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Thread: Not The News

  1. #101
    Registered: Aug 2009
    Not all heroes wear capes

    A man climbed into the back of a speed camera and flashed passers-by with his phone as a prank.

    John Westlake, from Wirral, was on holiday with his wife, Sarah-Jane, at the Lyons Winkups Holiday Park in North Wales when he performed the stunt.

    The 38-year-old said he thought it would be "a funny way of killing some time" whilst they waited for a takeaway pizza by the site.

    The video, which was widely shared on Facebook and has racked up over 17,000 views, shows him flashing passing cars with his mobile phone whilst sat inside the camera's casing, North Wales Live reports.

  2. #102
    Registered: Aug 2004
    Oh. That kind of "Flashing".

  3. #103
    Registered: Dec 2020
    Liz Truss makes Boris Johnson look competent. Good work, tories

    Massive tax cuts to "fight inflation". When anyone with a brain knows that tax cuts are inflationary.

    Thus, the value of the Pound has collapsed on the markets, and the UK treasury has had to announce big hikes in interest rates to try and deal with the extra inflationary pressures of the low Pound.

    It's especially bad because the cause of the inflation is mostly supply-side, so stimulating demand is just going to push prices through the roof.

  4. #104
    Hurricane Ian hitting the West coat of Florida now:

    It's gonna get worse…

    Edit: Wrong link.

  5. #105
    Registered: Dec 2020
    A guy called his QAnon mom because he was worried (she's right in the way of the hurricane) and got this:

    I called my Qmom today to ask how she was preparing for the hurricane (she lives on the coast)...and she said "What hurricane?"... so I informed her of the category 5 hurricane coming directly her way, to which her response was "You sound like such a goyim. Why do you watch the news? What's your source anyway?"- all the while I could hear her patio furniture banging around outside in the wind.
    "Goyim" because they think the Jews run the media, and regular "goyim" is their term for the sheep who believe mainstream media. The anti-semitism just gets more blatant as time goes on.

    Others say the hurricane might have been fake and was cover for Donald Trump to rescue children from the "DUMBS" (deep underground military bases) below Disneyland.

  6. #106
    Registered: Dec 2020

    Former GOP candidates push baseless QAnon conspiracy theory that Hurricane Ian was created to punish DeSantis

    Two far-right former Republican congressional candidates amplify baseless conspiracy theory that ‘deep state’ creates storms to target Republicans

    While Florida residents and emergency crews survey the devastation from Hurricane Ian, which continues to barrel along the East Coast, two former far-right congressional candidates floated a baseless conspiracy theory that the federal government created the storm to “punish” and “target” Republicans.

    Lauren Witzke, a QAnon-supporting conspiracy theorist who was the GOP candidate for US Senate seat in Delaware in 2020, said she has “no doubt” that “technology exists to manipulate weather” that could be used to target Florida Governor Ron DeSantis.

    “We know the technology does exist,” she told former GOP congressional candidate Deanna Lorraine on her far-right conspiracy theory streaming channel, above a caption reading “Biden Builds Transhuman Cyborg Army Using Immigrants”.

    “Of course they would be willing to do something like this to target red states. I have no doubt. The technology exists to manipulate weather,” Ms Witzke added in a clip captured by watchdog group Right Wing Watch. “I know Florida is prone to hurricanes, however this developed to [a category 5 or category 5 storm] overnight, and it does seem to be hitting the conservative areas.”

    She said she is “not putting it past the elites to target something like this towards Florida” as “punishment” for eliminating Covid-19 vaccine requirements and “getting rid of child grooming,” referencing the state’s law prohibiting classroom discussion of LGBT+ people and issues by smearing its critics as “groomers.”
    It's kinda amusing that they're using the Covid conspiracy narrative on hurricanes now. First, there was no hurricane, it was a hoax to scare people. Then, once they couldn't deny the hurricane's existence, they switched to the Democrat elite created the hurricane to hurt Republicans.

