after beating Thief there is no sign that says, "No animals were hurt in the making of this game."

Cuttey:
Hey DeepQ! Who you callin' a wimp?
644) You try hiding in the shadows on Tomb Rader but the animals always find you. You would also gladly trade your magnum for a gas arrow.

Sharga:
645) You run into some spider webs and you instantly turn around to look for red spiders.
646) When you sit down at the dinner table you realize that you left you gas arrow in your back pocket, but it's too late... You wife comes in and finds everyone unconscious.

JefferyEMP:
647) WHenever your boss cathes you playing thief on a laptop during a meeting, you hit the restart button you had tatooed on your arm

Gage:
648) Every day for lunch you have a deer leg, an apple, a wedge of cheese, a loaf of bread, and some wine in a golden bottle.

Chimpy:
649) you can think of something original to add to this.

Ace:
650) One morning, you wake up to find you're feet have suddenly gone really pointed.

[Mr Croft]

mokkis:
651) Since I saw a spider first time in thief, I have scared real spider for death.

[Mr Croft]

mokkis:
652) You like so much editing by dromed, that you go to get from sshock2.com screenshot of dromed. It's really there!

carcassone:
653) Your are surprised when the door to your local library is unlocked!
654) You find yourself hiding when you turn on a light switch and wondering what other traps you may have triggered.
655) You find it uncomfortable using the front door.
656) You are afraid to look up when in a big city for fear of a much reduced frame rate.
657) You find yourself posting more and more entries to the top 1000 list...

Keeper Mallinson:
658) At the very sight of a certain jumping amphibian you run away screaming
659) You're in the park on a windy day; you're walking by a tree; one of its talons/branches brushes your shoulder; you jump and scream, and say, "Hey, what did you do with my eye, you little bitch!"
660) You go around work mumbling "I don't see why I have to walk around in the cold and the dark and the damp..."

The Cloaked Wolf:
661) Whenever you walk in your kids' bedroom and see one of their toys that glows in the dark, you immediately feel the urge to pick it up and add it to your "inventory".
662) Whenever you're up in the middle of the night walking to the bathroom only to encounter your sleeping cousin slowly advancing towards you mumbling in his sleep, you immediately start running frantically back down the hall and tearing through the house like a maniac to lose him, mistaking him for a zombie that must be outrun.
663) You learn that Apple computers can't run Thief, so you plot a raid on their company's headquarters, complete with black cloak and all necessary equipment.
664) You wonder how many more people will accidentally repeat others' suggestions for this list in the future.
665) You have a portable computer system built to wear like a suit, including a battery on your back and a miniature monitor placed before one eye, so you can be playing Thief 24 hours a day everywhere you go no matter what.

GraphiteRod - JB:
666) (Somehow, that's an appropriate number for a Jimmy Page fan.) Hope this isn't a repeat... You set your computer to defrag in order to FORCE yourself to get a breather from the game.

The Cloaked Wolf:
667) You develop a bizarre fetish for plants.
Heeheehee.....

Rolander:
668) You hop on the spot to get people's attention...

Chimpy:
669) You accidentally knock something over in your house and immediately run to the shadows thinking you've alerted some guards.
670) You hear someone coming and you look around trying to find a visibility gem.
671) When someone sees you you are confused because you can't figure out how to push the load button.

GraphiteRod - JB:
672) When you KNOW there are malicious people out there trying to lead new people on, not just *think* there are. And you don't find it funny, or intelligent, just discouraging to new friends.

Paz:
673) You're guilty as charged

Sorry everyone I confess, don't trust a word I say. It's all lies.

But seriously, no-one really believed me did they?

Fred Chook:
674) Thanks to all the stories of only holy water releasing the souls of felled undead, you attempt to do the humane thing and only use it, and thus get annhialated.
675) You reason that flash bombs should do so, since they're made by the Hammers and thus holy, and mines as well. You no longer get annhialated.