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Thread: Kleptomaniac - Part Two

  1. #1
    Registered: Jun 2000
    Location: SC, USA

    Kleptomaniac - Part Two


    "Another manfool joined the game,
    But he was kinda lame.
    He wasn't the same
    As the other manfools.
    He broke all the rules.
    Stumbling around and losing all his tools.
    Ignoring the jewels
    And stealing books instead.
    Out of his head.
    Running in fear from the hordes of undead.
    He claimed ta be a master,
    but he's really a disaster."

    - Excerpt from a Trixta rap

    The next day, after Garrotte had gotten several hours of sleep, he wandered into the sitting room of his apartment and saw Dugal sitting on the couch tinkering with the shattered Accordion of Quintus.

    "Hey Garrotte," called Dugal. "Glad to see that you didn't get caught by the Hammers last night. I must say I'm surprised you're not sitting in Cragscleft right now."

    "The Hammers were the least of my worries last night," muttered Garrotte.

    "Didn't you pay a visit to the Hammer temple?" asked Dugal.

    "How did you know I was going to do that?" responded Garrotte.

    "You haven't exactly made it a secret that you want to take back Slashy's belongings from the Hammers," said Dugal.

    "Oh," said Garrotte. "Well, I didn't visit the Hammer temple last night."

    "So where did you go?" asked Dugal.

    "I broke into Big R's place," replied Garrotte nonchalantly.

    "Big R's place!" exclaimed Dugal. "You're taffing me! He's one of the most powerful crime lords in The City! What were you thinking, man?! You're lucky you weren't killed!"

    "I almost was," said Garrotte. "Several times. As it was, I was helped by one of Big R's guards. I made a deal with him for my escape, but I didn't quite manage to fulfill my end of the bargain."

    "You made a deal with a guard?!" asked Dugal incredulously. "Honestly, Garrotte, you never cease to amaze me. Someone should write a book about your misadventures."

    "Heh, books," spat Garrotte. "It's because of a book that I went through all that trouble last night."

    "What do you mean?" asked Dugal.

    "Well, this guard, he wanted to get a job with some other crime boss, but the crime boss said he had to steal a book from Big R's in order to get the job. So I said I'd steal the book for him - me being a master thief and all. And I did too!"

    "You stole a book?" asked Dugal. "What was in it?"

    "Oh, just a bunch of dirt about people in The City," replied Garrotte. "Other crime bosses and such. Kinda boring stuff if you ask me."

    "Oh man!" exclaimed Dugal. "A lot of people would like to get their hands on a book like that! Where is it?"

    "Umm ... I lost it," said Garrotte sheepishly.

    "I should've known," commented Dugal.

    "Now this guard is out of a job," said Garrotte, "and it's up to me to help him get that job with the other crime boss guy."

    "How are you gonna do that?"

    "Well, I came up with the idea of getting a blank book and writing a bunch of made-up stuff in it about The City's criminal community," said Garrotte. "Trouble is, I don't know the names of the major crime guys, and nor does the guard I'm trying to help. I figured you knew all about those guys, so I kinda volunteered your services."

    "My services?" repeated Dugal with a worried frown.

    "Yeah," answered Garrotte. "I mean, what else have you got to do around here? I thought it would help you pass the time while your leg healed."

    "I see," said Dugal. "And how much are we getting paid to produce this book?"

    "Paid?" asked Garrotte, confused. "We're not getting paid anything. It's part of the deal I made with the guard for helping me escape. Haven't you been paying attention?"

    "I don't work for free," stated Dugal flatly.

    Garrotte paused, then said, "You'd be doing me a big favor."

    "Yes," replied Dugal. "But you're talking about helping out a guard. We thieves don't do that sort of thing. Guards are supposed to be our enemies, remember?"

    "But this guard is different," responded Garrotte. "He's ... well ... he's my friend. Besides, he wants to work for a crime boss. That kinda makes him a criminal - like us!"

    "All the more reason not to trust him," said Dugal. "If I'm gonna help this guy, I insist on being paid up front."