  7. #107
    Registered: Aug 2004
    Man, sometimes I wish Democrats were nearly as cool and effective as the Republican fantasies of them are.

  8. #108
    Registered: Dec 2020
    These right wing "news" sites are hilarious. There are Anons warning people that FEMA are a bunch of mass-murdering looters sent by Biden to pillage Florida, and to only trust the military. Here's one of their fantasies:

    ... Mrs. Davis thought salvation had arrived when, glancing outside a window, she spied a motorized raft pulling up alongside her inundated home. Shouting through a bullhorn, the persons on the raft identified themselves as agents of the Federal Emergency Management Agency and said they were taking storm survivors to secure shelters far from the flood.

    She cradled Hannah in her arms and plodded down a staircase into murky water, which reached her thighs. She trudged through the water, trying to keep her balance, and said she needed help but was awaiting the return of her husband, a paramedic. A FEMA agent in the raft insisted that she evacuate, and, leaning over, yanked the child from Mrs. Davis’ arms.

    It was then that the agent asked Mrs. Davis whether she had valuables in the home he needed to know about—cash, gold, jewelry, or guns. When she said everything was under water, the agent told her deliverance had a price. If she couldn’t pay, she wouldn’t be saved. The FEMA agent then held Hannah by the wrist and dangled her over the edge of the raft, saying, “Are you sure you aren’t hiding anything from us?”

    At that moment, by sheer luck, an airboat holding six U.S. Special Forces soldiers veered onto the street. They assessed the situation and through a bullhorn of their own commanded the FEMA agents to surrender and handoff the child to her mother. Four of the six soldiers aimed rifles at the marauding FEMA agents.

    “Come any closer and we’ll drop her,” one FEMA agent shouted.

    A round sizzled through his forehead, killing him instantly. He tumbled off the raft into the water.

    “The rest of you are dead if you don’t comply,” a Special Forces soldier replied.

    The remaining FEMA agents stood down and returned the child to her mother.

    “The other 3 FEMA agents have been taken into custody, and Mrs. Davis and Hannah are now with Mr. Davis in a safe location,” our source said. “We got lucky. Right place, right time. Truly miraculous; otherwise, who knows what they would’ve done to Julie and Hannah.”
    EDIT - and tracing this story back got me to the motherlode:

    In this episode of Phantoms & Monsters Radio, we present Carrie and Greg, a married couple living in Summit County, Ohio who have been dealing with a 12-year saga. Namely, there are monsters in their yard. Cryptid canines are a part of their everyday life. Join us for an intriguing look at the evolution of their ordeal...what they have experienced and what they have learned from it.

    As a weakened Hurricane Ian moved toward South Carolina Friday afternoon, so too did something more ominous and lethal than any storm to have made landfall on the United States. A Federal Emergency Management Agency transport vessel, colloquially called a FEMA barge, followed Ian’s track at a safe distance, just beyond the storm’s outer bands. These mammoth, towering specters, several hundred feet long and several stories tall, have often trailed landfalling hurricanes up and down the Eastern Seaboard or along the Gulf of Mexico. FEMA calls them hospital ships or temporary relocation shelters, but those descriptions are deceptive. Hurricane exiles who have been aboard these ships, and lived to talk about it, have seen the horrors that lie within the bulkheads: guillotines and torture apparatus reminiscent of the Middle Ages.

    In August 2017, after Hurricane Harvey laid waste to parts of South Texas, a teenage boy witnessed his estranged father, a homeless vet down on his luck, being dragged aboard a FEMA barge berthed at Port Arthur, Texas. He had somehow entered and exited the ship without drawing attention, and although he never found his father, he later said what transpired inside the ship reminded him of the movie Hostel, a satanic torture-porn film we’d rather not discuss.

    Those events could’ve played out again this weekend, if the FEMA barge had anchored near Charleston or Georgetown, South Carolina.

    But as Ian’s eye hit the coast and FEMA shadowed the storm, U.S. Navy SEALs aboard a Los Angeles-class submarine had eyes on FEMA. From a lockout tank atop the sub, the SEALs, armed with demolitions and aided by SEAL Delivery Vehicles (motorized underwater sleds), deployed into dangerous water and intercepted the laggard barge. They set explosives along the hull, then retreated to a safe distance and remotely detonated the charges. The FEMA barge was approximately 35 miles east of Georgetown, South Carolina, when it foundered and sank in rough seas.

    All SEALs made it safely back to the submarine, a source in General David H. Berger’s office told Real Raw News.
    BTW I hear that the first story as well as this one claim General David H. Berger is in the man in charge, but that he's just NOT in the chain of command for US special forces or the Navy Seals at all.
    Last edited by Cipheron; 1st Oct 2022 at 22:25.

  9. #109
    Registered: Dec 2020
    I did a literal eye-roll when I got to the bolded part:

    Police detained an American tourist at a Vatican museum after he disfigured two ancient Roman sculptures by hurling them to the floor, authorities said Thursday.

    The man toppled the artwork on Wednesday at the Chiaramonti Museum, which is part of the Vatican Museums and home to one of the most important collections of Roman portrait busts.

    Italian newspapers reported that the man grew angry because he was not allowed “to see the Pope.” A representative for the Vatican Museums told The Washington Post that his motive was unclear.

  10. #110
    Registered: Aug 2004
    "his motive was unclear" Dude he like just told you his motive.

  11. #111
    Registered: May 2004
    Trevor Noah chimes in on Musk's Twitter woes:

  12. #112
    Registered: Dec 2020

    People are just able to buy blue checkmarks now and it's causing chaos. An account bought a checkmark and impersonated LeBron James, spreading unfounded rumors. Apparently as long as you're not impersonating Musk, it's all fair game as long as you pay. Verification basically doesn't exist any more.

    I think Musk may have fundamentally not understood the purpose of verification, and what value it provides for the platform itself. Who would spend money to advertise there if no account can be trusted? You might as well stick ads on 4chan now.


    Also in Not really news:

    KFC’s German arm has apologised for an app alert urging customers in the country to commemorate one of the most horrific Nazi attacks against the Jewish population.


    “Commemoration of Kristallnacht – treat yourself to more soft cheese and crispy chicken. Now at KFCheese!” the message read.

    Sources said a bot checking notable dates may have been to blame.
    They say "bot" to cover themselves but it could just have easily been some younger person on the social media team (either German or maybe English speaking), who saw in a calendar that Kristallnacht is "commemorated" in Germany and missed the context entirely.
    Last edited by Cipheron; 10th Nov 2022 at 18:52.

  13. #113
    Registered: Aug 2009
    In next level dumbassery news

    Woman throws away 7 computers, because she didn't know they needed to be charged, and thought they were broken

    “I had a woman transferred to me who was very upset because her refund was late,” @rubygirl_22 says in the video. “We had been on the phone for basically an hour, and she was very upset about this refund being late because she needed to buy a new computer. Totally understand, school is expensive. Because we’re on the phone for over an hour, she’s kind of telling me more things about her life story. She makes a passing comment that this is the seventh computer that she’s gone through, and I’m thinking oh yeah, you’re a PhD student, it’s going to take you a lot of computers to get through your program, or multiple degrees, is what I was thinking. She clarified this was her seventh computer in three weeks.”

    @rubygirl_22 says she found out the woman went through that many computers because she simply did not know that they needed to be charged.

    “I asked if any charger came out of the box, and she goes, ‘There’s no such thing as a charger,’” she says. “I asked her to go get the box from the computer, and I asked her to look inside of it, and she goes, ‘Oh yeah, I found a cord to something.’ It takes another 15 minutes of convincing her to plug the computer in. When she plugged the computer in, pressed the button, and it turned on, she started screeching in my ear and started yelling at her husband who is sitting next to her. Apparently she threw seven brand new computers out because she didn’t know how to charge them. This person was in a PhD program. Seven brand new computers in the dumpster that she can’t ever get back.”

    Viewers were unsurprised that someone had made it so far in the education system without knowing that a computer must be charged in order to continue using it.