    "But I made a deal with him!" protested Garrotte.

    "And I didn't," said Dugal. "Like I said, my services aren't free. I've got to make a living somehow, since I can't do any thieving right now. I don't think it's unreasonable to charge this guy for priviledged information."

    Garrotte thought about it for a moment, then said, "Alright. I'm meeting this guy at the Crippled Burrick tonight. I'll tell him that you require payment for the book. By the way, how much were you thinking of charging him?"

    "I don't know," said Dugal. "Maybe 2500."

    "Great Builder in the sky!" exclaimed Garrotte. "That's a lot of money!"

    "Well, I don't come cheap," replied Dugal.

    "Alright," sighed Garrotte. "I'll tell him."

    [ July 30, 2001: Message edited by: LoneCoyote ]

  2. #2
    Registered: Jun 2001
    Location: Lurking :(

    Originally posted by LoneCoyote:

    "Another manfool joined the game,
    But he was kinda lame.
    He wasn't the same
    As the other manfools.
    He broke all the rules.
    Stumbling around and losing all his tools.
    Ignoring the jewels
    And stealing books instead.
    Out of his head.
    Running in fear from the hordes of undead.
    He claimed ta be a master,
    but he's really a disaster."

    - Excerpt from a Trixta rap

    Thats funny stuff!!
    "Garrett is a master thief who makes Sam Fisher look like one of those goofy toy monkeys with clattering cymbals!" ~D-Pad Destroyer~ GamePro
    ~Clan NBU~ Forever Watchful...

  3. #3
    Registered: Jul 1999
    Location: Los Angeles, CA

    Yesss, finally the new Klepto!
    Can't wait to see the V woman show up.

  4. #4
    Registered: Dec 2000
    Location: Hell on Earth

    HOORAY! The masta is back!

  5. #5
    Registered: Jun 2000
    Location: SC, USA

    Garrotte stepped into the Crippled Burrick and looked around. The place was filled with shady-looking characters scheming amongst themselves. A few turned to see who had come through the door, and snorted in amusement when they saw who it was.

    Garrotte walked over to the bar and was greeted by Toby, the barkeeper.

    "Hey Garrotte," said Toby. "Back for some more club sandwiches?"

    "No," replied Garrotte. "I'm supposed to be meeting someone here tonight."

    "Oh," said Toby. "Well, can I get you an ale?"

    "Sure," said Garrotte, looking around at the patrons. "Umm ... you haven't by chance seen a guard in here tonight, have you?"

    "A guard?" laughed Toby as he sat an ale on the bar. "Not likely. They tend to stay away from this section of town. Besides, I don't think my patrons would take too well to a guard coming in here."

    "Hmmm," mused Garrotte. "Maybe telling him to meet me here was a bad idea."

    "That reminds me," said Toby. "Some strange woman was in here earlier asking about Dugal's whereabouts. I told her that I didn't know where he was, but that you might know."

    "Me?!" exclaimed Garrotte. "Why did you tell her that?!"

    "Well ... umm ... she ... ah," stammered Toby. "She had a way of ... getting the information out of me. I'd told her before I'd realized what I'd done. Hope I haven't caused any problems."

    "What was her name?" asked Garrotte.

    "It was ... oh, I've forgotten what her name was," said Toby apolegetically. "It started with a 'V' though. Vegimatic? No, that's not it."

    "Does she know where I live?" asked Garrotte.

    "No," answered Toby. "But with her powers of persuasion, I imagine it won't be long until she finds out."

    "I'd better go," said Garrotte. "If you see a guard come in here ... umm ... nevermind."

    Garrotte drank the last of his ale, plopped a few coins on the counter, and rushed out the door.

    He had traveled a couple of blocks down the street when he heard a noise.


    Garrotte looked around to see what it was.

    "Pssssst! Over here!" whispered a voice.

    "Over where?" Garrotte asked as he looked around. "Who are you?"

    "It's me, Cogsdale!" answered the voice.