  14. #114
    Registered: May 2004
    That sounds like a made up story if I ever heard one.

  15. #115
    Registered: Dec 2020
    Quote Originally Posted by Starker View Post
    That sounds like a made up story if I ever heard one.
    While I'd believe someone is that dumb, it does seem unlikely for the sole fact that they used a phone to make the call. So this PhD student has never used a cell phone either?

  16. #116
    Registered: Dec 2020
    Well not really news for most of you, but in Victoria Australia the Labor party and Greens completely crushed the right-wing parties in todays elections.

    State-wide, Labor took 35 seats, and the Greens took 5. The Liberals + Nationals (our Republicans) got ... 21 seats.

    For some highlights, they've got a huge Murdoch-media hate-boner for the Labor leader Dan Andrews, who is, and this will be a shock, simultaneously painted as more authoritarian than Stalin but also incompetent and weak.

    To give you an idea on how little dirt they actually have on Andrews, these are the two big-gun stories they dredged up right before the election

    1) Dan Andrews fell down once, and got hurt. It was on some stairs. What is he hiding? The stairs weren't even that high. "Stairgate":

    2) Once, about 10 years ago, before Dan Andrews was in power, his wife was driving a car (he was a passenger), and she was turning into a side street and a cyclist crashed into the side of the car (they cyclist got $90K compensation). Basically they constantly bring this up and Andrews is tired of answering Murdoch reporters who ask him about it, and they portray his frustration about the reporters bringing it up with a lack of compassion for the cyclist.

    The success of their media strategy is that a lot of anti-Dan people seem to think the story involved Dan Andrews driving a car and hitting a cyclist, then there being a government cover-up about it. Despite the fact (1) he wasn't driving the car (2) the cyclist ran into the car and (3) he wasn't in power yet.


    Also the big one is that they hold Dan Andrews in contempt because he did the 2020 Mask Mandate and Covid Lockdowns, which enabled us in this city to walk around with NO MASKS and before vaccines were even available, for about 6 months from around Sept 2020-March 2021.

    However, confusingly, a FEW cases got through the lockdown / quarantine system, causing an outbreak, and the also got upset at Dan Andrews for that. Think about that: guy locks down city, there are then zero cases, they get upset about the lockdown. Then, a few cases creep in and they get upset about the rate of infection NOT BEING ZERO, and blame the guy who got the rate to zero in the first place. Literally ONE infected person gets into the city and they're freaking out that Dan Andrews hasn't hermetically sealed the city ENOUGH.

    Clearly, most voters weren't buying it.

    EDIT: this guy is literally my local member, and I voted against him. So yeah, if this guy loses his seat I'll be pretty happy:
    Last edited by Cipheron; 26th Nov 2022 at 08:46.

  17. #117
    Registered: Dec 2020
    I heard about the "Liver King" a while ago from someone who wanted info on eating raw liver. Supposedly, eating a ton of raw liver had given the "Liver King" this amazingly muscly physique.

    I was skeptical, because I've read studies where subjects eating cooked eggs absorbed almost twice the amount of amino acids as those who ate raw eggs. Those who ate cooked eggs absorbed 90% of the egg's protein as opposed to the raw egg eater's 50%. This makes sense, since cooking breaks down the long protein chains, and it's the amino acids you actually need to create proteins in your body. So pro-tip: the classic raw eggs bodybuilding thing is bad science.

    So it made almost zero sense that this "Liver King" got "extra" protein by not cooking his meat. It just doesn't work like that. In fact, it makes sense from a historical and evolutionary perspective, that nutrients being easier to digest was the advantage that fire bestowed on our ancestors vs other hominids who didn't use fire. If eating raw meat was so advantageous then fire-based cooking of meat just wouldn't have taken off, since those tribes who used it would have been smaller and weaker.

    Anyway, today the news broke about the "Liver King's" real secret sauce. Steroids. Fuckloads of steroids:

    So he's a fake, and if anything, the raw meat aspect is counter-productive.
    Last edited by Cipheron; 3rd Dec 2022 at 19:48.