    "Do I know you?" asked Garrotte, still looking for the source of the voice.

    "I'm the guard who helped you escape from Big R's last night," whispered the voice.

    "Oh," said Garrotte. "Where are you?"

    "Over here," replied Cogsdale. "In the alley."

    "I don't see you," said Garrotte.

    Suddenly an arm emerged from the shadows, and a hand seized Garrotte's sleeve and pulled him into a dark alley.

    "Oh, there you are," said Garrotte as he discerned a dark shape in front of him. "What are you doing hiding back here?"

    "I can't risk being seen by anyone," said Cogsdale. "I'm a hunted man."

    "Haunted?" asked Garrotte as he looked around nervously for signs of the undead.

    "No, hunted," corrected Cogsdale. "I'm a wanted man. One of Big R's men saw me helping you escape last night, so now Big R's outfit is looking for both me and you."

    "But I thought those policemen shutdown Big R's operation," said Garrotte.

    "Well, not really," said Cogsdale. "You see, Big R and some of his men managed to escape the battle last night, and they've gone into hiding from the police. Big R is still in business, but no one knows where his new base is."

    "But why are they hunting for us?!" exclaimed Garrotte. "We don't have their book! The police have it!"

    "Revenge," replied Cogsdale. "Big R sees us as the cause of what happened last night."

    "Well, that's just great!" complained Garrotte.

    "And it gets worse," said Cogsdale. "Not only are Big R's men looking for us, the police are looking for us as well. And that Hammer guy we saw last night reported your existence to the rest of the Hammers, and they're looking for you too."

    "What are we gonna do?!" cried Garrotte.

    "Well, I don't know about you, but I'm gonna seek refuge with Webster's guys," replied Cogsdale. "As soon as that friend of yours hooks me up with that fake book."

    "The book!" exclaimed Garrotte.

    "Have you spoken to your friend about making that book for me?" asked Cogsdale.

    "Well, yes, but ... umm," stammered Garrotte. "You see ... ah ... there's a slight problem."

    "What?" asked Cogsdale warily.

    "He wants payment for the book," Garrotte blurted.

    "Payment!" exclaimed Cogsdale. "That's not part of the deal!"

    "I know," said Garrotte. "I tried to tell him, but he insists on payment."

    "This is an outrage!" exclaimed Cogsdale. "I fulfilled my end of the deal! Now I'm being shafted by a bunch of thieves!"

    "No! No!" insisted Garrotte. "Not shafted!"

    "What would you call it then," growled Cogsdale threateningly.

    Just then, a voice from the street called out, "I thought I heard something over there."

    In panic, Cogsdale grabbed Garrotte and shoved him behind a stack of crates.

    "Ow!" exclaimed Garrotte. "What did you do that for?!"

    Cogsdale frantically motioned for Garrotte to be silent.

    "Who goes there?!" called out the voice.

    Garrotte - now realizing why Cogsdale had shoved him behind the crates - fell silent.

    "As soon as I find you, you're dead!" called the voice again.

    "What is it, Quince?" called another voice.

    "I heard someone in this alley," replied the first voice. "It sounded like Cogsdale's voice."

    "Are you sure?" asked the second man. "Our contact said that Cogsdale was supposed to be meeting someone at the Crippled Burrick."

    "And we're only just a few blocks from the Crippled Burrick," added the first man. "It could be him."

    "Yeah, well, I'm not letting you talk me into killing the wrong guy again," said the second man.

    "Whaddaya mean?!" exclaimed the first man.

    "You said that the person in Fartus' shop window was the arrow salesman, remember?" said the second man. "So I shot him, and it turned out to be Fartus himself!"

    "Well, the lighting was bad!" countered the first man. "I can't see very well at night! That's why I've been trying to talk Big R into letting us do daytime jobs."

    "You, ninny!" exclaimed the second man. "We stand much less of a chance being seen if we kill people at night!"

    "But there's much more chance of actually seeing the people we kill in the daytime!" argued the first man. "Much less mistakes that way!"

    "We've gotta do this right, Jacow," said the second man. "We can't go killing people just because they sound like Cogsdale. We need to get a positive identification."

    "A what?" asked the first man.

    "A positive - what I mean to say is, we need to make sure it really is the guy we're looking for," said the second man.

    "Well, then, let's go into the alley and find him!" offered the first man.

    "Nah. Whoever it is is long gone by now," said the second man. "Come on. Let's go down to the Crippled Burrick."

    "You just want to drink yourself into a stupor," said the first man.

    "Well, of course!" said the second man. "What's wrong with that?!"

    The two men turned and began walking away, and Cogsdale breathed a sigh of relief.

    [ July 30, 2001: Message edited by: LoneCoyote ]

  6. #6
    Registered: Jun 2001
    Location: Lurking :(

    keep up the good work!
    "Garrett is a master thief who makes Sam Fisher look like one of those goofy toy monkeys with clattering cymbals!" ~D-Pad Destroyer~ GamePro
    ~Clan NBU~ Forever Watchful...

  7. #7
    Registered: Jun 2000
    Location: SC, USA

    Once the assassins had moved out of earshot, Garrotte asked, "Who were those guys?"

    "Quince and Jacow," replied Cogsdale. "Big R's assassins. Apparently, they escaped last night as well - and got some healing too by the look of it."

    Cogsdale looked Garrotte suspiciously, and added, "And thanks to you they know about our meeting at the Crippled Burrick!"

    "What do you mean, thanks to me?!" asked Garrotte in confusion.

    "You heard those guys!" ranted Cogsdale. "They had a contact that told them about our arranged meeting at the Crippled Burrick! Who could've known about that?! I certainly didn't tell anyone! Which means you must've told someone!"

    "Me?!" exclaimed Garrotte. "I didn't tell anyone! I didn't even -"

    Then Garrotte paused in sudden realization, and whispered, "No. It can't be."

    "What?!" demanded Cogsdale.

    "I told Dugal about our meeting," said Garrotte. "He's the guy that was going to make your book for you."

    "Ah ha!" exclaimed Cogsdale. "Your friend sold us out!"

    "No! I don't believe that for a minute!" protested Garrotte. "Dugal wouldn't do that to me! He's a fellow thief!"

    "So much for honor among thieves!" retorted Cogsdale. "He probably figured I wouldn't agree to pay him for the book, so he sold information about our meeting to Quince and Jacow."

    "He couldn't have done that!" argued Garrotte. "He's got an injured leg, so he's confined to my apartment!"

    "Is he now?" asked Cogsdale. "Are you sure his leg is really injured?"

    "What are you getting at?" asked Garrotte. "Of course it's injured! I saw him injure it myself!"

    "Well, injured leg or no, he's the only one who knew about our meeting tonight!" declared Cogsdale. "One way or another he got word about it to Quince and Jacow."

    "Wait a minute!" exclaimed Garrotte in sudden realization. "Toby said that some woman was asking about Dugal tonight!"

    "Who's Toby?" asked Cogsdale.

    "He's the barkeeper at the Crippled Burrick," replied Garrotte.

    "Maybe this woman is the middleman, erm, I mean, middleperson, between your Dugal and Quince and Jacow," reasoned Cogsdale.

    "No, it couldn't be," insisted Garrotte, but now his voice lacked conviction.

    "I think you need to face the music," said Cogsdale as he placed his hand on Garrotte's shoulder. "Your friend sold you out."

    "Well," said Garrotte. "There's only one way to find out: go back to my apartment and see what Dugal has to say about all this."

    "If he's still there," muttered Cogsdale.

    "Come on," said Garrotte. "Let's go."

  8. #8
    Registered: Jul 1999
    Location: Los Angeles, CA

    I love it when LC goes into these posting sprees!

  9. #9
    Registered: Jun 2001
    Location: Lurking :(

    Oh noo
    did he? or didnt he?
    ME WANTS TO KNOW!!!!!!
    "Garrett is a master thief who makes Sam Fisher look like one of those goofy toy monkeys with clattering cymbals!" ~D-Pad Destroyer~ GamePro
    ~Clan NBU~ Forever Watchful...