  18. #118
    Registered: Dec 2001
    Location: OldDark Detox Clinic
    Eleven thousand dollars a month spent just on taking steroids. What an ass.

  19. #119
    Registered: Apr 2001
    Location: Lost in the BSP...
    Quote Originally Posted by uncadonego View Post
    Eleven thousand dollars a month spent just on taking steroids. What an ass.
    Yeah.. but I bet it was a muscly ass. :-D (sorry, couldn't resist)

    How's it going, Old Fart?
    I was gonna PM you, but hey, this works too. CommChat's middle name is 'derail' anyway.


    See? You just have to look closely. :-P

  20. #120
    Registered: Dec 2001
    Location: OldDark Detox Clinic

    Doing good Godsmack. Nice to see you resurface once in a while.

  21. #121
    Registered: Apr 2001
    Location: Lost in the BSP...
    Miracles do happen sometimes.

    Glad to see you're still about.

  22. #122
    Registered: Dec 2020
    Well this story has legs now:

    Infamous internet personality, Andrew Tate tried very hard to irk the young activist Greta Thunberg, but the 19-year-old literally burned down the 36-year-old's silly attempt. It all began when Tate tagged Greta and tried to show off his car collection and said that he wanted to send her a list of all his cars and how much carbon emission he was responsible for.
    Greta Thunberg: yes, please do enlighten me. email me at
    Andrew Tate was so butt hurt, that he made a video of himself, smoking a cigar and went on to question Greta Thunberg's sexuality. He could be saying that the activist had 'a small di*k' and also ordered pizza's and made sure the packaging of those pizzas were not recycled. Sharing the video he wrote, "Thank you for confirming via your email address that you have a small penis @GretaThunberg The world was curious. And I do agree you should get a life."
    But the interesting part is that Andrew Tate is wanted in Romania for rape and human trafficking charges. And the pizza box in the video was a local chain, confirming Tate's location for the Romanian police. Who have since arrested him.

    Ex-kickboxer and online influencer Andrew Tate was detained in Romania in connection to an alleged human trafficking case, Reuters reported Friday.

    Tate will be detained for 24 hours, alongside his brother Tristan and two other suspects from Romania. The arrests come after a Romanian anti-organised-crime unit raided Tate's properties, where they found six women who are alleged to have been sexually exploited by the suspects.

    "The four suspects ... appear to have created an organised crime group with the purpose of recruiting, housing and exploiting women by forcing them to create pornographic content meant to be seen on specialised websites for a cost," the prosecutors said.

    Another interesting angle is that the far-right loonies are supporting him and saying he's been framed for going against Greta Thunberg. So the illuminati who are Greta's pals reached across the world to get him arrested. /s

    Also, they're steering well clear of mentioning the pizza box. If that had been someone who wasn't right-wing then they'd be all over a known rapist and human trafficker being busted because of secret clues on a pizza box.
    Last edited by Cipheron; 30th Dec 2022 at 09:03.

  23. #123
    Registered: Jan 2003
    Location: NeoTokyo
    Nobody could write a story that good.

    Edit: The best reply I've seen to this: Prison is one way to reduce his carbon footprint alright.
    Last edited by demagogue; 30th Dec 2022 at 11:30.

  24. #124
    Registered: Dec 2020
    Quote Originally Posted by demagogue View Post
    Nobody could write a story that good.

    Edit: The best reply I've seen to this: Prison is one way to reduce his carbon footprint alright.
    There was another good burn i saw a related screencap of today.

    One Twitter user was slagging off Greta Thunberg asking why some 19 year old climate activist was famous.

    And another user replied to him "dude, you literally play video games for a living".

  25. #125
    Registered: Feb 2001
    Location: Somewhere
    The pizza box thing is fake news, it had nothing to do with his arrest. What did is the fact he flew his private plane into Romania, posted on instagram that he was in Romania, and that the police knew where his house is, having been there before.

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