  10. #10

    Ohhhhh...the's killing me...MORE!! MORE!! Quick, before I die...*groan, groan*

    Seriously, though, GREAT!! Please keep it coming!!

  11. #11
    Registered: Dec 2000
    Location: Austin, TX

    Originally posted by Sharga:
    I love it when LC goes into these posting sprees!
    Well, we've been waiting so long... this is to help those who need their Klepto fix So many withdrawl victims here....

    Great Job LC!!

  12. #12
    Registered: Mar 1999
    Location: the City

    MORE MORE MORE, pleasee....

    Love your work LC!!!

  13. #13
    Registered: May 2000
    Location: Thunder Bay, On., Canada

    Fantastic! I love this stuff. Bring on the next helping.

  14. #14

    An assassin who can't see well at night! ROFL

    LC, the suspense is killing me too. Great work.

  15. #15
    Registered: Nov 2000
    Location: ttLg


  16. #16
    New Member
    Registered: Jul 2001
    Location: Texas


  17. #17
    Registered: Apr 2001
    Location: Ontario

    nice story.. lol.. killers.. I need the rest too! (I don;t think he did...)

    Man I need to think of something for here..

  18. #18
    New Member
    Registered: Nov 2000

    Oh baby oh baby oh baby, the LoneCoyote is back! Loved the new installs. Keep 'em coming!!

  19. #19
    Registered: Jan 2001
    Location: Pennsylvania, USA

    Not too bleedin' bad at all, LC. Can't wait to see how Garrotte handles the psychedelic mansion et al.

  20. #20
    Registered: May 2001
    Location: Ohio, the U.S.

    "Come out, wherever you are! Damn."


  21. #21
    Registered: Jun 2000
    Location: SC, USA

    Garrotte opened the door to his apartment and stepped inside - leaving the door open. Pieces of the Accordion of Quintus were scattered across the floor of the sitting room. Dugal was nowhere to be found.

    Cogsdale stepped through the doorway and looked around.

    "Where is he?" asked Cogsdale.

    Garrotte went to the bedroom and peeked inside. No Dugal.

    "He's not here," said a puzzled Garrotte when he had returned to the sitting room.

    "I'm not surprised," sighed Cogsdale.

    Out the open apartment door, Garrotte glimpsed a flash of movement in the hall way.

    "What was that?" asked Garrotte.

    At that moment, they both heard footsteps hurrying down the stairs leading to the first floor of the apartment building.

    "It's him!" declared Cogsdale, who then drew his sword and rushed out the door in pursuit.

    Garrotte started to follow him, but then remembered all the hidden valuables in the secret compartment in his closet. Were they still there? Had Dugal taken them? Garrotte needed to find out.

    He went to his closet door and opened it. Then, with some hesitation, he turned the knob that opened the door to the secret compartment.

    Suddenly, there was a blinding flash. Before he realized it, someone had pushed him up against the wall and was holding a knife to his throat.

    "Garrotte!" said the assailant. "It's you!"

    The assailant lowered his knife, and Garrotte realized it was Dugal.

    "What are you doing?!" demanded Garrotte.

    "Somebody was just here looking for you," replied Dugal, obviously shaken. "He knocked on the door and called out your name. Then he proceeded to pick the lock. I hid in the secret compartment just before he broke into the apartment."

    Garrotte stood staring at Dugal, trying to make sense of the night's events.

    "I heard voices a moment ago," said Dugal. "Was someone with you?"

    "Yeah, the guard I had gone to meet at the Crippled Burrick," said Garrotte.

    "Where did he go?" asked Dugal.

    "He's chasing after someone we heard running away down the stairs," replied Garrotte.

    "That must be the guy that was just here!" exclaimed Dugal.

    "The guard thought it was you," stated Garrotte.

    "Me?" questioned Dugal. "Why?"

    "Somebody tipped Big R's assassins about our meeting at the Crippled Burrick tonight," said Garrotte. "They were down there looking for us. The guard is convinced that you informed them about our meeting for profit."

    "I did no such thing!" protested Dugal. "Why would he think that?!"

    "Because you're the only one that knew about our meeting," replied Garrotte.

    "Well, I'm obviously not the only one," said Dugal. "Something very strange is going on. Somebody's going to an awful lot of trouble to find you. I don't think it's safe to stay here any more."

    Dugal limped into the sitting room, followed by a stunned Garrotte.

    "I don't understand what's going on," stated Garrotte. "Who could've known about my meeting at the Crippled Burrick? And who broke into my apartment just now?"

    Dugal noticed a scrap of paper lying on a table and said, "What's this? That paper wasn't there before."

    Garrotte went over to the table, took the paper, and read it aloud: "Garrotte, The balance hangs in the balance, and you know how important the balance is. It is more important than keeping the bathroom tile grout free of mold. The writings are clear - only the bumbling one can restore the balance. Yet there are some of us who believe that you will bring ruin to us all. They favor another - a friend of yours who is much more accomplished. They will stop at nothing to have you removed from the scales. You are in danger from them, but take heart. I and others like me believe the ancient writings, and will assist you in any way we can. Well, gotta go clean the bathroom. Take care. And for goodness sakes, clean up this apartment!"

    "What's that all about?" wondered Dugal.

    Garrotte sighed, walked over to the window, and opened it.

    "Does it make any sense to you?" asked Dugal.

    "It's from the Keepers," replied Garrotte as he stared out the window.

    "The Keepers," repeated Dugal, a little puzzled. "Didn't you say you were once a member of the Keepers?"

    "Yes," said Garrotte. "They still pester me from time to time. Something about a prophecy that they think has to do with me. I try not to pay too much attention to it."

    "The bumbling one," Dugal mused. "They think that's you?"

    "I guess," answered Garrotte.

    Dugal went over to the table, examined the note, then said, "It sounds like they are divided. Some of them like you, and some of them don't. It says that you're in danger from the ones that don't like you."

    "How nice," said Garrotte facetiously. "Not only are the Hammers, the police, and Big R's men trying to kill me, but the Keepers are too!"

    "Not all of them," said Dugal. "Just some of them."

    "Well that's a relief," said Garrotte sarcastically.

    "You sure do know how to make enemies," commented Dugal. "Say! Maybe it was the bad Keepers who told Big R's assassins about your meeting with that guard!"

    Garrotte's eyes lit up with the realization, and he exclaimed, "Yes! That would make sense! They would know about things like that. They seem to know everything."

    "I suppose this note was meant to warn you," said Dugal. "The note is kinda vague about some things, though. 'The balance hangs in the balance.' What's that suppose to mean?"

    "That's the way the Keepers are," said Garrotte. "They never just give it to you straight. They have to make everything sound like it's some kind of ancient secret."

    Suddenly, they heard footsteps coming up the stairs outside the apartment. Dugal drew his knife and positioned himself just inside the doorway. Garrotte reached for his sword, but realized he didn't have it with him, so he just stood there.

  22. #22
    Registered: Nov 2000
    Location: ttLg

    Woah. Garrotte grew up a pinch. what happens at the end, does he end up a nonclumsy master thief? Oh well. Funny Stuff, LC. Very.

  23. #23
    New Member
    Registered: Feb 2001
    Location: Phoenix, AZ

    Great job LC, it was well worth the wait!

    [ August 01, 2001: Message edited by: CruX ]
    Guinness, it's not just for breakfast anymore!

  24. #24
    Registered: Jul 1999
    Location: Los Angeles, CA

    Hehe "The Bumbling One"

  25. #25


    Go go Coyote! ::does the coyote dance of more postings in a new thread::

    Er, I mean, well done. =;]
    Carrote the Klepto
    (No, Carrote, with a C,
    like a fancy carrot...)

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